Don't Yawn While at the Checkpoint
 

I am not vouching for the website but apparently they got access to the 92-point checklist the TSA uses to spot a terrorist. Apparently yawning at the checkpoint is one of those things that tip off the SPOTniks that the person might be "hiding" something or could be a terrorist.

Of course TSA had no comment. What a bunch of horse apples.

https://firstlook.org/theintercept/2...ot-terrorists/

Fantastic! Print the document out and take it to the airport with you. Then when you see someone exhibiting one of the behaviors, you can say something to the BD"O" who missed said behavior. :D

"Exaggerated yawning" What the heck is that? If I have
an early morning flight I may be guilty of this.

"Excessive complaints about the screening process" I never
complain on the way through. I always wait until I can log
into FT to launch into a complaint. :D

"Widely open staring eyes" Not unless I see something that
catches my undivided attention which rarely happens given
I'm old and have seen just about everything. :D

"Wearing improper attire for location" So, big deal... I arrive
in Canada wearing t-shirt, jeans and boots when it is 20
below and snowing out. I came from Texas! I will bring
my hat next time ok? :D

Don't look down? Then don't ask me to take my shoes off.

Whistling? Nothing like a little "Frere Jacques" before sneaking my shampoo through the checkpoint.

Grooming gestures? That's in lieu of showering, which I always feel a need to do after going through the checkpoint.

Just shaved? Roger that. No flying before noon.

Shall we continue?

Mike

I just used to go about my Business. Once I had a guy in a suit approach me, and ask where I was going. I said Chicago. He asked why. I told him that where I go when I leave ORD is no ones Business. That was the end of the Questions.

The Checklist: Are You On It?
 

Published here on FT as a public service. It's only two pages, so it would be easy to take with you. Remember to place it right on top of the bin when you are ordered to empty your pockets.

Heaven help you if you are:

Some tidbits:

But, you lose points if:
Nailing just two three-pointers gets you an interrogation by a cop.

It's clear to me that many of the items are non-terrorism law enforcement dragnet-type items and some are purely punitive in nature.

Large amount of cash, suspected unlawful drugs, numerous prepaid calling cards or cellphones, immigration status, outstanding warrants...

And, here's the smoking gun for the name game:

"Unfamiliar with passport/ID or ticket data"

And, there's a place to check whether or not the surveillance camera video is copied.

Of course, all of this presumes that the SPOTNik initiated an interrogation and the victim allowed him/herself to be interrogated in the first place.

Whistling???

I mean seriously...whistling???

Are these people demented?

http://www.politico.com/story/2015/0...rs-116455.html

http://www.nationaljournal.com/defen...rules-20150327

The *best* part is how so many contradict each or cover either aspect of a certain activity thus guaranteeing one will "score" points.

-knowing the info on your ID/ticket too much
-not knowing the info on your ID/ticket

-staring at the TSA
-avoiding eye contact with the TSA

-talking at the checkpoint
-being silent at the checkpoint

The list goes on and on.
It would be funny if it were not so sad...

Having an Almanac, prepaid calling cards, flight manuals, military manuals, GPS, and loose batteries. I, literally, have all of those in my carry-on bag nearly every trip...good times.

The American Tax Payer, and every person who flew within the US paid a billion dollars for this. I hope that makes you feel better.:rolleyes:

This looks like it came directly from Stasi "psychologists." Pseudoscience in a paranoid and oppressive setting. They should be embarrassed that this document even exists in a "democratic" country.

So it's an automatic referral to law enforcement if you blink too fast (subjectively) and don't make "direct" eye contact. Or if you blink too fast and whistle. Whistle? Really? Who wrote this? How did they quantify whistling as a "two-pointer?"

In what way are those signs of deception?

I have to wait another 25 years when I turn 65. Then I'll finally have the freedom to blink and whistle.

Have no fear... It's only 15 years if you are part of an:

I'm glad that neither...

• looks ashamed to be an American/taxpayer, nor
• laughs at clowns in blue clown suits

... are on the list.

What a friggin joke.

Luckily "bored witless" and "looking at TSA as though they are retards" is not on the list as I might be in a spot of bother.

I was finally able to print the list in order to read it. Oh, could one ever have fun with this at the airport. Buy a fully refundable ticket though, 'cause you're probably going to miss your flight. :cool:

Yes, whistling! It's a well-known terrorist technique, first brought to public attention in this country in 1951. Terrorists aren't uniformly brave and no one is brave all the time, so they are taught specialized techniques to reinforce their courage.

Whenever a terrorist feels afraid
He holds his head erect
And whistles a happy tune
So no one will suspect
He's afraid

While shivering in his shoes
He strikes a careless pose
And whistles a happy tune
And no one ever knows
He's afraid

The result of this deception
Is very strange to tell
For when a terrorist fools the people
I fear he fools himself as well

They make believe they're brave
And, tragically, the trick has taken them far
They may be as brave
As they make believe they are

They may be as brave
As they make believe they are

They whistle a happy tune
And every single time
The happiness in the tune
Convinces them that they're not afraid

They believe they're brave
And the trick will take them far
They may be as brave
As they make believe they are