First Name/Nickname Basis with TSA strangers?
 

Hello,

I DESPISE it when the American screener checking my passport hands it back to me and says, "Have a nice day ... CATHY." First, I do not know this person and I resent the faux familiarity. Secondly, the name on my passport is CATHERINE and I do not need a condescending drone giving me an unwanted nickname.

Last names can be hard to pronounce, although is Asia people seem to be willing to give it a try. Why not address passengers as "Ma'am" or "Sir"? Can there be NO dignity or grace left in travel?

I realize this is a rather inconsequential little gripe, but I think it speaks to the larger issue of passengers being treated with no respect.

(Also I really, REALLY hate being called CATHY.)

Does this nickname thing happen to men as well, or is it a treat reserved for women?

This is a very American thing -- almost everyone is known by their first name and yes, it makes Asians and Europeans very uncomfortable.

You have about zero percent chance of changing this behavior.

So do "Davids" and "Roberts" get demoted to "Daves" and "Bobs"?

It's such an ugly habit, strangers addressing you with the same name that's used by intimates. I'm used to it in a business setting but from people like TSA screeners et cetera it is really too much, and the nickname pushes it into the realm of full-fledged offensive.

Yes, quite frequently.
Oh, then you're going to go ballistic when you meet the first Flight Attendant who says, "I'm Cindy, what's your first name?"

I very rarely go ballistic, and certainly not when someone introduces themselves to me. I do find it offensive when service workers make themselves free with my first name. I notice that these people are very often wearing tags that say "MISTER JONES" or whatever.

What you missed is the fact that everyone at TSA checkpoint covers their badges! This way you dont get to call them back by their first names. Or for that matter get to complain that XYZ at TSA checkpoint was obnoxious.

If they are so concerned about their privacy, how about doing the same?

It happens to everyone and it's becoming more common here. I personally don't see anything wrong with strangers calling me by my first name. I don't think it's a sign of disrespect either.

If they call you by the wrong nickname or name, you could simply correct them and they will most likely say the right one.

I admitted up front that it was a fairly inconsequential rant. I do notice, however, that when I check in (coach or business class), the attendants manage to avoid giving me a nickname and even go so far as to address me as "MS. LASTNAME," so it's hardly unheard of in American society.

>I don't think it's a sign of disrespect either.

But it is. If you were meeting the CEO of your company, or a very important client, or interviewing for a job, you would most likely initially address that person as Mr. or Ms. Why, if not to convey respect?

Of course, if TSA people knew much about interviewing techniques, they would probably have more desirable employment.

I must admit, I am completely confused by your response to what I posted. I blame myself, as it must be my fault, so please allow me to try again...

Welcome to FlyerTalk, BlueGirlGoes! This topic has been discussed at length, albeit more generally, in the Being Addressed By One’s First Name - Is This a Trend? thread.

Click on the bold blue type to access this thread.

Of course it happens to men, and welcome to FlyerTalk, CATHERINE!!!
I guess it should be Ms Lastname, but I can't see your passport from here. :D

[edit: Canarsie beat me to the welcome, it seems]

Thank you Canarsie,

I'm sorry, I didn't recognize it as a link.

I'll check out the other thread. It just seems like such a small thing, to add a level of respect and professionalism, to train TSA staff to address us by honorifics or not at all.

I've been in all three situations and I addressed the people by their first names. No problem! They didn't think I was being disrespectful.

Actually I prefer to be addressed by my first name (nickname at that), but YMMV. When I am addressed as Ms. or Mrs. Traveller, I look around for my mother-in-law. :D

Just kidding (sort of). And welcome to FT!

I'm a TSA screener at PHL and understand how you may feel it is disrespectful for a stranger to address you by your first name, but there are alot of people who don't feel this way and think of it as just a way of being friendly. I can think of a few incidents right away. There is a male passenger that comes through my checkpoint at least twice a week. He is a VP for BJ's Wholesale Club and lives in suburban Philadelphia, but his office is outside of Boston. We are all on a first name basis with him and always engage in conversation with him. We talk about the weather, sports, how our or his vacation was, etc. More than a couple of times other passengers have observed this and commented about how nice it was to witness someone having such a nice, friendly experience while trying navigate the checkpoint compared to the dull, tense, "move it along" scene usually witnessed. I usually just refer to people as sir or maam, but there are a few exceptions to that if I recognize the person as a frequent flyer or if the person addresses me by name. I guess it just depends on the person. Some find it disresectful, some think it's nice. When I was in high school, I worked at a restaurant and we were taught that it was good customer service to address repeat customers by name.

