DYKWIA | 2023 edition

Old Jan 2, 2023, 1:36 am
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Arrow DYKWIA | 2023 edition

This thread is a continuation of the ever popular DYKWIA | 2022 edition thread.

Airports are funny places. While they are increasingly designed to both complement and positively influence human behaviour, some of our fellow passengers do on occasion suffer a complete loss of composure and/or self awareness. This thread celebrates those amusing lapses of, well, lets call it social etiquette.

We also have a sister thread dedicated to our musings of the use of Executive Club baggage tags, fair or faux pas, which you can find here: BAEC luggage tags: practical utility or personal statement?
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Old Jan 2, 2023, 1:36 pm
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Ok Ill start with a possible one myself and Mrs Alllycat flew BA 2159 LGW-GND on New Years Eve. There were about 6-8 of us left in J after the stop in UVF and when we landed in GND Mr DYKWIA was up and ready for the race to immigration. Down the steps, across the tarmac and into the hall ready to take the straight line through the tensa barriers but found himself blocked by a member of staff pulling the barriers across to create a zigzag path instead. Cue the Victor Meldrew I dont believe it, its ridiculous comment from him and then he proceeds to duck under each tensa rather than walk a few extra yards having been sat down for almost 11 hours anyway. His (long suffering?) wife just did the zig zag like the rest of us and joined him at the immigration booth where he was even more annoyed by being asked to write his telephone number on the immigration form when it isnt asked for anyway! Which it wasnt, but everyone was being asked to write it in the margin by the nice local staff. Not sure what happened to him next but I got through my booth before he and his wife did. He didnt exhibit too much huffing and puffing while waiting 10 mins for bags to come through and then he was off. Except he had put away the carbon copy of the form which was required at customs exit, and he was FURTHER delayed by (and I am assuming his manner here from the huff and puff) yet another piece of unnecessary bureaucracy which he had to unpack from his bag. It was quite amusing all in all, and we still got out before him, feeling quite chilled in comparison
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Old Jan 2, 2023, 4:00 pm
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I did once try and duck under some tensa barriers (minus the huffing and puffing) only to lose my sunglasses and then step on them. It was an extremely inelegant move and I now dutifully zig zag down the tensa created pathway. However, the sub-tensa dive manoeuvre is still quite frequently practiced by other travellers in my experience.
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Old Jan 2, 2023, 4:18 pm
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Originally Posted by South London Bon Viveur
I did once try and duck under some tensa barriers (minus the huffing and puffing) only to lose my sunglasses and then step on them. It was an extremely inelegant move and I now dutifully zig zag down the tensa created pathway. However, the sub-tensa dive manoeuvre is still quite frequently practiced by other travellers in my experience.
I see the duck and scramble all the time, but always wonder why people don't just open the barriers, pass and close them. Its not like anyone ever bothers to lock them. This has always worked for me and I have never seen staff miffed by it either, tho I have never done directly in the face of someone setting up the barriers.
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Old Jan 3, 2023, 12:46 am
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I myself have perfected using the barriers to practice my limbo move versus the crouch and duck maneuver....still young enough to do so but not for long..may be relegated to the mouse maze soon enough.
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Old Jan 3, 2023, 5:38 am
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my first flight of the year and something almost approaching DYKWIA - travelling alone with two young kids, in Club Europe - the gate agent doesnt do the usual family boarding call (they often dont on this route as its half the flight travelling with kids) - but they call Group 1 (which includes us) so we gently make our way up to the gate when they call that, past the usual assembled gate loiterers - one of whom just barks Group 1 fairly aggressively as we go past - to which I just said yes, then we board. Turns out he boarded much later anyway, so all very weird as to why he wanted to enforce the groups on BAs behalf in the first place
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Old Jan 5, 2023, 9:48 am
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Just had my first, that I can recall, DEKWWA (Does EVERYONE Know Who We Are) experience.
Arriving into the lounge in Dublin, doing my usual of finding the darkest, quietest spot available. My hatred of phones not on silent is something I'm unable to describe with words, but this is my reason for avoiding everyone. I digress.

