DYKWIA | 2018 edition

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Old Nov 1, 18, 8:37 am
  #871  
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Originally Posted by Nick Art View Post
Spoiler
DYKIHASAK=Do you know I have a Swiss Army Knife?
Whoooo ... DYKWIA technology demonstration!!
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Old Nov 1, 18, 8:43 am
  #872  
 
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I must admit that on a visit to the AA arrivals lounge in T3 LHR, I was asked if I were Gold / AA Platinum and did, probably a little bit sarcastically, respond that I was in fact GGL, perhaps CK (muttering under my breath that this could be in the same ballpark should AA have any consistency from the CK/GGL thread).
Unsurprisingly, the girl had zero idea of what GGL was. Then again, in her defence, neither does BA 99.9999% of the time.

Everything has been quite civilised for me. Still looking for the right opportunity to flash my card at some interloper(s) but with exception of LHR free-for-all C-Gates a lot of the time, everyone queues nicely.
Even on AA, where the boarding process seems to have around 3 secs between each of groups 1, 2, 3 and 4 being called, no-one seems to be pushing forward.
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Old Nov 4, 18, 3:33 pm
  #873  
 
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Originally Posted by Nick Art View Post
I have not attempted to use my swiss army knife as a tool in a DYKIHASAK way to get to board the plane earlier or get me rebooked better yet. Now I think about it I'm sure one could also argue ones way into the Lounge with it as well... I'm sure it'd be a persuasive argument!

What could go wrong?

Spoiler
DYKIHASAK=Do you know I have a Swiss Army Knife?
A number of years ago, flying I think BLR LHR, I had completely forgotten that said knife was in my hand luggage rather than hold. At security however, they very kindly "red bagged" the knife for it to go on board with the crew, and it was handed back to me on the plane when we landed. Is that still a thing? Not quite DYKWIA, in my smoking days I did learn a trick for getting a cigarette lighter past BLR security, guaranteed to work every time. Of course, I won't post that publicly...
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Old Nov 5, 18, 1:32 am
  #874  
 
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Originally Posted by labdoctor View Post
Dear God, the ones in Spain have a mind of their own. Alicante has some decidedly clunky ones which operate at the speed of a sloth. They were probably made by the Spanish equivalent of Netto or Kwik Save. The E Gates in UK are blissful in comparison.
The ones we used on Friday worked with no problem.
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Old Nov 5, 18, 6:08 am
  #875  
 
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on the subject of Swiss Army knives...
used to work in the airline industry, testing check in software for airlines at LHR (I think it was T3). going through staff security with one of those mini SAK (blade under 6cm, with only a blade, can opener and corkscrew)
Got red-flagged there, and the only excuse I could find on the spot was: "well, I'm French, can't live without a corkscrew"
That earned a good laugh from the security agent, and that was it.
This knife went fine through many airports, usually without any quibble, until it got confiscated (because of the corkscrew, same as Nick Art) in ORY of all places, where it had been through two weeks prior!
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Old Nov 6, 18, 1:36 am
  #876  
 
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Originally Posted by xenole View Post
I must admit that on a visit to the AA arrivals lounge in T3 LHR, I was asked if I were Gold / AA Platinum and did, probably a little bit sarcastically, respond that I was in fact GGL, perhaps CK (muttering under my breath that this could be in the same ballpark should AA have any consistency from the CK/GGL thread).
Unsurprisingly, the girl had zero idea of what GGL was. Then again, in her defence, neither does BA 99.9999% of the time.

Everything has been quite civilised for me. Still looking for the right opportunity to flash my card at some interloper(s) but with exception of LHR free-for-all C-Gates a lot of the time, everyone queues nicely.
Even on AA, where the boarding process seems to have around 3 secs between each of groups 1, 2, 3 and 4 being called, no-one seems to be pushing forward.
Gave me a giggle this Tuesday morning

Though I would shout out the GGL line team who are unfailingly polite, proactive, informed, empowered and efficient... some of the agents even (claim to) remember me - so they really DKWIA
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Old Nov 10, 18, 8:16 am
  #877  
 
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Boarding AA man-ord in June.

Can't remember the gate number, but it was in an alcove that was about 20 feet wide.
As a result, it was an absolute scrum.

