Would you mind switching seats with me...

Old Apr 19, 2018, 12:07 pm
  #166  
 
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I have just had the opposite situation - me asking repeatedly to give up my better seat!

I landed an hour or so ago in Vienna. I sat in 1D, very nice elderly American gentleman in 1F. He mentioned his wife was in 6A but they’d agreed as he was tall he should be in row 1. I went back down there and asked if she would like to swap - she said no, she’s got herself organised and was perfectly happy there - doing a jigsaw on her IPad.

I poppedback a couple of times on the flight to repeat my offer, but to no avail. Upside for me, I spent 2 hours talking to a complete gentleman who was very different from me but utterly charming - a real life enhancing couple of hours.
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Old Apr 19, 2018, 1:04 pm
  #167  
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Originally Posted by rickg523
Your third and last paragraphs are inconsistent.
If you don't care what other pax think, then asking you for a favor is not an imposition, forcing you to feel abashed or burdened in some way because you refuse. By virtue of your last paragraph the only imposition involved is forcing you to exercise your vocal cords or your neck muscles if you choose to simply shake your head "no" instead of saying it. Well okay, but if that's the extent of the bother while you're engaged in public transport, as you said - too bad, so sad.
I get your position, but why not just own it instead of adding that weak "By the very act of asking, you're making me feel bad or appear like a jerk to other passengers." It doesn't really ring true and just comes off as rhetorical overkill.
It doesn't matter if I end up feeling self conscious or not . I choose not to, but the asker doesn't know that, and most people would feel put on the spot. Askers frequently offer sob stories or some odd ranking system they came up with on their own that places them as a higher priority more deserving of the seat...kids, spouses, anxiety, handicap. It garners the attention of onlookers too. This is solely for the intention of making the seat holder feel on the spot.
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Old Apr 19, 2018, 1:58 pm
  #168  
 
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And, out of interest, in your 30 plus years of flying, how often have you been asked to change seats?
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Old Apr 19, 2018, 3:00 pm
  #169  
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Originally Posted by pablol
And, out of interest, in your 30 plus years of flying, how often have you been asked to change seats?
Didn't keep count. But a rough estimate puts it around 40ish.
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Old Apr 19, 2018, 4:31 pm
  #170  
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Originally Posted by Proudelitist
Didn't keep count. But a rough estimate puts it around 40ish.
that's definitely an unlucky record (and I fly about 200 flights/year)
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Old Apr 19, 2018, 4:38 pm
  #171  
 
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Originally Posted by Proudelitist
You did the correct thing. There is no reason anyone should play "Unite the Couple". They are adults, they can be apart for a few hours. If they cannot, then they should have booked seats together. If they did and got separated by the cruel gods of air travel, too bad, so sad. Not your problem to solve.

I say no to ALL swaps on principle. Well..to be clear, if someone offered to swap me for a seat in a better class..sure. But that's never happened in 30 years of flying.

Firstly, it's a rude imposition to even ask someone to swap. No matter how politely done, it puts a burden on the seat holder to take on the problems of the requestee. It's tantamount to panhandling. Give me something for nothing. Besides, once I am seated, I don't want to be disturbed or arsed to move.

Secondly, whatever seat I am in, I paid extra for it and reserved it weeks if not months in advance. I used my status to be able to get first shot at it. I used the seat maps. Did the research. I put effort into it. Someone who covets it didn't do any of that. It's not my job to accommodate armatures, the ignorant, the cheap or the lazy. I don't care about their problem. I won that seat fair and square, and they lost. Some eat, some get eaten. End of story.

And the fear of seeming like a jerk is of no concern to me. THEY are the jerks for asking. I don't care what other pax think of me. I will never see those people again. If the fear of sitting next to an angry member of a separated couple is to much, consider my perspective: Watching them steam about it is a pleasure, and justice for their impudence and arrogance at thinking their being a couple outranks you being solo.... despite your advanced seat choices and extra fees.
I was quite enjoying some of the anecdotes on this thread, but thought it was heading the way of the Norwegian Blue. So a heartfelt thanks from me for this little dose of CPR...
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Old Apr 19, 2018, 5:30 pm
  #172  
 
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Originally Posted by orbitmic
that's definitely an unlucky record (and I fly about 200 flights/year)
I don't think that is necessarily true. It may be a rarity on most airlines, but it happens to me a lot when flying First Class on AA (and I assume it would happen if I flew First more often on Delta or United). As others have noted, the issue arises when couples score an upgrade close to departure and expect to be seated together when there are no seat pairs in the First Class cabin left to be assigned.
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Old Apr 19, 2018, 11:45 pm
  #173  
 
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I've never been asked in all the time I've flown with BA.