Enjoyed a nice 5-7 minutes of thoughtful quiet before a middle-aged couple take the table next to mine. Both phones with audible text alerts and ringtones set (this became apparent within the first 3 minutes of their arrival. VERY apparent).
Lady receives a call which I could hear the person on the other end from approx 2 metres away. She obviously couldn't, so then set it to full blast loudspeaker. I didn't mean to, but I instinctively shot her a cold glance which I immediately felt bad for. I felt even worse when the person on the other end then said "well Happy Birthday" to my new neighbour. For that, I genuinely do feel bad. Sorry to you if you're reading this.
Anyway, that call ends and then more people arrive to 'my' corner.
I took an exploratory walk to the other end of the lounge to assess for a peaceful zone and, to my surprise, found plenty of, albeit less comfy, seats. I then moved to that end of the lounge.

The above is all irrelevant to this thread, just purely so you know my tolerance isn't quite what it could've been by the time the DEKWWA arrives.

So I'm enjoying more alone time and people come along to the table I'm now sat at.
Immediately, I wonder if they work inside a jet engine as they both insist on shout-talking at a volume completely unsuitable for human consumption.
Man dashes to get his lady a wine from the bar. A flamboyant "CHEERS" and I think "they'll settle down shortly.
A few minutes of, what i considered, awkward conversation about the trip they've just been on and then back to reality - discussion about work and what they'll do once they get back home. Neither accent was southern, but not knowing the BA routes available from Dublin, my fear was escalating that they would be on my flight to Heathrow.
Then things got really bad. First was him going over to the food counter to appraise the options avilable. This followed by, from at least 12m away, "DO YOU WANT SOME FOOD? REMEMBER WE'LL BE FED ON THE FLIGHT - WE'RE FLYING CLUB". ​​​Lady politely declines.
Man returns with food, plonks it down and the riveting conversation resumes.
Lady details that she has a 3 hour hair appointment tomorrow (I have no idea if that's a boast or not. My barber takes 10 minutes) and he can borrow the car to "pick up his parcel". This hair appointment is necessary because "I have a VIP meeting tomorrow".
Man then humbly accepts use of car.

Things go on, always at a decibel level akin to Woodstock.
After the mention of a multitude of different expenditures, man says one thing Lady can do is "no more 50 grand cars for teenagers". Lady replies "well I don't have any more teenagers now". This was the first time I felt any fondness to either of them, as that 'matter of fact' response, completely missing the point he was raising, amused me mildly. This fondness soon passed.

I should stress I had no intention of posting about them at this point. Some people have insecurities about different things and, if it makes them feel better about themselves, boast all you want. It doesn't harm me, unless you count cringing as harm.

But then!
I walk to the gate, enjoying the (relative to the lounge) peace and quiet of the terminal and all the security announcements. This is the best 5 minutes I've had a for a while, at this point.

I arrive to a very poorly policed gate, with the priority line already queued out to the main walkway. As a result, staff were escorting passengers with young children around both lanes as they couldn't access either.
I stand back, thinking I'll just see how it develops. I am group 1 (DYKWIA?). Row 2, and only a backpack, so no need for an overhead, therefore no rush for me to board.
As i join the line, a confused looking, non-english speaking man stops me to ask for help "do i go now?" or something along those lines. I stop, momentarily, to help him identify his group number. Group 7. He nods a thankyou and I'm about to say "no problem" when a giant mass appears in the corner of my eye screaming "SORRY GUYS" and barging by me. I recognised the ear-pain immediately as Mr Brag from the lounge, and thought (and this is the censored version) 'get to foxtrot'. So i made myself wide, preventing Mrs Brag from getting by me and catching up with him.
He shouts back "WHERE'S THE PASSPORTS?" and, much to my delight, she "thinks" she has them.
Mr Brag chooses his gate agent as the left one and, knowing Mrs Brag doesn't have herself organised, I choose the right hand gate agent. And 10 seconds later, I take my rightful position in line - 1 place ahead of them! Finally, my day turns to a positive one!

All passengers are then held on the stairs for about 3 minutes, during which time Mr Brag complains that it's "bloody ridiculous" that we are being held, then moves onto complaining that "69 Euro a bottle wine isn't the standard I'd expect in the hotels we stay in".

Then on the stairs to board the aircraft, they argue over who should pay for this trip - "I'll pay", "No, I'LL pay" etc. Then Mr Brag says "well, if you want to help, you could loan me money to help clear my overdraft". Unbelievable.

They then board and start talking about someone they know, saying "god knows how he got that job - he doesn't even have an education".
They're still putting the world, below them, to rights as I type this. I will post later in case they are FT users and beat me up at T5, though I seriously doubt it.

Anyway, their mission was accomplished - everyone in that lounge DOES know who they are now.
I'm still torn if I want another DYKWIA, or whether that's enough for me now. But just in case anyone was worried behaviour had improved, I thought I'd share with you all.