I don't like it either. It's rude to not only start off on a first name basis with a stranger, but to use a nickname, no less.

At most airports I fly through the screeners' badges are often hidden, but they usually seem to have little metal name-tags which say something like "ROBERT 10367" on them.

If you are offended by this practice and wish to respond in kind, perhaps you could start addressing the screener as "Mr. 10367" or better yet, "Unit 10367" :D

That's the point here. It seems that the OP was not a repeat customer and was, indeed, a random stranger. A certain degree of familiarity is to be expected, if not welcomed, when you see the same folks on a regular basis.

I stay at a certain Starwood hotel quite frequently and the front desk staff knows me by sight and name. It's still "good evening, (morning) Mr .... " I address them by first names (the name badges don't list last names, or I'd use them). Even though they could easily be my grown children, I do say 'sir/maam' just as a matter of course. I am on a first name basis with the GM and management people, but it took a while for them to deviate from the formal address policy.

Down south we tend to be friendly, and I'd be rather disappointed if the occasional 'hon' or 'babe' wasn't tossed out by a waitress :) A time and place for more personal forms of address is what seems to be the concern here. Be polite and you can't go wrong... at least that's how I was raised. (except when being a smarta**, which is allowable under the law, I think, maybe --- see 'Steel Magnolias' for more information)

People who address strangers by a first name read off of a document or a name tag always come off to me as sounding like cheesy used car salesmen and it instantly turns me off to that person and generates mistrust as I analyse ulerior motives. I do not aprove.

If anyone out there is in fact a cheesy used car salesman, this is not a good sales tactic.

Is it any different to the aged flight attendant on UA between NRT and JFK who insisted on calling me "love"? She finally stopped when I said she was reminding me of my grandmother whose 90th birthday I was on my way to celebrate....

I prefer strangers call me by my surname. My first name is for associates, coworkers, and friends. The disrespect comes from the implicit assumption that that stranger has the right or intimacy to use my first name; it's just polite to use a family name in 99% of cases if you don't know someone well.

In the airline industry, agents answering the phone always use my last name. Check-in agents 99% of the time use my last name. FAs 95% of the time use my last name, and GAs 95%+ of the time. This is just common courtesy, and I expect the same from the screeners (and, the few times they have had cause to use my name, I can say that most of the time they have indeed done so).

I view it this way: I practice law. Never in a million years would I try to solicit business from a potential client by addressing him by his first name, because it would mark me as a presumptuous ... who assumes a level of familiarity that does not exist. It's for the individual being addressed to say when that level of familiarity exists. It infuriates me that my firm demanded that we use first names on our biographies on the firm's web site, because in effect the firm is claiming that it is entitled to make the decision for us that people can call us by our first names. It annoyed me so much that I rewrote my bio to use the personal pronouns "he" and "his" instead of my name. If someone I've never met calls me and addresses me by my first name, it's usually a pretty good way for that person to have the phone hung up in their ear.

I recognize the nuisance for TSA types moving tons of people through the lines to seize on a name, but there is no reason for them to do so, last name or first name. "Sir" or "Ma'am" is entirely appropriate and universally recognized. If someone is a frequent traveller and comes to know the people at the checkpoint, then fine, a first-name basis is perfectly OK, as long as it is the traveller who makes that decision.

I concur with this--maybe it's the field in which I happen to work, but I have been on a first-name basis with the vast majority of my business contacts, whether on my level in an organization, above or below. Being addressed as "Mr. _____" tends to throw me for a loop in a business setting. Being addressed by my given name, and addressing others by theirs, establishes collegiality.

(OTOH, I don't sell used cars or practice law, and in those settings, I tend to favor the use of surnames. I am not seeking to establish collegiality with a car salesman.)

I'm with BNA Flyer. ^ If we're going to be discussing stuff and having extended conversations, then we're going to be calling each other by our first names (at least in the US). If we're at a counter, or a bar, or on the phone only - then I don't want to chat by first names, and there's probably no need for either of us to call each other by name at all.

Isn't it strange how so many people (inc me) have such strong opinions about this?

Sightly off topic for a moment -- if a screeners covers up their nametag with their first name and employee number, it's a violation of their SOP and you need to file a complaint and immediately speak to a supervisor. I had that happen to me a while ago when I confronted a screener who violated the Privacy Act by taking my boarding pass and writing down Privacy Act-protected personal information without advising me in writing (lots of posts onthis subject). My discussion of the Privacy Act elevated into a supervisor-level conversation. I watched out of the corner of my eye and when the screener dropped her guard and removed her hand from the front of her badge, I stopped, turned towards her and said "Gotcha!" and copied down her information for my complaint form. I turned back to the supervisor and told her that her subordinate had deliberately covered her badge and that I expectedher to be disciplined.

