krispy84

HIDDY

Indeed....otherwise known as manners.

These type of threads appear regularly on here. Frankly, this incident is nothing to get too het up about compared to what I encounter in everyday life.

RollAnotherFatOne

I acknowledge that there is always a counter view.
When I said 'everything' I did so in the context of everyday interactions that people have with one another - I definitely did not have infant mortality in mind or other such subjects. I did not expect a misunderstanding and for this I apologise.

I do not believe that the daily mail is always right in its view and the media does have a lot to answer for - it is very much about sensationalism. Unfortunately even the BBC website that, one may consider impartial, produce articles pf low quality and brash bias.

While anyone can be selfish and inconsiderate, of all age groups, it is very difficult to ignore people with a phone in one hand taking centre stage, 'booming' or should I say broadcasting! Whether I want to be involved or not, it is a photo here, a video there, and facetime too. Do these people ever think that the people besides them would like to be left undisturbed and not in the background as unpaid extras? I have friends who suffer tremendously from anxiety and other conditions, who find travel difficult and the unruly behaviour by loud mouths and the inconsiderate seem so unnecessary. Often these types go hand in hand, like hand in glove. I find this very sad where people are too intimidated to speak up today. Just because people don't say anything, doesn't mean it's ok to put your dirty feet on furniture, or shout across rooms, etc. We've all experienced this behaviour before, and I'm sorry I think it's become more common.

icegirl

How do peoples manners compare in other airlines lounges not just BAs, better, worse or same?

Infinite Possibilities

South London Bon Viveur

callum9999

I didn't mean that to come across as saying you're "all mouth, no trousers" - just that I didn't (and don't) think the intervention would be as effective as you imagine.

That seems to be a completely different scenario. In yours, the person may or may not have known they were in the wrong, then stopped doing it when someone else vocally informed them. In this case, the person knows they were wrong, knows the people around them know they're doing something wrong and chose to ignore objections. I know it seems pretty similar, but that's an enormous difference when it comes to human behaviour.

I still maintain that acting like you suggest would have resolved nothing and possibly result in escalated aggression.


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HIDDY

I agree.
Then again, I don't sweat the small stuff as life is too short.

BOH

I disagree. In the OP's situation, moving the items back on to their table clears your own table. Personally have never had a situation escalate, it is simply about saying something in an assertive manner (not an aggressive manner) and maintaining eye contact.

People get away with selfish "me, me ,me" behaviour only if others let them. IMHO they usually do back down if someone stands up to them. I thoroughly recommend it - just be assertive

IAN-UK

Absolutely. Confrontation might be cathartic to the chastiser but it is very unlikely to provide any longer term behavioural change in the perpetrator. Indeed there's the possibility of reinforcing anti-social behaviour in reaction to the intervention of an authority figure.

The perpetrators most certainly understand that their actions are not "correct", but simply don't care too much about such niceties. Confronting them and chastising them is far more likely to lead to conflict than to any change in behaviour.

Comforting to the confronter, but likely to mark him as just a little bit out of control himself.

gliderpilot

yytleisure

callum9999

In that specific example, the best solution is what they did - express annoyance at their behaviour then recognise that further confrontation isn't going to achieve anything so just get on with their day.

The only way to elicit change in those individuals is if you have power over them (i.e. the lounge attendant can tell them to resolve the issue or get out). It's incredibly annoying, but there simply isn't a solution to every issue.
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callum9999

If you genuinely believe the kind of person who would dump dishes on your table and then ignore your protest over it will just sit back and do nothing if you moved them back, I think we have wildly differing views on human behaviour!

Though perhaps you misread the original point? They did stand up to them but were dismissed. I agree you should attempt to rectify the behaviour, but if your first attempt is rebuffed I see nothing productive in trying a second or third time.

IAN-UK

In a casual one-off encounter the chances of eliciting meaningful behavioural change are close to zero. Unless you are Jesus or something close.


But an attitude tolerant of the failings of others is likely more successful than aggressive confrontation.

In the situation described, simply move the stuff to an empty table. The action will be noted, and a seed just might be sown in the minds of the perpetrators.