I'm business, so group 1 (787).
Myself and another gentleman join the back of the group 1 queue, which has a tensa-barrier (forgive me if there's a better name for that) running along parallel the the wall, then juts out at 45 degrees to direct us to the right of the desk, and then to the door/walkway.

I'm gormlessly staring into space, as I do for my 90% of my life, when the queue starts to very slowly move forward.
As I get about halfway to having my boarding pass scanned, a woman and her, sheepish looking, man decide to jump underneath the barrier about 3 places ahead of me.
Aforementioned man in front of me, American, says politely "I think you may be confused. This queue is group 1 and ends back there".

Woman looks at him but does not respond, then talks to sheep-man in, what I think was, German.
Perhaps she doesn't speak English?

American man isn't too bothered, but turns to me and humourously makes a comment about letting the whole gate on before us.
I smile and nod, cos I don't really care when I get on.

Non-english speaker and sheepy get their boarding cards scanned, as me and Mr USA approach scanner.
At which point, 'lady' turns round and waves her boarding card at us and says, in perfect English, "See! It IS the right line!".
I did catch a giant 'GROUP 7' on her boarding pass as it was waved in my face (despite me not being involved).

I don't care who gets on before me. I do care when someone states a mistake as a fact (her pass should not have been scanned, she should've been returned to the scrum) and gloats at me.

Many 'woo-sahs' later, and I'm onboard without speaking to her.

Not up there with most stories, but it took every but of my restraint to not follow her up the walkway and explain how numbers work.
But I think that would've made me a DYKWIA and made me worse than her, so I've posted this purely to applaud myself for being a good little boy that day.

But I would defend a lot of DYKWIA behaviour at Manchester purely because it's such a terrible place to try and leave.
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Old Nov 10, 18, 8:55 am
  #878  
 
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Originally Posted by FT01 View Post
But I would defend a lot of DYKWIA behaviour at Manchester purely because it's such a terrible place to try and leave.
+1

It explains, if not quite excusing, the behaviour.

Was leaving from MAN T2 on QR in J in Aug and it was simply ghastly. People everywhere and no semblance of order. It required some sharp elbows and some loudly worded “excuse me please” to priority board. Cue the expected tutting and “we’ll all get there the same time mate” responses from other passengers. Perhaps I was DYKWIA, but in my defence, I was parched and needed a couple of glasses of pre-departure champagne 🙂

ps. Plus I hate being called ‘mate’ 😞

pps. I forgot the swarms of Trunki children’s wheeled luggage tripping me up every 5 metres and families being allowed through the, laughably called, Fast Track Security.

Rant over, I promise!
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Last edited by krispy84; Nov 10, 18 at 9:03 am
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Old Nov 10, 18, 9:00 am
  #879  
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Originally Posted by krispy84 View Post
It required some sharp elbows and some loudly worded “excuse me please” to priority board. Cue the expected tutting and “we’ll all get there the same time mate” responses from other passengers.
The irony being those that say “we’ll all get there the same time mate” are at the same time cramming around the gate and not waiting until they are called or indeed just sat waiting to board last.
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Old Nov 10, 18, 9:03 am
  #880  
 
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Sociologists would have a field day trying to explain gate theory
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Old Nov 10, 18, 9:05 am
  #881  
 
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Originally Posted by krispy84 View Post


+1

It explains, if not quite excusing, the behaviour.

Was leaving from MAN T2 on QR in J in Aug and it was simply ghastly. People everywhere and no semblance of order. It required some sharp elbows and some loudly worded “excuse me please” to priority board. Cue the expected tutting and “we’ll all get there the same time mate” responses from other passengers. Perhaps I was DYKWIA, but in my defence, I was parched and needed a couple of glasses of pre-departure champagne 🙂

ps. Plus I hate being called ‘mate’ 😞

pps. I forgot the swarms of Trunki children’s wheeled luggage tripping me up every 5 metres and families being allowed through the, laughably called, Fast Track Security.