OK -- back on topic: Any TSA agent who takes the liberty to call a passenger by their first name during the conduct of screening is simply unprofessional -- pure & simple. Yes, I tell them that when it happens.

Robots trying to be human. :D

I'd rather be called by my first name than M'am.

I don't mind being addressed formally or informally by TSA as long as it is done politely. One has to recognize that TSA has different personalities in it's ranks just like every other organization and some are more informal than others.

I agree with you that it is a sign of disrespect.

I too have had TSA screeners look at my BP and address me by first name; usually an abbreviated version of my first name and to answer your ?, I'm male and it happens to me.

If they want to address me by name, it's "How are you doing today, Mr. Traveller", not "How you doing today, SDF".

Last time a TSA screener did this (he looked like he might have been 21 at most), I replied, "Sir, it's Mr. Traveler, thank you". :D -- the screeners face froze up - he didn't say a word, and then went onto his next victim.

No one else at the airport calls me by first name, be it the ticket agent or FA, it's always Mr. Traveler. If they want to be friendly and respectful, they can address me by my last name.

The only ones that call me by first name are friends, family, and close business acquaintances. When online, I'll sometimes go by first name, but it's a different enviornment.

SDF_Traveler

This is not common in New England and NY, which are part of America. Even among shopkeepers I know in the village center where I spend a lot of time in CT, I am Mr. <lastname>, not <firstname>.

That's great to hear, but was not my experience in Hartford today. Perhaps I was on the wrong side of the CT river?

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America, particularly in the West, is very informal re: names. I'm a litigation attorney and lawyers all address each other by first names, even if they've never met. I use last names in written correspondence because it's permanent, but orally, it's first names. In fact, I tell younger attorneys to call me by my first name because "Mr. X" sounds stuffy. America is becoming more and more informal as it's becoming more and more diverse. I actually think that's a good thing as it further breaks down class barriers, which have been falling for decades. I don't think the OP's point of view is wrong, but perhaps not realistic.

Mr. Bart,

First, I need to say that I have never, anywhere in the world, met a more polite crowd (including many alcohol-fueled teenagers) than I met at Fiesta in San Antonio.

My lawyer calls me "honey" and my accountant calls me "darlin" but I would (and have) eat the still-beating heart out of any total stranger who attempts to "flatter" me in a professional setting where they (ostensibly) hold some power over me. And I was raised in Memphis ... Sugar.

Solution:

Next time they say "Thanks Cathy" say "You're welcome Bob (or a female name)" when they say "That's not my name" say "Cathy isn't my name either..... It's Ms. Jones"

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Thanks for bringing this up – it is a cause I have championed for some time but I sometimes feel like a voice in the wilderness. Of course, I come from a time when the idea of calling one’s teacher by their first name was not only unheard of, but even hearing another adult address them that way seemed strange.

Calling someone by the name printed on their boarding pass is not just presumptuous; it is also very likely to not be a name that they use at all. My legal name is a first initial and middle name, which in and of itself causes no shortage of trouble and confusion. But that aside, no one who knows me would ever call me by my middle name (Charles) either. They would not do so twice anyway. I often have TSA screeners call me "Charles" which I find grating, and have even had them some of them call me "Charlie" (shiver) which is WAY worse. A stranger calling me Mister so-and-so (a common name that is, for whatever reason, completely unpronounceable below the Mason-Dixon line) at least gives me the option of saying "please, call me Chuck." Starting with the respectful position gives the other person the option to extend the familiar. But on the upside, it provides a great shibboleth to filter out presumptuous telemarketers. "Hello, Charles?" [click]. "Hello, Charlie?" [SLAM].

It’s not just at security of course. On a recent SWA flight, the gate agent made it a point of reading the first name of every passenger out loud as they handed over their boarding pass, and would say, for example, "Welcome aboard, Mildred" to a woman old enough to be his grandmother, and who is probably used to much more respect than that. Not everyone wants to have their name announced to everyone around them and it was clear by their expressions that many more people were made uncomfortable by this than were made to feel welcome.

Bart,
I tend to agree with you regarding formality and addressing people. It is nicer to err on the side of caution in most cases. I come from a scientific background - where I was on a first name basis with my advisor UNLESS we were in a more formal setting - like a class, or an exam, or a presentation setting. Curiously enough, I've worked with quite a few PhDs who refuse to be called by the proper "Dr. So-and-so". People are interesting...