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Lighthearted stress-relieving thread (loosely BA connected ...)

Lighthearted stress-relieving thread (loosely BA connected ...)

Old Mar 17, 20, 5:23 am
  #1  
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Lighthearted stress-relieving thread (loosely BA connected ...)

I hope that the mods will show some flexibility and allow a thread aimed at relieving some of the current stresses, which may be particularly welcomed by those who are self-isolating rather than enjoying their usual daily round of munching on BA bacon butties, waiting for delayed flights all round the world, queuing at security, etc. etc.

The thought for this thread was prompted by trying to log into my Ocado account today and finding that I was in a queue to access the website (that's no longer a novelty) and that I was number 3655 in a queue of 3655, with an estimated wait time of over an hour (which certainly is new today). When I finally got onto the website and started filling my basket, the website simply crashed and became wholly inaccessible before I could check out. For the frequent ba.com user, this latter part is certain not a novelty !

Is the queue to access a website now going to become a feature of future life, soon to be adopted by BA as an 'enhancement' to it's customer service ?

Maybe BA should consider adopting the simple add-on of giving position in the queue and estimated wait time for its existing call queuing system, and at the same time then adding other related functionality: "Good morning, you are number 15,893. in a queue of 16,745 and your estimated wait time is now only 224 minutes. Recent enhancements to our call waiting service mean that we can now not only tell you your position in the queue but can offer you a choice of entertainment while you wait. If you have never previously called and still find listening to the Flower Duet a pleasant novelty, please press 1. If you are heartily sick of listening to our usual musical offering and want to listen to some ear splitting rock music please press 2. To listen to Alex Cruz telling you about BA's latest "enhancements" to BA's service offerings press 3.. For [ ***** ] please press 4 ..... "

***** = TBC

Not my greatest ever post, but hopefully something to get the ball rolling in these bleak times ...
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Old Mar 17, 20, 5:36 am
  #2  
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
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Originally Posted by Frequentflyer99 View Post
I hope that the mods will show some flexibility and allow a thread aimed at relieving some of the current stresses, which may be particularly welcomed by those who are self-isolating rather than enjoying their usual daily round of munching on BA bacon butties, waiting for delayed flights all round the world, queuing at security, etc. etc.

The thought for this thread was prompted by trying to log into my Ocado account today and finding that I was in a queue to access the website (that's no longer a novelty) and that I was number 3655 in a queue of 3655, with an estimated wait time of over an hour (which certainly is new today). When I finally got onto the website and started filling my basket, the website simply crashed and became wholly inaccessible before I could check out. For the frequent ba.com user, this latter part is certain not a novelty !

Is the queue to access a website now going to become a feature of future life, soon to be adopted by BA as an 'enhancement' to it's customer service ?

Maybe BA should consider adopting the simple add-on of giving position in the queue and estimated wait time for its existing call queuing system, and at the same time then adding other related functionality: "Good morning, you are number 15,893. in a queue of 16,745 and your estimated wait time is now only 224 minutes. Recent enhancements to our call waiting service mean that we can now not only tell you your position in the queue but can offer you a choice of entertainment while you wait. If you have never previously called and still find listening to the Flower Duet a pleasant novelty, please press 1. If you are heartily sick of listening to our usual musical offering and want to listen to some ear splitting rock music please press 2. To listen to Alex Cruz telling you about BA's latest "enhancements" to BA's service offerings press 3.. For [ ***** ] please press 4 ..... "

***** = TBC

Not my greatest ever post, but hopefully something to get the ball rolling in these bleak times ...
Please press 4 to listen to cabin crew currently on unpaid leave b***h about their worst DYKWIA passenger.
ML

Last edited by Mountlodge; Mar 17, 20 at 5:37 am Reason: Use of profanity
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Old Mar 17, 20, 5:37 am
  #3  
 
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Love the idea for the thread, anything to lighten the mood is welcome.

For your specific suggestion and in a style I’m sure FT will appreciate, this is not actually something BA can do, for the simple reason that FT-style DYKWIA types exist. So if there’s a queue of 1000 plebs and a Gold calls in, their call will be prioritised and pushed higher in the queue. So BA doesn’t want to give queue call placements or estimated waits, as these could go down/up respectively.
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Old Mar 17, 20, 6:21 am
  #4  
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I think they should post information online when calling in with a slowly read verbal poem.

If your a Prem, your the creme de la creme, so you wont have to wait at all

If you're a GGL, you won't have to wait either, so please just give us a call

If you're a plain Goldie, for a bit you'll have to wait, but we appreciate that the short holding times, might make you irate!

If your a Silver, your not that valuable to us , so please don't rant and make your usual fuss

If your a Bronze, we'll try and do our best, and you'll have to be patient as we created that tier in jest

If your a Blue then you have few rights, so please spend some money on us, to reach new dizzy heights!




