FlyerTalk Forums

FlyerTalk Forums (
-   British Airways | Executive Club (
-   -   "Do you live in Surbiton?" (

The Lone Arranger Sep 30, 03 6:28 am

"Do you live in Surbiton?"

"Do you live in Surbiton?" will be my question to the CSD's on my 4 award longhaul flights in October.

Does anyone have a better line?
Has anyone else tried to identify Her in the Below Stairs Office?

Perhaps I can become a story in "Tales from the Galley"?


PUCCI GALORE Sep 30, 03 7:44 am

Darling, suppose we all said "No" and on a technicality I could do. We used tohave someone here who used to live in Villiers Road which is not far from me, and we used to swap notes about the place.

I will tell you this that a friend of mine, with whom I trained worked, as a Medical Secretary down in Guildford. She had a very persistent man down thelephone who had a wart or some other charming thing on a particualr part of his anatomy. He was told that he had to see a Doctor.

"You a Nurse?" he snapped from nowhere.

"Yes, I am actually" my friend replied thinking as she did that this was no a good thing to have said.

" can have a look at it, you'll know Nurses you've seen them things loads of time"

"No You must see a Doctor"

"No, you'll do, I'll come down and show you now"

"No, you must be examined by a Doctor"

"No, I'll bring it over, you'll be all right. You're no afraid nor nothing is yer?"

"No, but it is a Doc"

"Dont't give me that you seen them things loads of time and mine's better than most and it's clean. I know all about you Nurses you're all hard to get and then you..."

"Please see the Doctor" my friend kept saying

It was lunchtime and she was alone in the surgery, and she was afraid. He did come, and so did the police. I gather that the Policewoman constable was also invited to perfor, this task, and he ended up in handcuffs.

This is a long way around the dangers of answering too quickly!

Merry Sep 30, 03 7:59 am

I have no idea how you identify anyone from their "below stairs office", but that aside, if you have any luck, would you mind asking for some advice as to which hairspray is best to use on long-haul to minimise the dreaded bed-head look.

I am on 'L'oreal Elnett Satin Supreme Hold' at the moment, but I have been consistently dissapointed by the results.

Since they changed the can design of my old faithful 'Silvikrin Maximum', the spray tends to beg blocked-up at 30,000ft or even worse won't stop spitting out poison.

Last time this happend my temper got the better of me and I shouted out a very rude word. Sim is not allowing me to use Silvikrin anymore.

Anyway if you have any luck tracking down the weakest link presenter look-alike, please pose the question for me.


PUCCI GALORE Sep 30, 03 8:15 am

Darling, are you no longer talking to me? Is it something I said? Is it something that I did?

OK..Beauty tips. I actually have shortish hair so I really do not use a lot of hair spray. I buy all my products at the hair dresser so they are all salon strength. You need a decent hairbrush - Mason Pearson is the best. You need to use a shampoo that is not full of conditioner - they are rubbish and actually make the hair go an odd colour due to product build up.

Use a very light conditioner (spray from L'oreal which I cannot remember as I'm away on a trip) and use a good volumise. If you are like Him Indoors an making one hair do the work of 5 you should find that works. You bascally do not want static to build up and that will stop what's left of your hair looking like a wig from a Witch's cut-price fright-night shop.

I swear by products from Goldwell. Never use spray cans on board - get a pump action (you'll know all about that Choppa pet) container. I cannot tell you more as I will give you a Pucci secret. We have to lug so many beauty aids (you know eye-liner, shadow, mascara, Lourdes Water (we allneed a little magic sweetheart and somedays they do work miracles). I read in the Evening Standard about Superdrug selling little pots and bottles to put creams, shampoos, and spray stuff (conditioner) for about 50p each. They are so useful take up little space and weight and are just refilled on my return home. I wish that Dental floss came in a clear plastic container so that you can see how much is left! (Why don't they?), and the hygenist slips me samples of Colgate which means that I do not have to cart large toothpasts around.

Sim is not allowing me to use Silvikrin anymore.

Now, Merry Haddock my Angel, I know that you are naturally bashful (sorry I was interrupted by a flock of blue pigs flying past the window). Do you really do what Sim tells you?

