Being "Literal" with TSA is fun
Apr 23, 2015, 4:55 am
#1
Original Poster
Join Date: May 2011
Programs: Delta Diamond Medallion 1MM, Hilton Diamond, Marriott Gold, National Car Executive Elite
Posts: 550
Being "Literal" with TSA is fun
Came through FNT this morning. Got the "random 'you've been randomly identified for screening'" beep from PreCheck WTMD. I sighed audibly and said something loud enough to hear.
TSO comes over and confirms my bags; apparently I'm to get a "random" bag check. He grabs my laptop bag and says , "grab your stuff and follow me." I replied, "that is my 'stuff' that you have." He stopped, thought for a moment, then said, "grab the rest of your stuff and follow me."
He says he's going to swab my bag and check it (doesn't say what he's checking for, of course). I said, "yeah, yeah, more stupid pet tricks."
He says, "the metal detector selected you for this screening, not us." I replied, "the metal detector is an inanimate object; it is incapable of selecting anything." He says, "didn't you hear that beep when you walked through?" I repeated my statement. He got a bit testy, but then left me alone.
When he came back and said all was ok, I replied, "wow, that really made a difference, didn't it." He walked away and we ended our encounter.
Another pax was in front of me in the PreCheck line; while checking his ID, the TSO said that "KDS" is behind you so the lane is definitely open (??). Guy turns to me and says, "it must be interesting that they know you by name." I replied, you should hear the stories as to why they know me; they're memorable ones.
Just another day of traveling under the bootheel of the blue-gloved agents of "freedom."
TSO comes over and confirms my bags; apparently I'm to get a "random" bag check. He grabs my laptop bag and says , "grab your stuff and follow me." I replied, "that is my 'stuff' that you have." He stopped, thought for a moment, then said, "grab the rest of your stuff and follow me."
He says he's going to swab my bag and check it (doesn't say what he's checking for, of course). I said, "yeah, yeah, more stupid pet tricks."
He says, "the metal detector selected you for this screening, not us." I replied, "the metal detector is an inanimate object; it is incapable of selecting anything." He says, "didn't you hear that beep when you walked through?" I repeated my statement. He got a bit testy, but then left me alone.
When he came back and said all was ok, I replied, "wow, that really made a difference, didn't it." He walked away and we ended our encounter.
Another pax was in front of me in the PreCheck line; while checking his ID, the TSO said that "KDS" is behind you so the lane is definitely open (??). Guy turns to me and says, "it must be interesting that they know you by name." I replied, you should hear the stories as to why they know me; they're memorable ones.
Just another day of traveling under the bootheel of the blue-gloved agents of "freedom."
Apr 23, 2015, 11:05 am
#3
Original Poster
Join Date: May 2011
Programs: Delta Diamond Medallion 1MM, Hilton Diamond, Marriott Gold, National Car Executive Elite
Posts: 550
Apr 23, 2015, 12:23 pm
#5
Original Poster
Join Date: May 2011
Programs: Delta Diamond Medallion 1MM, Hilton Diamond, Marriott Gold, National Car Executive Elite
Posts: 550
Perhaps we have a different opinion on how to profitably spend time, but I like to lighten things up now and then by posting about the TSA adventures we all get to have. Enjoy your travel.
Apr 23, 2015, 12:43 pm
#8
Original Poster
Join Date: May 2011
Programs: Delta Diamond Medallion 1MM, Hilton Diamond, Marriott Gold, National Car Executive Elite
Posts: 550
Apr 23, 2015, 12:45 pm
#9
Original Poster
Join Date: May 2011
Programs: Delta Diamond Medallion 1MM, Hilton Diamond, Marriott Gold, National Car Executive Elite
Posts: 550
Encouraging the use of proper, accurate language is a lost art for many. I believe communication should be clear and understandable. Many great comedy sketches and routines are based on literal language, so it can be enjoyable.
Apr 23, 2015, 1:01 pm
#12
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: on the path to perdition
Programs: Delta, United
Posts: 4,784
KDS I am with you on the literal language. Most people are pretty sloppy. My favorite is when someone asks if I have identification. My response is "Yes". Which is then usually followed by a long pause. Some get it, some do not.
Now who's at the gate? What.
Now who's at the gate? What.
Apr 23, 2015, 1:33 pm
#13
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: MCI
Programs: AA Gold 1MM, AS MVP, UA Silver, WN A-List, Marriott LT Titanium, HH Diamond
Posts: 52,565
I think there's a difference between requesting that the TSA be clear/concise in their direction and just outright being a jerk. Most of your comments had nothing to do with "being literal".
Somehow I don't think being a jerk is going to advance whatever cause you seem to have.
Somehow I don't think being a jerk is going to advance whatever cause you seem to have.
Apr 23, 2015, 1:54 pm
#14
Join Date: May 2009
Location: South Park, CO
Programs: Tegridy Elite
Posts: 5,678
He says, "the metal detector selected you for this screening, not us." I replied, "the metal detector is an inanimate object; it is incapable of selecting anything." He says, "didn't you hear that beep when you walked through?" I repeated my statement. He got a bit testy, but then left me alone.
Apr 23, 2015, 1:57 pm
#15
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: where the chile is hot
Programs: AA,RR,NW,Delta ,UA,CO
Posts: 41,668