Ask the BAEC Gold Thread
 

This thread is the place for any Silver/Bronze/Blue/OW equivalent to ask any question and receive an enlightened response.

Only rule is that only Golds can respond with an answer AND the answer will always be a sarcastic 'life advice' type answer common to (insert your favourite mag / paper here) column on "Ask Auntie X"

So here is your chance to get the advice you need but didn't ask for! @:-)

By how many inches does your wally grow upon reaching Gold, GGL and CCR status?

If you have to ask, you have no chance of getting there :D

Dear BAEC Gold, will I be successful with women if I have a BAEC gold card?

See here

Dear BAEC Gold, I used to go out with a BA crew (yes, despite being a lowly blue). She taught me the Gold card was also dubbed the 'clitoris card' by crew. Do you know why?

By applying Warburton's Theorem, and avoiding changing at Earl's Court onto the District Line, we can deduce that it's inversely proportional to the increase in circumference of the holder's head.

Dear BAEC Gold/s,

I have two initial queries.

Firstly, how can I best display my gold luggage tags to ensure people know I'm the kind of guy you wouldn't want to invite to a dinner party?

Secondly, are the rumours of a secret 'have a screaming child belonging to someone else checked into the hold' perk true?

I await your reply with bated breath.

Dear BAEC Gold,

While we all know that JMB Diamond has the smallest card among oneworld Emeralds, how does the BAEC Gold card compare in size to AAdv EXP and other Emeralds?

Sincerely,
Wistfully Waiting

Furthermore, how does the BAEC gold card compare in rigidity to the other oneworld emerald cards?

Dear Auntie Gold,

I'm absolutely petrified that I will be publicly humiliated. The small straps provided to proudly display my bag tags are rather flaccid in appearance, and lacking endurance compared to those sported by other men.

What can I do to prevent one from limply dropping towards the floor in the middle of the lounge?

Yours,
Dreadfully worried :(

It's not the black AA Concierge key card which is smallest? In any case, the only possible answer to that question is that mine is larger.

Silly question...don't you know that all Golds buy their stationary accessories at Smythson, where they will sell you far sturdier luggage tags with which to fasten those oh-so-limp cards to your LV or Mulberry overnight bag.

Dear BA Gold,

What's the pulled pork like?

Dear BA Gold,

What is the best method of ensuring that once reaching Gold, you remain permanently segregated from the great unwashed?