Merry Sep 30, 03 8:33 am

Puc's: Many thanks, for most of the basics we actually have an account at Molton Brown (in fact Sim will be there on Thursday morning, as we are staying in town at the Hilton Park Lane tomorrow night) - I think the products are OK, but the shop staff are fantastic

I will take your advice to my barber (Carlos at the Savoy) and see what he says, of course Sim has Tony & Guys number programmed in his mobile.

There is no urgency, I am not doing anything long-haul for over a week, we are off to Deauville for the races (and the casino) on Friday and then Malta for the weekend (I just read about you I class fares, which are half the price I paid for Malta )

Can you tell I am making a concious effort to move this forum away from the recent nasty comments to the old fashioned rubbish we used to talk about?

The Lone Arranger Sep 30, 03 8:39 am

Dear Ms. Galore,

Aren't you interested in meeting any of us?
Or what are your criteria for answering to the Surbiton or eventual Hairbrush question?
Mrs. TLA (Tonto) and I have a few amusing and harmless BA stories of our own and we thought that meeting you, after reading you for so long would be a highlight of our remaining BA travels.

Perhaps you would feel more secure with air marshalls on board.

Till someday, somewhere!

alexwuk Sep 30, 03 8:47 am


I am frankly shocked and appalled.

How can a man of taste (as you undoubtedly are) have a barber at a Hotel???

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Might I suggest you pay a visit to Jermyn Street rather than the Strand next time?

And the Hilton, when the Four Seasons is next door?

And don't get me started on L'oreal....

Alex [As for my beauty theory - If it isn't Floris or Trumper, I won't use it]

Merry Sep 30, 03 9:21 am

I know... I know... I know...

I can't help it. Evening apperetif at Windows on the World; dinner at Trader Vic's; hair at the Savoy and lunch time drinkies at the Waldorf.

I know I should try harder and do better, but I just can't stand fussy white-glove treatment.

I like "Hello Mr Merry, there are some extra diet cola's in your room and we have take the liberty of booking you a table at 8.30pm if that is OK?".

I have tried I really have, I tried to build a relationship with the Dorchester, but it just didn't suit us. I do use the Ritz for some business stuff, but the lifts are to small and the telephones to complicated. I am to tempted to steal the decorations from the rooms (Park Lane corner-suite) at the Grosvenor House (also we got thrown out). I was thrown out of the decent Intercontinental. There is never room at the bar in Blake's. The County Hall Marriott is run by idiots and far to expenseive for what you get. The London Marriott is a cross between the American Embassy and a young offenders centre. The Waldorf is full of salesmen on a daytrip. There is to much cigar smoke at the Lanesborough. The Mandarin Oriental doesn't serve any of the Cognac's Sim Likes (Hennessy Paradis Extra at a push; Richard Hennessy is the preferred choice - we are very palsy with The Hon James H you know).

I could go on... but the Hilton, just does it for me. The bar is great, they know me, the restaurant is a dive and the clientelle are 'D' list at best.

But best of all our friend Lucy de Beer drinks there - a finer alcholic old slapper you couldn't wish to meet.

alexwuk Sep 30, 03 10:33 am

I'm surprised you thought the Inter-Conti was decent; personally I preferred the Mayfair Inter-Conti [RIP] (The fact that I was asked, totally out of the blue, by two different ladies to join them in their rooms for "drinks" on the same evening has got to be a plus point [Sadly I had to decline, ball and chain...]). How on earth did you manage to get Turfed out? It's not exactly like they have high standards...

If your heart is at the Hilton, there isn't much I can say (Apart from: 'Have you tried Browns?'). When I was temporarily homeless in April I didn't stay at the PL Hilton quite simply because they charged the same as Claridges!


PS. I thought the Grosvenor House was a dump [Again - how on earth did you get kicked out; the place is a hole]; although it can now claim infamy as a feature...

[This message has been edited by alexwuk (edited 09-30-2003).]

edi-traveller Sep 30, 03 10:57 am

<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by alexwuk:
PS. I thought the Grosvenor House was a dump [Again - how on earth did you get kicked out; the place is a hole]; although it can now claim infamy as a feature...
I agree - though I have never actually stayed the whole night there - I go to about 5 awards ceremonies there each year (next one on 23rd October) - and they are always late nights. They always hike the rates even higher on Awards nights.

I always prefer to walk back up Park Lane and stay at the Cumberland Grand - yes I know that this is an even bigger hole - but when I stay in a hole I like to pay hole prices.