Nearest I've been was when flying to the US in a BA Y bulkhead seat and there was an Indian couple and an infant already in the A/B seats. They had a family member in the cabin behind who they wanted to sit with. The crew, before take-off, without asking me anything, brought them back and a man forward. So they got to sit together and I had an empty middle seat as he took the window,

AA wise, twice in domestic F.
First time was a transcon on a 321S with TV screens etc. and I was in the rearmost starboard window seat. Arrived to see a woman as my seatmate and her husband across the aisle. They asked if I would swap and I did, taking his aisle seat.
Second time on a flight either in or out of Panama. Two men wanted to sit together so moved from my favoured 6B to another aisle seat 3 rows forward.

No hardship for both flights to be honest.

Once in CX F as well.
Was flying JFK-YVR-HKG back in November and had 1A. Landed in YVR and most people got off.
Then a 30yo or so Asian woman and her elderly father got on. She was in 2A and he was in a middle seat, so separated by the wall / barrier or whatever it's called.
He seemed quite flustered as didn't want to be separated and from what they were saying to the crew, the daughter wanted to keep an eye on him and help him as he wasn't too good on his feet etc.
The cabin crew member asked me if I would swap so I did. Dark outside and was planning on eating a bit and sleeping anyway.
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Old Apr 20, 2018, 12:37 am
  #174  
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Originally Posted by CCayley


I don't think that is necessarily true. It may be a rarity on most airlines, but it happens to me a lot when flying First Class on AA (and I assume it would happen if I flew First more often on Delta or United). As others have noted, the issue arises when couples score an upgrade close to departure and expect to be seated together when there are no seat pairs in the First Class cabin left to be assigned.
yes indeed (actually I was the one making that precise point up thread! ) si yes if flying loads of us F it’s a lot more frequent in my experience and the 40 could indeed be a lot more usual.
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Old Apr 20, 2018, 3:14 am
  #175  
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A number of posts have been removed which personally attacked a thread contributor. Let’s be absolutely clear: insulting yourself by calling yourself a jerk might be considered an act of self-criticism, having someone else continue that attack and worse is a breach of our rules. We expect posters to treat each other with respect, and we always debate the issue, not the member.

This line of posting stops now, please.

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Old Apr 20, 2018, 3:40 am
  #176  
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Originally Posted by orbitmic
that's definitely an unlucky record (and I fly about 200 flights/year)
Quite, in all my travels I think I have been asked about half a dozen times. I did offer to move from 1K to 1A on a flight to JFK, the lady in 1A let her phone slip down the side of her seat on takeoff which the crew could not retrieve. The lady (the mother of a well known NYC based TV actress ) wanted to sleep but couldn't have her seat made in to the bed - so being the nice gentleman that I am, I offered to swap so she could sleep. That little act of kindness made the lady's day.
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Old Apr 20, 2018, 9:55 am
  #177  
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Originally Posted by orbitmic
that's definitely an unlucky record (and I fly about 200 flights/year)
I tend to be in situations where asking is more common. Most of it is in F, from upgraded couples that really should just be grateful they got the upgrade, but must also look the gift horse in the mouth and try to displace people so they can be together. Or worse, on at least two occasions, ONE of the couple got the UG, and tried to get me to swap for their spouses coach seat so the other could sit in F with them too.

I am also the guy flying solo, and the one in the coveted seats no matter what cabin they are in. Exit rows, premium economy seats, 2nd row of F, 64K on the upper deck, and the guy who frequently must fly on routes that are more family heavy like flights to MCO and SNA...where EVERYONE is a split up family. I am also the guy who flies internationally to places where the general cultural norms are more oriented to an aggressive first-come-first served attitude that disregards seat assignments..China, South America, South Asia etc.