Happy New Year.
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Old Jan 5, 2023, 10:33 am
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[QUOTE=FT01;34895453]Just had my first, that I can recall, DEKWWA (Does EVERYONE Know Who We Are) experience.
Immediately, I wonder if they work inside a jet engine as they both insist on shout-talking at a volume completely unsuitable for human consumption.

I believe the correct term for said volume is "loud enough to blow the froth off a Horlicks two tables away"

RIP Victoria Wood!
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Old Jan 5, 2023, 11:46 am
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Originally Posted by FT01
Then things got really bad. First was him going over to the food counter to appraise the options avilable. This followed by, from at least 12m away, "DO YOU WANT SOME FOOD? REMEMBER WE'LL BE FED ON THE FLIGHT - WE'RE FLYING CLUB". ​​​Lady politely declines.
The sheer size of this post made me leave at first, but I came back to it as I had some time and enjoyed it thoroughly. Very good.

When you are based in North America you hear a lot of DYKWIA on loudspeaker, but it is never as enjoyable as the ol' English (typically failed) attempt of the subtle/humble DYKWIA. I think it's because I feel I can give them some backstory from the accent, dress and tone whereas in the US they're mostly the same to me.
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Old Jan 5, 2023, 11:56 am
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Nothing too juicy here....

On a flight back from YYZ recently, the person across the aisle was constantly letting the crew know that they ALWAYS flew first on this route, and could they go and sit up in the empty first cabin, as they ALWAYS flew first on this route, blah blah blah...

Of course, the answer from the crew was no, sorry, that cabin is closed on this flight. But that didn't stop them from trying the metaphorical hang up and call again with different members of crew.

The crew didn't let on that they were getting a bit fed up with them, as they were too professional. However they were definitely a lot warmer towards me than them, as I was happy just to be served dinner and left alone! Where as the DYKWIA was pestering them for virtually the whole flight.
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Old Jan 6, 2023, 2:39 am
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I very much enjoyed post number 7. I can assure the poster that Mr and Mrs Brag are not FT'ers because if they were I doubt any of them would have been so confident as to utter the words "DO YOU WANT SOME FOOD? REMEMBER WE'LL BE FED ON THE FLIGHT - WE'RE FLYING CLUB"
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Old Jan 7, 2023, 4:36 am
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Ah, first DYKWIA of 2023 for me - nothing quite like someone sweeping past the 20+ people in groups 1-3 queue for boarding (through the empty groups 4+ queue) by saying theyre group 1 and being waved through

BA, consistently inconsistent - a core brand value!
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Old Jan 7, 2023, 4:41 am
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Originally Posted by South London Bon Viveur
I did once try and duck under some tensa barriers (minus the huffing and puffing) only to lose my sunglasses and then step on them. It was an extremely inelegant move and I now dutifully zig zag down the tensa created pathway. However, the sub-tensa dive manoeuvre is still quite frequently practiced by other travellers in my experience.
I dont think thats DYKWIA behaviour without the chuntering - although I did do that once in an immigration hall and got a telling off (which I took without complaint) so Im not unbiased. I think I was being selfless, by getting through the empty tensa barriers zig zag quicker I was helping everybody behind me by about 10 seconds, almost an hour saved collectively! I should have got a medal

(I will now remove my tongue from my cheek)
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Old Jan 7, 2023, 7:14 am
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Originally Posted by lorcancoyle
Ah, first DYKWIA of 2023 for me - nothing quite like someone sweeping past the 20+ people in groups 1-3 queue for boarding (through the empty groups 4+ queue) by saying theyre group 1 and being waved through

BA, consistently inconsistent - a core brand value!
I did see the group 1-3 queue at a standstill at ABZ the other day as the first 3+ people in the queue were 'group 3' (overheard the discussion) as they were boarding group one so I shot round the outside to the two gate agents who were free and popped through.

Hoping this isn't a DYKWIA moment...

CB
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Old Jan 7, 2023, 7:50 am
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Originally Posted by lorcancoyle
Ah, first DYKWIA of 2023 for me - nothing quite like someone sweeping past the 20+ people in groups 1-3 queue for boarding (through the empty groups 4+ queue) by saying theyre group 1 and being waved through

BA, consistently inconsistent - a core brand value!
I'm assuming it wasn't you doing the Q jump being in group 0.5 :-)
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