[This message has been edited by edi-traveller (edited 09-30-2003).]

MatthewClement Sep 30, 03 10:58 am

<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by Merry:
Last time this happend my temper got the better of me and I shouted out a very rude word. Sim is not allowing me to use Silvikrin anymore.</font>
What did you say? WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Did you scream 'F*SH!'? Or was it even worse? Did you, in a fit of rage, scream 'upgr*de'?

Merry Sep 30, 03 11:03 am

We got thrown out of The Grosvenor, due to a slight altercation in the restaurant one night.

We were in Chez Nico, and they positioned our white wine about 300 yards away from the table. Now I like to be able to lay my hands on wine myself, I am quite able to pour a glass of wine when I have the urge, but get frsutrated when I am waiting for a waiter to do it for me (yet alone a stuck up vintner).

Anyway, I asked for the bottle to be moved next to or onto the table and they refused.

I was miffed, so asked for the Manager, who also refused and had clearly already decided we were not the kind of clientelle they wanted.

Then they took the food order and asked what I wanted to accompany my meat (I have no recolection of the type of meat), I said "chips". They said, and I quote, "would Sir like tomato sauce to go with that". I replied "sir would not" and ask for the Manager again.

Anyway things progressed and the place got busy... we ordered more wine and again asked for it to be near the table and were told "no" again.

No my dander was up.

A little while later I became aggitated at having waited 20 minutes to have an empty glass of wine refilled - the waiters had clearly decided to ignore us. So I got up minced across the restaurant and retrieved said bottle of wine.

All was well until the Manager came over to remove the wine, I made a defensive move and the bottle went flying across the table smashing a couple of glasses ang generally casuing more havoc than you would think possible.

At this stage the Manager said he thought it was best if we were to leave - clearly the inference was at once - which we did (the food was pants anyway), but just as we reached the door Sim decided to go back for the red wine (which had not falled victim to my lack of hand-eye coordination). He was blocked by the Manager and a waiter, which he did not appreciate and told in his loudest "to get out of his blasted way". They did, but they also called Security, who very kindly suggested we would be better off staying somewhere else.

Sim told them we would check out in the morning and wished them goodnight. Now that should have been the end of it, but as we were leaving the next day, we bumped into the Wicked witch of the West (aka Raine Spencer) just coming out of the hairdressers at the entrance. Now Sim knows said Countess as he one of the Spencer family seats Langton Hall (Bobby Spencers home, before he flogged it) is just up the road from our house (in fact we will be a the Langton Arms pub very shortly).

Anyhow, after some banter Raine invites us to join her at the bar, by which time the Hotel Manager has appeared and is positively gushing to his wigged and yet strangly bearded guest. Sim replies - more to the manager than Acid - that we are not welcome. We were assured we were most welcome and that he was sorry for any misunderstanding, drinks would of course be on the house.

We relented and drunk alot. We haven't been there since.

PUCCI GALORE Sep 30, 03 12:43 pm

Oh I know that old broiler Raine ever so well. I stopped the arrogant old slapper walking up from WT (for which she had paid) to use the CW lavs for which she had not.

I directed her back and she tried to pull the "you probably do not know who I am" in the tone usually reserved for an imbecilic foreign child.

I said "No I don't and in all honestly care even less Madam"

Merry Be Proud of me. I really thought that I had gone too far that time. I gather (wonder if it was one of you) that some man from CW heard the whole exchange, recognised the hair do and wrote in complimenting me for keeping the "pseudo aristo" riff-raff out of the cabin that he had paid good money for!

Lone Arranger. Yes, I truly would love to meet any of you. I am however very reserved about doing so, particularly in the light of recent and most unpleasant events on this Board. I am sure that you will find trillions of threads. This is not personal, it is my Garbo mentality.

steadman Sep 30, 03 2:18 pm


I only logged on to ask a question on cross London transfers for a BA flight itinerary from Los Angeles to Inverness.

Now I couldn't care less.


The Lone Arranger Sep 30, 03 2:55 pm

Dear P.G.,

We'll still try to identify you on board.

I wish I could discuss hair care products, but I havn't even needed a comb since I was in my 20's, let alone a hairbrush.


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 4:55 am.

This site is owned, operated, and maintained by MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Designated trademarks are the property of their respective owners.