Humourous cabin announcements
#33
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...or as I had on one United flight, "There are two oxygen masks in the washroom. Do not stop and wonder why there are two masks, just put one of them on".
#34
Join Date: Apr 2012
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Best one I've heard was on Wow Air going to Iceland a few years ago.
"In an emergency, if the oxygen masks fall from the overhead compartment, then firstly.... stop screaming. Then... let go of your neighbour"
"In an emergency, if the oxygen masks fall from the overhead compartment, then firstly.... stop screaming. Then... let go of your neighbour"
#35
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I didn't hear this directly but it is legendary in the rail sector where I worked until recently. Between LHR and Paddington there is a train servicing centre, universally known in the rail industry as "North Pole Depot" - it is always referred to by this name.
About 10 years ago, heavy snow in the area lead to some delays and cancellations too and one FGW service came to a halt just past Heathrow Junction. The Guard / Train Manager then made the following announcement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, am sorry for the delay today, this is due to heavy snow at The North Pole"
About 10 years ago, heavy snow in the area lead to some delays and cancellations too and one FGW service came to a halt just past Heathrow Junction. The Guard / Train Manager then made the following announcement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, am sorry for the delay today, this is due to heavy snow at The North Pole"
They were then looking for Rudolph (& asking why it wasn't snowing), which I thought was quite sweet and he explained what it was for, "trains that go to France in a tunnel under the water". They didn't like train travel until that point.
Now the trains that come from there fill with water.
#37
Join Date: Apr 2006
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Had some great ones travelling VS from LAS-LGW:
"Ladies and gentlemen as we begin our taxi, to the right of the plane you'll see a Southwest airlines plane. Could passengers on the right please keep their faces pressed up against the windows so that they could see what a full plane looks like"
"We'd like to extend a warm welcome to our Gold and silver flying club members today, and customers of British Airways"
as we landed
"Ladies and gentlemen we'd like to ask for volunteers to help clean and tidy the plane once we've landed, if you'd like to volunteer please make yourself known to the crew by standing up while the fasten seatbelt sign is still lit"
"Ladies and gentlemen as we begin our taxi, to the right of the plane you'll see a Southwest airlines plane. Could passengers on the right please keep their faces pressed up against the windows so that they could see what a full plane looks like"
"We'd like to extend a warm welcome to our Gold and silver flying club members today, and customers of British Airways"
as we landed
"Ladies and gentlemen we'd like to ask for volunteers to help clean and tidy the plane once we've landed, if you'd like to volunteer please make yourself known to the crew by standing up while the fasten seatbelt sign is still lit"
#39
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: AVV
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These sort of announcements make my day. We touched down in wundeh Wullengten (WLG) once and, since it was actually so windy out, the captain said something to the effect of (in a strong NZ accent), "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Wellington where the local time is now xx:xx. Just a reminder that it is pretty windy out, and bit chilly today, so hold on to your hats, button up your coats and tighten your belts as you walk across the tarmac to gate xx. It's been a pleasure having you on board."
There must be something about the Kiwi sense of humour. On the ferry across Auckland bay to Rangitoto island, the Captain went through the standard safety briefing before adding that if we had any other questions, queries, concerns or needed some relationship advice, to talk to Sarah in the cabin bar downstairs.
There must be something about the Kiwi sense of humour. On the ferry across Auckland bay to Rangitoto island, the Captain went through the standard safety briefing before adding that if we had any other questions, queries, concerns or needed some relationship advice, to talk to Sarah in the cabin bar downstairs.
#40
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#41
Join Date: Oct 2006
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Not sure if he's still with BA but Eurofleet CSD Tom S was quite well known for witty PAs. His standard afterlanding PA included words to the effect of "if you're going on holiday here, I hope you have a splendid one, if you're going to a business meeting I hope it's a successful one, and if you're going on another flight, I hope it's a British Airways one!"
#42
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On landing from a DXB-LHR after the usual wittering, the captain said “thank you for choosing British Airways, by God we need the business”.
#44
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#45
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: London
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"We have a wide selection of delicious food for purchase....."
Yesterday on flight to VIE the crew announced that there would be a landing in fog and the Captain required all electronic equipment to be switched off. The crew member then announced something something along the lines of
"...for those that are interested this is called a CAT 3 auto land which is a fully automated approach whereby the aircraft is guided in to the runway by radio signals....."
Short pause
"....this is usually very successful...."
Made me laugh though some people looked a bit worried.
Yesterday on flight to VIE the crew announced that there would be a landing in fog and the Captain required all electronic equipment to be switched off. The crew member then announced something something along the lines of
"...for those that are interested this is called a CAT 3 auto land which is a fully automated approach whereby the aircraft is guided in to the runway by radio signals....."
Short pause
"....this is usually very successful...."
Made me laugh though some people looked a bit worried.