The official language of Flyertalk
 

While Flyertalk accepts postings in any language, the default
seems to be English. Many cities, states and private
organizations are declaring English their official language.
However, there is some resistance from Arturo and states such as New Jersey
where it is thought that English spelling is unnecessarily
difficult. A multi-year phased program is proposed to implement
needed changes.
In the first year, Flyertalk might suggest using 's'
instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities
would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be
replased by 'k', sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not
only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal
workers at Amerikan and Air Kanada, but keyboards kould be made with one less
letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it
is announsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be
written 'f'. This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty
persent shorter on the skrean.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan
be expekted to reatsh the stage where more komplikated tshanges
are possible. We would enkourage the removal of double letters
whitsh have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. We would
al agre that the horible mes of silent e's in the languag is
disgrasful. Therfor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read
and writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be
four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptiv to
steps sutsh as replasing 'th' by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion
of 'w' kould be takn on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'.
Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from vords
kontaining 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.
Kotinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud evntuli hav a
reli sensibl riten stil. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor
trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand etsh
ozer. Ze drems of Flyertalk vud finali hav kum tru.

Arturo! IS THAT YOU???

Reminder of that great phonetic textbook "Shuck luvs Chirley" http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/biggrin.gif

sorry can't remember the author's name

Speaking of...
http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif
"spoonerism"
------------

This term for interchanging parts of two different words in a
phrase is named after the Reverend William Archibald Spooner
(1844-1930), Dean and Warden of New College, Oxford. The Oxford
Dictionary of Quotations, 2nd edition (1953), attributed two famous
spoonerisms to Dr Spooner: "Kinquering congs their titles take",
and "You have deliberately tasted two worms and you can leave Oxford
by the town drain." (The "down train" was the train going away from
London, in this case through Oxford. Other popular attributions to
Dr Spooner are: "a well boiled icicle"; "a blushing crow"; "a
half-warmed fish"; "our shoving leopard"; "our queer old Dean"; "You
hissed my mystery lectures"; "My boy, it's kisstomary to cuss the
bride"; "Take this in aid of Oxford's beery wenches"; "When the boys
come home from France, we'll have hags flung out"; "Pardon me,
madam, you are occupewing my pie. May I sew you to another sheet?";
and "Have you any signifying glasses? Oh well, it really doesn't
magnify.")

But after the publication of _Spooner: A Biography_ by Sir
William Hayter (W. H. Allen, 1976, ISBN 0-491-01658-1), the Oxford
Dictionary of Quotations, 3rd edition (1979), gives only one
spoonerism ("weight of rages"), and says: "Many other Spoonerisms,
such as those given in the previous editions of O.D.Q., are now
known to be apocryphal." The OED says the word "spoonerism" was
"known in colloquial use in Oxford from about 1885." In his diary
entry of 9 May 1904, Spooner wrote that someone he met at dinner
"seemed to think he owed me some gratitude for the many
'Spoonerisms' which I suppose have appeared in Tit Bits." One of
the undergraduates who attested "weight of rages" commented: "Well,
I've been up for four years, and never heard the Spoo make a
spoonerism before, and now he makes a ****ed rotten one at the last
minute."

From: http://www.alt-usage-english.org/excerpts/fxspoone.html

thet knot arturo abov, butt arturo lik et an kan unerstan awl phan-of-sosa rite. mebe ophishal lingwage of talkflier shud bea lik sosaphan rite. et bee guud.

------------------
Loving, Caring, Honest, Intelligent, Empathetic, Creative, and Giving.

You Anglophiles (hmmmm... that includes me too... better use something else instead http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif)... You Oxbridge acolytes (now there's a group I can't possibly be counted as belonging to!) may kvell over the Rev. Spooner and his -isms, but he barely colds a handle... I mean holds a candle to the true bard of linquistic license (or is it off-licence?), YOGI BERRA, who would like to thank everyone who made this day necessary.

Why don't we declare the official language to be Esperanto?

Subject : Be Ready for Europe

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c"....Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In fase 3 in the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag isdisgrasful, and they should go away. By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!!!

http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/biggrin.gif

sosafan-

Nicest laugh I have had all day....thanks

All this talk of language reminds me of the story about Winston Churchill addressing an assembly of Frenchmen. The Prime Minister attempted to say: "When I look at my past, I see that it is divided into two parts..."

What came out was this: "Quand je regarde mon derriere, je vois que c'est divisee en deux parties..."

Which is more closely translated as "When I look at my rear, I see that it is divided into two parts..."

Sir Winston was a man of uncommon vision. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

Seems Arturo is years ahead of his time...

Rudi - be careful my man. We are a resourceful people.

http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif