Funny pilot PA
 

I had a quiet giggle when the first officer said "thank you for staying with us for [xx] hours". I was surprised no one laughed out loud but as if we had a choice not to :D

The number of hours has been [xx]ed to protect the guilty.

Perhaps no-one else was listening

Posted before, but est I ever heard on BA was a few years ago now when coming into LHR from the East (so overflying the city). It went:

"Ladies and gentlemen, those of you seated on the right will be able to see quite a few sights including the Thames Barrier, Tower Bridge, Canary Wharf, St Pauls Cathedral, Big Ben and Buckingham Palace". Short pause before, "those of you on the left will be able to see Croydon...........but thankfully only from a distance"

Great stuff ^

Genius!

My two highlights were a chirpy 767 pilot on a BA456 some years ago who, after having given the spiel on the number of miles separating us from MAD, the feet of cruising altitude and the knots of speed then proceeded to say "And if you're feeling particularly metric today..." and translated everything in the decimal system.

Another skipper, upon landing on a very wet day in London from Narita, said the following: "Welcome to a summer's day in London, distinguishable from a winter day because the rain is ever so slightly warm".

There is a BA pilot at LGW that makes all his announcement in the poshest possible public school type accent, have been on a flight a few times and never quite worked out whether it is real or put on for the benefit of pax.

On a flight with a technical delay about 6 months ago, his explanation of the problem and what was to happen were hilarious with the failed system being described as "a very, very naughty box of tricks up at the pointy end that hasn't quite woken up yet", the Engineers on the way to fix it were called, "those clever boffins from BA's very clever boffin department" and when it was fixed but we had lost the slot the ATC folks were called, "the lovely people who point us where we want to go and not at any other aircraft"

I haven't done his announcement justice and there were many more quips describing this one delay...all delivered in a very posh accent.

V good, but (probably at least) 20 years ago the CSD on a JFK-LHR sector asked all passengers to pay particular attention to the safety briefing to be given by one of his poshest colleagues as it contained a deliberate mistake. As a good northern boy I was not surprised when he subsequently announced that it was a raft not raaft.

Appealing for Comic Relief fund pilot asks "If you have the odd bent copper, or you know one".