If that made even one FTr laugh, smile or smirk in these dire sad times then I will be happy at that, Stay safe folks
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Old Mar 17, 20, 6:25 am
  #5  
 
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OK, I'll join in with a good news bad news story. Bad news, big holiday to India now off, not sure what we'll get back. Living in France we are now in lockdown aka house arrest from 12 mid day. Only allowed out for special 'essential' circumstances and while clutching an official form.
Good news - all wine merchants are deemed to be essential - so can stay open......... Another glass anyone?
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Old Mar 17, 20, 6:42 am
  #6  
 
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Originally Posted by Frequentflyer99 View Post
Maybe BA should consider adopting the simple add-on of giving position in the queue and estimated wait time for its existing call queuing system, and at the same time then adding other related functionality: "Good morning, you are number 15,893. in a queue of 16,745 and your estimated wait time is now only 224 minutes. Recent enhancements to our call waiting service mean that we can now not only tell you your position in the queue but can offer you a choice of entertainment while you wait. If you have never previously called and still find listening to the Flower Duet a pleasant novelty, please press 1. If you are heartily sick of listening to our usual musical offering and want to listen to some ear splitting rock music please press 2. To listen to Alex Cruz telling you about BA's latest "enhancements" to BA's service offerings press 3.. For [ ***** ] please press 4 ..... "

***** = TBC

Not my greatest ever post, but hopefully something to get the ball rolling in these bleak times ...
I feel like this is missing some possible BA enhancements. Such as;
Press 1 - to speak to someone straight away (£XXX or XXXXX avios)
Press 2 - to speak to someone soon (£XX or XXX avios)
Press 3 - to speak to someone possibly (£X or XX avios)
Press 4 - and we might get round to speaking to you

Obviously there would be options of POUG PTUG your position at any random point while listening to music, and prices for customisation such as other music.
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Old Mar 17, 20, 7:05 am
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Originally Posted by Akoz View Post
I feel like this is missing some possible BA enhancements. Such as;
Press 1 - to speak to someone straight away (£XXX or XXXXX avios) OR One case of Toilet paper
Press 2 - to speak to someone soon (£XX or XXX avios) Or 6 rolls of Toilet Paper
Press 3 - to speak to someone possibly (£X or XX avios) Or Two Rolls of Toilet Paper
Press 4 - and we might get round to speaking to you

Obviously there would be options of POUG PTUG your position at any random point while listening to music, and prices for customisation such as other music.
Remember whats's important in this New Era; it ain't money or Avios .
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Old Mar 17, 20, 7:11 am
  #8  
 
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Originally Posted by flyingoldie View Post
OK, I'll join in with a good news bad news story. Bad news, big holiday to India now off, not sure what we'll get back. Living in France we are now in lockdown aka house arrest from 12 mid day. Only allowed out for special 'essential' circumstances and while clutching an official form.
Good news - all wine merchants are deemed to be essential - so can stay open......... Another glass anyone?
Brilliant - got to love the French
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Old Mar 17, 20, 7:11 am
  #9  
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Old Mar 17, 20, 7:34 am
  #10  
 
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Maybe we could amuse you by playing instead of the "lovely" music a bunch of the best calls the lads and lasses have to put up with including the unedited version of what's said hen the customers are on hold or mute 🤣
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Old Mar 17, 20, 8:22 am
  #11  
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Originally Posted by Hawk777 View Post
Maybe we could amuse you by playing instead of the "lovely" music a bunch of the best calls the lads and lasses have to put up with including the unedited version of what's said hen the customers are on hold or mute 🤣
I'm sure you could write a best selling anonymised book with what's been going on.

Everyone here is so appreciative of what your helping with as best as you can and in no doubt very trying circumstances and double shifts, working on rest days etc so If you are ever able to attend any Flyertalk Do then I can say with confidence you won't have to put your hand in your pocket to buy any drink. Thank you, CWS and all the other immensely helpful posters.
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Old Mar 17, 20, 8:26 am
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Originally Posted by PETER01 View Post
I'm sure you could write a best selling anonymised book with what's been going on.

Everyone here is so appreciative of what your helping with as best as you can and in no doubt very trying circumstances and double shifts, working on rest days etc so If you are ever able to attend any Flyertalk Do then I can say with confidence you won't have to put your hand in your pocket to buy any drink. Thank you, CWS and all the other immensely helpful posters.
That means any one of us could turn up and say we are Hawk777. Hmmm... free drinks....hmmmm.
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Old Mar 17, 20, 8:29 am
  #13  
 
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Originally Posted by Hawk777 View Post
Maybe we could amuse you by playing instead of the "lovely" music a bunch of the best calls the lads and lasses have to put up with including the unedited version of what's said hen the customers are on hold or mute 🤣
Seriously I do hope that people are being pleasant when speaking to you and your colleagues on the other end of the line trying your best to do something for them. It can't be easy dealing with the multiple queries and frustrated customers. I do hope WW and AC appreciate your hard work.
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Old Mar 17, 20, 8:32 am
  #14  
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Originally Posted by PAL62V View Post
That means any one of us could turn up and say we are Hawk777. Hmmm... free drinks....hmmmm.
They'll be sent to Coventry if they did!
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Old Mar 17, 20, 8:36 am
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Originally Posted by PETER01 View Post
They'll be sent to Coventry if they did!
Is that a new BA service and from which terminal at LHR will it operate?
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