We spent three days in Hong Kong and it wasn't enough...one day at Disneyland, one day at Ocean Park...you can easily spend more time in Hong Kong.

The Sheraton.

doublepost, deleted

In order of bolding, some opinions:
1) I assume you meant the Grand Hyatt Beijing, not Tokyo? ;)
2) A long time in Shanghai. I'd personally cut it down to 4 nights. 2 days for Expo + other Shanghai city "sights," 1-day daytrip to Suzhou by train (get an early start), and 1-day daytrip to a water town by road (get early start). Add one day to Guilin/Yangshuo--see below--and one day to HKG.
3) Guilin is not the place to be. Best to use it as a transport connection only and head for the Yangshuo area. There won't be a Shangri-La there but there are some decent 3-4* level places--the ones outside the town are more peaceful and get better reviews. Deal with the Li River trip in Yangshuo, which is the area where the better scenery is anyway. The Guilin-Yangshuo by river and bus back-standard tourist boat with high price is the 2nd biggest river trap in China, (after the yangtze river cruise).
4) I thought the ferry from Shenzhen to Hong Kong town is no longer running, though the ferry from Shenzhen to HKG airport is. Check up on this for your time frame--when it ran, it was only a very few times per day and it didn't fit with everyone's schedule. Best bet from Shenzhen airport to Hong Kong (either Island or Kowloon side) is to take the bus from the airport, RMB 90 per person. In each arrival terminal, there is a row of kiosks before you head out the door, offering nice a/c bus service to various destinations--you want to use the one that goes through the Shenzhen Bay border crossing. Buses leave about every 20-30 minutes throughout the day. Takes about 1.5 hours including getting through border immigration/customs formalities, ending up at Kowloon metro station which is in a big mall. Taxi or metro from there. Details on the specifics of this process can be found/ provided in another thread, if you choose this method.
5) I'd stay in HKG entirely. If you run out of things to do in HKG (unlikely), then you can do a daytrip to Macau. I think the most productive daytrip to Macau is about 1/2 sightseeing, 1/2 in the casinos (whether to gawk or to gamble). Might not be appropriate if you have minor children with you though.
6) Unless you have a specific reason to do a 1-day stopover in Tokyo for visiting or business, I'd tend to skip it in favor of an extra day somewhere in China or HKG. If it's for purposes of breaking up the trip and taking a rest before the transpac, don't bother, it doesn't work.

I think you will find that this itinerary is very easy to do on your own, with some prebookings via online, and the rest arranged as you go, picking up local transport for local sights. You'll need to do some advance research on the details (lots of China-experienced FT'ers can help you, also some other good websites for DIY info). You will be glad you didn't sign up for the escorted tour.

I like your itinerary, I think you've come up with a good plan. some people, like jiejie think you should spend more time in HKG, for me 3 nights would be enough. It's really a matter of personal preference which city you'll find more of a connection to when you're there. I like Shanghai and Berlin, I started dating someone who liked Tokyo and London, I knew it would never work, it didn't. So, it's always hard to make this kind of recommendation.

For me, I'd take the time in Shanghai and do an overnight in Hangzhou (1hr by train from SHA) which I like better than Suzhou and do a day trip to Xiaoxing (45 min by train from Hangzhou) which I find more interesting than some of the water towns near SHA.

The area near Guilin is beautiful, the Li River cruise is great I spent one night in Guilin and a couple in Yangshuo. Spent a day cycling through the rice paddies. You could do one night each and take a taxi to the Guilin airport to fly out. Either way will be fine. Guilin itself is pretty heavily touristed though the views and river are iconic China. I hope the river is high enough to cruise all the way to Yangshuo.

Just remember not to brush your teeth with the tap water. And for the people who approach to sell you stuff, just say, bu yao, pron. boo y-ow, it means don't want.

If you want any restaurant recommendations, just let me know.

In any event, I think you've got a great itinerary and I hope you enjoy China as much as I do.

I also strongly prefer Hangzhou to Suzhou: better restaurants, more to do, a really nice lake, and an airport.

However, architects and people who are into gardens seem to have a soft spot for Suzhou.

Is that everywhere or only in certain areas?

There are some places where it's probably ok, like areas of Shanghai where they've put in new water supply lines though I don't use it anywhere just to be on the safe side. Some high end hotels purify the water that comes out of the tap and there's usually a sign in the bathroom to that effect.

Whilst I would never drink tap water unless it explicitely states it's good for that, I always use it to brush my teeth etc; regardless whether in Shanghai or small towns. Of course, if the water is brown, I wouldn't ;)

Never fallen ill from that (I assume), but of course YMMV.

Most people who have problems from tap water teeth brushing don't really get ill so much as have persistent intestinal discomfort and mild over activity.

Seeing Tokyo in one day will be tough! You will want to do the one day city tour that includes a trip to the 5th station on mount Fuji. There are a lot more interesting things in Tokyo. One day will be tough!

I guess one day is misleading.

I land at NRT on 9/3 at 3pm and take off to ORD on 9/4 at 415pm.

Wow! This is incredibly useful. My dad, who is from Shanghai but doesn't know much about travel or any of the local tricks from the last 30 years ;), was foisting one of these tour packages ("Smartour" or something like that) on me because it seemed like such a great deal to him. After reading all of this I'm starting to think it would have been on the low-end of experiences.

It depends on where you will be staying in Tokyo. NRT is quite far from the city and it’s safe to allow at least 1½ hour travel time, plus your usual time to check-in and security and immigration formalities.

I always use the Airport Limousine Bus when I travel to Tokyo and here’s the link:

http://www.limousinebus.co.jp/en/

Also, bring some disposable chopsticks with you in case if you go into a resturant that uses wood chopsticks instead of plastic chopsticks or disposable chopsticks. Wood chopsticks are like wood cutting blocks, it retains 'germs' in the wood grain even after it has been washed.