Funny pilot PA

Old Jul 2, 19, 8:45 am
  #1  
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Funny pilot PA

I had a quiet giggle when the first officer said "thank you for staying with us for [xx] hours". I was surprised no one laughed out loud but as if we had a choice not to

The number of hours has been [xx]ed to protect the guilty.
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Old Jul 2, 19, 9:43 am
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Originally Posted by LTN Phobia View Post
I had a quiet giggle when the first officer said "thank you for staying with us for [xx] hours". I was surprised no one laughed out loud but as if we had a choice not to

The number of hours has been [xx]ed to protect the guilty.
Perhaps no-one else was listening
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Old Jul 2, 19, 3:18 pm
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Posted before, but est I ever heard on BA was a few years ago now when coming into LHR from the East (so overflying the city). It went:

"Ladies and gentlemen, those of you seated on the right will be able to see quite a few sights including the Thames Barrier, Tower Bridge, Canary Wharf, St Pauls Cathedral, Big Ben and Buckingham Palace". Short pause before, "those of you on the left will be able to see Croydon...........but thankfully only from a distance"

Great stuff ^
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Old Jul 2, 19, 3:23 pm
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Originally Posted by BOH View Post
Posted before, but est I ever heard on BA was a few years ago now when coming into LHR from the East (so overflying the city). It went:

"Ladies and gentlemen, those of you seated on the right will be able to see quite a few sights including the Thames Barrier, Tower Bridge, Canary Wharf, St Pauls Cathedral, Big Ben and Buckingham Palace". Short pause before, "those of you on the left will be able to see Croydon...........but thankfully only from a distance"

Great stuff ^
Iím surprised that didnít provoke a new thread entitled ĎBA pilot unnecessarily rude about south Londoní
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Old Jul 2, 19, 3:37 pm
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Originally Posted by BOH View Post
Posted before, but est I ever heard on BA was a few years ago now when coming into LHR from the East (so overflying the city). It went:

"Ladies and gentlemen, those of you seated on the right will be able to see quite a few sights including the Thames Barrier, Tower Bridge, Canary Wharf, St Pauls Cathedral, Big Ben and Buckingham Palace". Short pause before, "those of you on the left will be able to see Croydon...........but thankfully only from a distance"

Great stuff ^
Genius!

My two highlights were a chirpy 767 pilot on a BA456 some years ago who, after having given the spiel on the number of miles separating us from MAD, the feet of cruising altitude and the knots of speed then proceeded to say "And if you're feeling particularly metric today..." and translated everything in the decimal system.

Another skipper, upon landing on a very wet day in London from Narita, said the following: "Welcome to a summer's day in London, distinguishable from a winter day because the rain is ever so slightly warm".
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Old Jul 2, 19, 3:58 pm
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There is a BA pilot at LGW that makes all his announcement in the poshest possible public school type accent, have been on a flight a few times and never quite worked out whether it is real or put on for the benefit of pax.

On a flight with a technical delay about 6 months ago, his explanation of the problem and what was to happen were hilarious with the failed system being described as "a very, very naughty box of tricks up at the pointy end that hasn't quite woken up yet", the Engineers on the way to fix it were called, "those clever boffins from BA's very clever boffin department" and when it was fixed but we had lost the slot the ATC folks were called, "the lovely people who point us where we want to go and not at any other aircraft"

I haven't done his announcement justice and there were many more quips describing this one delay...all delivered in a very posh accent.
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Last edited by BOH; Jul 2, 19 at 4:03 pm
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Old Jul 2, 19, 4:06 pm
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V good, but (probably at least) 20 years ago the CSD on a JFK-LHR sector asked all passengers to pay particular attention to the safety briefing to be given by one of his poshest colleagues as it contained a deliberate mistake. As a good northern boy I was not surprised when he subsequently announced that it was a raft not raaft.
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Old Jul 2, 19, 4:08 pm
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Originally Posted by ScruttonStreet View Post

Iím surprised that didnít provoke a new thread entitled ĎBA pilot unnecessarily rude about south Londoní
Being rude about Sarf London is never unnecessary.
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Old Jul 2, 19, 4:09 pm
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Not BA, sadly, but on easyJet one time shortly before landing at Luton , a member of the cabin crew said something like

ďPlease remain in your seats until the seat belt signs have been turned off. We have a very tight turnaround at Luton today before our next flight, so would appreciate it if you could take any rubbish with you. Alternatively, you may volunteer to help us clean the plane by standing up before the seatbelt sign has been turned offĒ

It worked very well...
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Old Jul 2, 19, 5:05 pm
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Not on BA but a few years back flying Thomson to ACE. The FO decided to give the cabin a very detailed history of the 757 we were flying on (G-CPEV) itís brief time with BA/Air2000 and itís make/model of the engines and their thrust capabilities.

To say its itís one of the very few PAís I have enjoyed listening to.
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Old Jul 2, 19, 5:08 pm
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Originally Posted by ScruttonStreet View Post


Iím surprised that didnít provoke a new thread entitled ĎBA pilot unnecessarily rude about south Londoní
As a native Ďsowf lundennerí (it is only called sarf by newbies ). I canít think of any plus points to Croydon apart from the old airport....
<ducks for cover>
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Old Jul 3, 19, 1:52 am
  #12  
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Originally Posted by BOH View Post
There is a BA pilot at LGW that makes all his announcement in the poshest possible public school type accent, have been on a flight a few times and never quite worked out whether it is real or put on for the benefit of pax.

On a flight with a technical delay about 6 months ago, his explanation of the problem and what was to happen were hilarious with the failed system being described as "a very, very naughty box of tricks up at the pointy end that hasn't quite woken up yet", the Engineers on the way to fix it were called, "those clever boffins from BA's very clever boffin department" and when it was fixed but we had lost the slot the ATC folks were called, "the lovely people who point us where we want to go and not at any other aircraft"

I haven't done his announcement justice and there were many more quips describing this one delay...all delivered in a very posh accent.
He is something of a legend at LGW. I have never got the sense that he is putting it on - he is genuinely funny as well.
I had wondered if he had retired, as he used to pop up regularly on the JER run, but I havenít encountered him for a while.
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Old Jul 3, 19, 2:50 am
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Appealing for Comic Relief fund pilot asks "If you have the odd bent copper, or you know one".
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Old Jul 3, 19, 3:37 am
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A couple of years ago, prior to a departure from 27R, the BA captain explained that he would be taking a sharp right turn after takeoff to avoid flying over Windsor Castle. He said ďthe residents prefer it that way!Ē
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Old Jul 3, 19, 3:38 am
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A few years back I was on approach to LHR when the pilot came over the PA and announced that “out to the left you can see he glory that is Basildon”
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