Tipping:Hot Button I know. Other suggestions?
 

Okay, Okay before the fur starts flying just hear me out.

I understand people have strong feelings about tipping in China. I understand and respect the customs and would definitely not want to add to the bad 'American' influence. Which as I understand is already becoming pretty prevalent at some of the more upscale hotels/restaurant.

It also doesn't help when you read signs and get loud hints to please tip your driver/tour guide/spa masseuse or anyone else. I think most of us bad-influence-foreigners have just been conditioned in a tipping society and don't know what to do when the bell boys, door man, servers, etc. does the "linger & stink-eye" international symbol for I'm-waiting-for-my-tip shuffle. Also, what about the someone I really want to say thank you for the great job helping me, what do I give them to show my appreciation when 'Thank you' isn't enough? We, or rather I can say at least on my behalf -I do not want to add to the problem, nor do I want to disrespect anyone let alone a whole culture. My husband on the other hand is positively thrilled about supporting the no tipping in China etiquette, he also never waited on tables but I digress.

So on that note could you add your 2 cents on suggesting something else I could instead use as a thank you? A small item/token that I can bring that would be a symbolic gesture I could give instead? Something small so that I can carry a bunch around with me, but not crap either that they will have no actual use for or want. Like a small hostess gift if you will.

I'm a confectioner so I thought maybe chocolates, or candy, or cookies It would be heartfelt and made with my own tiny hands. But I'm not sure 1.-carrying bags of chocolates/cookies is practical as a tourist 2.-kinda creepy taking candy from a stranger, (though I won't be wearing a trench coat and twirling my evil mustache next to my skeevy guess-how-many-people-I've-abducted van, so that should help some) 3.-would that even be something anyone would want or understand 4.-am I just a crazy person? Don't answer that. etc, etc, etc.

Substitute small liquor bottles, pens (who the hell would want pens?), pins, shot glasses (what's with the alcoholic theme?) god knows what else, and the same questions apply. Only now I'm the crazy lady handing out alcohol. Pretty sure someone's gonna have to bail me out of jail before my trip is over. Can someone teach me how to say "I swear it's a cultural misunderstanding officer."?

I saw a food travel show w/ Ken Hom going from town to town in China and on one of the stops was his hometown and he was passing out silver dollars or some kind of commemorative dolllar coin in little red envelopes, and he mentioned it was for good luck and fortune. I thought it was a great idea -small, good wishes, easy peasy. But then that's just money again isn't it? Not sure it would come across as thank you and I wish you good fortune or more like 'That cheapskate just gave me a dollar. A freakin' dollar!'

So please take pity, help advise the culturally inept. What small thoughtful/useful token that is NOT made in China could you think of? Any suggestions are welcomed. Thanks in advance! Cheers.

IMO comments;

- A NOT made in China gift tip might be the dried fruit, ie small Craisins package, then if your hungry you can also snack on them
- In Tier I and Tier 2 capitol cities on multi day stays at 'good' hotels, tip the head concierge 50 rmb on day 1, also the head EL staff 20 rmb on day 1.
- Taxi's only the few single rmb, if the fare is 47, then give him a 50 note.
-Outside food and bars, i do not tip, unless they light my cigar, then i tip 10rmb:)

I think they want cash.

The gifts you described are better suited for friends, family, business people.

As an American currently in China, I second this thought.

I have a Chinese wife and she lambasts me when I first brought up the notion of tipping over ten years ago. Part of the problem is, IMO, the Chinese know that it is in American or Western Culture to tip so they have no problem asking for it. Also, they appear to believe all Americans are wealthy beyond belief and a few RMB will not dent the wallet. These days though, there are more Chinese wealthy individuals than Americans and they have no problem not tipping.

Granted there are situations at Very upscale restaurants that you may feel inclined.

This is just my experiences.

Since you're a confectioner, there is one frequent poster in this forum that you should try to link up with when you're over here.

Thank you is enough. Most Chinese do not thank staff, so it will be different, although I'm not sure it will register. Gifts are for friends/ family/ business colleagues. Either don't tip (I recommend) or tip since your American conscience appears to dictate so, anything else is odd, and won't be appreciated imo.

tb

I appreciate your acknowledgement that this can be a sore subject on the forum, and also your humorous struggles to simultaneously ease your conscience while not completely turning Chinese culture on its head.

That said, handing out goodies really isn't necessary to service personnel that you have only a passing acquaintance with. In China it would be....well...weird. And handmade goodies may not be to Chinese tastes (though I am quite confident they would be to jiejie's taste :D ). Mementos and other more tangible gifts are given to business associates, friends, and family--in other words, some semblance of a "real" relationship. Just acknowledge service staff with a heartfelt greeting, thank you, smile, and nod of head. Giving them dignity as a person by looking in the eye and being courteous and kind will automatically catapult you over 98% of the Chinese guests and probably at least 90% of the foreign ones.

I think the operative word in your post was "conditioned" as in, you have been conditioned and that is perhaps what needs to be un-done, rather than invent new gift-giving strategies just to fit your own cultural programming. I assure you that "stink eye" by service personnel towards the customers with the expectation of extracting more cash is relatively uncommon in China.

If all else fails, tell the staff you are Australian, which will immediately lower any expectations of tips. :p

Thanks everybody! It's actually really helpful to get all the different tips/perspectives and actual experiences. Keep them coming.

Moondog, can you PM me which FT member that is? That would be great, maybe they have some must go/do things for cooks. Unless it's you Jiejie:D?

Most hotels that I've been to include a 10% service charge. I don't tip anywhere in Asia for normal service.

+1. Keep in mind that in China giving money or gifts doesn't convey appreciation necessarily. A lot of times it brings about warnings and causes fear because when you give gifts and money the Chinese person may associate you want something else than the service provided.

It's best to thank them, treat them with grace, and you can let their boss know they are doing a great job.

The service charges have very little to do with "service".

Never had a Chinese person run away in fear when I handed them cash.

They might want to fight over who pays for the dinner bill, but handing
out cash/gifts to someone who did something for you, has never been turned down. That would be downright stupid.

It's China. Behave accordingly. Sincere thank yous are enough so please don't contribute to the tipping "problem".

As someone who has lived in China for the past 6 years, in both Beijing and Shanghai, I would suggest this... Learn about the culture before you come. Tipping throughout Asia is not expected or required. Yes in some of the widely popualr tourist traps, Graet Wall, Peoples Square, Forbiden City, etc, the tour guides will ofcourse look for a tip, the westerners of course taught them that.

Regardless of the restaurant, tipping is not expected in China. Learn how to say thank you in Mandarin and I can assure you, that will be sufficient. You thowing around money as gratitude will make you look foolish. First of all, you may give it to the less senior staff member, which will make that person very uncomfortable.

Giving trinkets and gifts from your home country should be reserved for business associates, family, friends, etc, not Joe the waiter who served you Peking Duck.

This is a non tipping society, respect that and you will fit right in.