Rant over, I promise!
Funny how "mate" seems to stand for something otherwise...
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Old Nov 10, 18, 9:09 am
  #882  
 
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Originally Posted by argonath View Post
Funny how "mate" seems to stand for something otherwise...
Insert a 4 letter word of your choice ....
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Old Nov 10, 18, 9:35 pm
  #883  
 
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Originally Posted by ng1265 View Post
on the subject of Swiss Army knives...
used to work in the airline industry, testing check in software for airlines at LHR (I think it was T3). going through staff security with one of those mini SAK (blade under 6cm, with only a blade, can opener and corkscrew)
Got red-flagged there, and the only excuse I could find on the spot was: "well, I'm French, can't live without a corkscrew"
That earned a good laugh from the security agent, and that was it.
This knife went fine through many airports, usually without any quibble, until it got confiscated (because of the corkscrew, same as Nick Art) in ORY of all places, where it had been through two weeks prior!
I once escorted a film crew through T5's South Staff Search so that they could do their filming thing. It was either Airport Live, or some other airport TV show done by the Beeb. My job was, essentially, to escort them everywhere they went, ensure they didn't walk in front of a functioning engine or things of that kind. Before we got through we educated the crew to discard anything that could constitute a weapon: wire cutters, knives, screwdrivers and so on. Everyone nodded until their heads came off so, thinking they'd gotten the message had filtered through, off we went. I think it was me, 4 TV people and a lot of those plastic boxes filled with expensive equipment. LHR security was at the end of the shift and, to thank me for standing between them and an early trap, swabbed and hand searched every single one of them.

It goes without saying that the X-ray found one screwdriver and two cardboard cutters in one of the boxes, plus another one that seemed to be testing positively to explosives. Security and the cops were called, yours truly had his pass revoked, reprimanded and briefly put in handcuffs until the explosive issue was sorted. We were, obviously, banned to proceed and effectively got kicked out of the terminal. The leader of the gang of TV people tried to protest, "But we're the BBC!!" he said (a case of DYWBIWF, Do You Know Which Broadcaster I Work For, I guess?) but it was to no avail. My pass, sadly, remained there with LHR's finest.
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Old Nov 11, 18, 1:41 am
  #884  
 
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Boarding QF923 CNS-SYD during the last week.

At the entry to the gate there are two lines, one for business, QF status listed and then sapphire and emerald at the bottom and the other for economy.

I noticed a guy a couple of places ahead of me in the business line with two large rollers and a sizeable backpack each piece sporting a BA gold tag. The lady heading the boarding is someone who if you are familiar with CNS and I say she exudes don't mess with me you'll know who I mean.

Boarding starts and the queue moves. Three bags is next and he thrusts his boarding pass at Ms Don't Mess with Me, she looks at him and declines to take the boarding pass stating that he is way in excess of the permitted amount and some would have to be checked in. The dialogue went just about as follows.

QF: You have too much luggage to take aboard sir, you may keep one piece and I'll check the rest in for you.
3 Bags: I'm a BA gold card holder, I always take three bags on board when I fly with them. (Probably true!)
QF: You're flying with Qantas today sir, you may take one bag and a personal item, I cannot allow you to take all three pieces in the cabin.
3 Bags: But I'm a BA gold card holder, I'm allowed to take my bags on board because of my status.
QF: I'll say again sir, today you're flying with Qantas, you may take on piece aboard.
3 Bags: I'm not just a gold card holder, I'm gold guest list, that's higher than gold.
QF: Sir, status does not allow you to take additional bags on board at Qantas, our platinum frequent flyers may only take one large and one small bag aboard. As you have three large bags two will need to go in the hold.
3Bags: This is outrageous, take the bags from the people in the economy queue, you should be treating frequent flyers with respect.
QF: Which bags would you like to check in sir? Please stand to one side while you make up your mind.

At that point she started boarding the remainder of the priority queue so I saw no more of this and I boarded taking my assigned seat 1C. The last person to board was 3 Bags but now reduced to one, I lost sight of him as he moved beyond row 3 into the economy cabin.
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Old Nov 11, 18, 1:46 am
  #885  
 
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Originally Posted by lhrpete View Post
At that point she started boarding the remainder of the priority queue so I saw no more of this and I boarded taking my assigned seat 1C. The last person to board was 3 Bags but now reduced to one, I lost sight of him as he moved beyond row 3 into the economy cabin.
There is something inherently rewarding seeing someone like that taken down a peg or two.
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