What would a lawyer have done to resolve a customer service situation (which is what this is) that the customer couldn't accomplish for him/herself? And would it have been worth the fee?

OP: my two cents are that if the events occurred as you describe, this is not mere harassment - if I were in your shoes I would have demanded that the captain get involved immediately, and I would be focussing on the “criminal” word, not “compensation”. It is highly likely that if any other passenger had behaved this way, they would have been met by law enforcement upon arrival.

For those trivialising someone “trying to pour champagne into my wife’s mouth” as simply “spilling champagne on her”, I think you would feel differently if you were the wife finding herself and her child essentially being assaulted by a drunk stranger. If this individual was a BA employee, then I would be asking hard questions about how the heck BA allowed this to come about and would be holding them accountable.

A lawyer would do nothing nor be of any solution to the immediate problem at hand. I know that, and it's moot. A lawyer would be able to tell me on the phone what legal steps of recourse path there is moving forward.

I agree. This and that OP's wife would let so much of this go on and not wake the OP up at least, even if not contacting some cabin crew via a "bathroom" trip or something...

I say file a police report.

I know people who do and also refer to crew as stewardess although that last one is applied to both men and women equally.

Why didn't cabin crew do something about their disruptive colleague earlier, before the seat swap?

I'm surprised the baby has an iPad!

I think you’ve misread. I was just wondering if in general they would put a stranger next to a single traveller, no matter the gender. That would by extension avoid any cases where a female is made uncomfortable stuck next to a creepy guy. In any case, I don’t think it happens much as we don’t see many (any?) reports of this - again any gender. People always complain about the awkward staring at a stranger in old Club seats. I guess we’d see some if people got stuck next to drunken lager louts in the way back from Vegas.

I do wonder if the 6 upgraded crew were upgraded at the gate or if these were battlefield upgrades. If the latter and if this story really happened as told, then this is particularly outrageous that someone in that state would proactively be put next to a lady and a baby.

I think you are overestimating the time gate agents have to select seats for people who they’ve not even met.

Similar at check-in- long gone are the days of check in agents deciding where you sit- it is computer allocated. They can change it within sometimes (stand fast low loads for weight and balances), but they are unlikely to be proactively looking at the seat map and deciding where to seat you.

Ultimately, flying is public transport. There is no right to avoid sitting next to anyone of any gender or background. If someone is causing your distress, it is best highlighted to the CC who can take action if required.

I'm not estimating anything. And I'm not claiming any right to be seated or not to anyone. I am just wondering how the algo deals with these cases. I have a feeling that there is something going on and that when possible, they avoid putting 2 strangers together in middle seats. Otherwise we'd see more reports of weird situations. All this falls away when the old Club eventually disappears.

People have to go somewhere. If all the single window seats are taken, then single travellers are going have to go in the middle, aisle etc.

Altea for example generally seats single people away from others if it can. Flights will be prepped a day or two beforehand by a team leader or supervisor, and those on the same booking will be allocated seats together if they haven't chosen already (sometimes family members, with different names are on different bookings - no way to tell John Smith is married to Joanne Webster, so they're put in whatever free seats if they haven't chosen to sit together already).

Ultimately though, there comes a time when people are going to get put in the only free seats, and these will generally be middles (or back in steerage, you'll be next to a couple who have 22AB but an aisle isn't that bad)

Passengers can ask at check-in if anything better is available. Exit rows / legroom seats aren't always selectable at the airport or on the kiosks as they require an agent to verify you're fit and able bodied etc.
People do move around to better seats, grab windows etc. - first come first served.

Sometimes a Muslim woman may request to sit next to a woman rather than a man. The agent can check, although can't tell the passenger directly anything about their seat mate.

Occasionally people do get moved to accommodate others. Generally if an adult and child would be separated as 23B and 47C are the only two free seats.

Ryanair is set up to put people into middle seats if possible. Pay for one, or you're generally getting a middle. Once they're full, then you end up getting something better.

(years ago, on one of the 2 occasions I got upgraded from WT+ to CW, I was put in the middle of 3 seats in CW on the A380 - all that was left)

Forgive me but even with a question mark it would still be a statement.

How frustrating that results of any internal BA investigation must be kept 'confidential.' If the media were approached, a statement such as 'the individual no longer works for us' may be issued (if that was the case), which is more of an outcome than would happen if the matter was raised privately. Why should the outcome of any investigation be private?

Appalling situation OP and rightly I would want both a detailed investigation and outcome, as well as appropriate compensation due to the relative inaction of the onboard crew. Had it been a revenue or non-staff travel passenger, as many have pointed out, the action of the crew would have been most different I am sure.