In any case, I have flown thousands of flights in that time...ballparking an incidence of 40 still makes it pretty low and hardly unlucky. But the more you play, the more you catch.
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Old Apr 20, 2018, 10:09 am
  #178  
 
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Only time I've every been asked to move, was to a better seat. Travelling LHR to LAX, I was sat in the second row of WTP as I'd failed to bag my preferred front row aisle (bassinet) seat. I'm just settling in and a pair of middle age ladies arrive, politely explain they are travelling sisters and would I mind moving forward one row (to where i'd hope to be sitting). Spent the flight sat next to a very attractive professional singer who entertained me with stories of meeting various celebs etc... A very enjoyable journey.
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Old Apr 21, 2018, 4:36 am
  #179  
 
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Another example of the cheek of some people....

a couple of years ago I booked my daughter a one way ticket in WTP, and the bucket allowed seat choice on booking so I'd got her a nice window seat. I ad gone to pick her up and had scored a great Club fare so I was on the upper deck, and being 16, she wanted to be all grown up and board by herself when called. Anyway, she got on board and found an elderly lady in her seat, and the seat mate (the poachers daughter) Told my daughter she could just take her mother's seat which was a middle middle in the back half of Y.

being my daughter, she was well aware that this was a cheek, so daughter called the cabin crew over to evict the poacher.

cue the bullshine about why the old lady HAD to have the seat, a tale about how my daughter had grabbed the seat whilst the seatmate was going through seat selection (not true as daughter had been in that seat for over 6 weeks), and if that was the case, why was the poacher in a different cabin?), and that mother couldn't sit alone, needed a window etc etc.

my daughter stood her ground and helpfully suggested that they ask the seatmmate in the the middle middle at the back to change which of course had the usual result - no way was the poachers daughter downgrading hers,of . Poacher moved back to her own seat very grudgingly with many mutters about youngsters having no respect for others, whilst the grumpy seatmate gave my daughter the stink eye and wouldn't let her out for the loo etc all through what was a thoroughly unpleasant trip.

daughter thankfully was so shattered after a 6 week wilderness camp that she slept through most of the trip, and she told me the cabin crew kept an eye on her to ensure she was OK.
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Old Apr 22, 2018, 11:36 am
  #180  
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Originally Posted by CarolynUK
Another example of the cheek of some people....

a couple of years ago I booked my daughter a one way ticket in WTP, and the bucket allowed seat choice on booking so I'd got her a nice window seat. I ad gone to pick her up and had scored a great Club fare so I was on the upper deck, and being 16, she wanted to be all grown up and board by herself when called. Anyway, she got on board and found an elderly lady in her seat, and the seat mate (the poachers daughter) Told my daughter she could just take her mother's seat which was a middle middle in the back half of Y.

being my daughter, she was well aware that this was a cheek, so daughter called the cabin crew over to evict the poacher.

cue the bullshine about why the old lady HAD to have the seat, a tale about how my daughter had grabbed the seat whilst the seatmate was going through seat selection (not true as daughter had been in that seat for over 6 weeks), and if that was the case, why was the poacher in a different cabin?), and that mother couldn't sit alone, needed a window etc etc.

my daughter stood her ground and helpfully suggested that they ask the seatmmate in the the middle middle at the back to change which of course had the usual result - no way was the poachers daughter downgrading hers,of . Poacher moved back to her own seat very grudgingly with many mutters about youngsters having no respect for others, whilst the grumpy seatmate gave my daughter the stink eye and wouldn't let her out for the loo etc all through what was a thoroughly unpleasant trip.

daughter thankfully was so shattered after a 6 week wilderness camp that she slept through most of the trip, and she told me the cabin crew kept an eye on her to ensure she was OK.
Mrs. Proudelitist, who does not fly nearly as much as I do, has learned some good lessons from me as well. She recently boarded to find her aisle seat occupied by the middle seat passenger, who "mansplained" to her that "it's all the same, just sit there, the whole plane is going to the same place". She was having none of it and the guy begrudingly moved. The old Mrs. Proudelitist would have meekly backed down so as not to cause a scene. It's great when our families learn from us and apply those lessons.
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