Jun 15, 2018, 3:18 pm
Last edit by: Prospero
There have been sufficient posts over the years on this topic so as to extend the scope of this thread from one instance to multiple instances of passengers asking to exchange seats with you.
The prevailing ideas of seat exchange etiquette seem to include:
Ask, don’t assume or surprise another passenger by poaching another passenger’s seat first, then asking when confronted. At that point, even for those willing, you’ll probably get a curt “no” reply - at best.
Ask nicely.
Try to have a reasonable purpose - you’re a companion to a person with a disability or condition requiring your assistance and the airline had no adjacent seats to sell.
Don’t expect a better seat to be granted for your worse seat. Ever.
Thank the other person. Shouting them a drink, etc. is even better.
Accept “no” gracefully; it wasn’t ever your seat.
The prevailing ideas of seat exchange etiquette seem to include:
Ask, don’t assume or surprise another passenger by poaching another passenger’s seat first, then asking when confronted. At that point, even for those willing, you’ll probably get a curt “no” reply - at best.
Ask nicely.
Try to have a reasonable purpose - you’re a companion to a person with a disability or condition requiring your assistance and the airline had no adjacent seats to sell.
Don’t expect a better seat to be granted for your worse seat. Ever.
Thank the other person. Shouting them a drink, etc. is even better.
Accept “no” gracefully; it wasn’t ever your seat.
The “would you change seats with me?” Master thread
Nov 4, 2019, 8:46 am
#121
Suspended
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 132
First time I was nice about it. Second and third times it was clear to me that I was being addressed as someone who mattered less than them and I basically just said "nah, go away." I'll let you guess if they were huge dicks to me after that or not...
Nov 4, 2019, 9:52 am
#122
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Seattle, WA
Programs: AS 100K, AA EXP, Hyatt Globalist, Marriott Plat, Hilton Diamond
Posts: 294
Agent wanted to separate two parties in J instead of only one
Recently I flew from EZE to LAX in J (equipment is 787-9) with a companion, so we were booked in two center seats (D and H). At check-in the agent said a couple was flying in A and L on the same row. The agent wanted to move one of us to L, so as to have us in H and L, and the couple in A and D. The agent tried to shame me into saying yes, saying we'd "still be close" and the couple wouldn't be separated anymore only if I did this. This of course was bananas because not only are these J seats super private, but window and center seats are also staggered so that there's no chance that anyone can communicate across the aisle without literally standing.
Of course I declined. But if you're going to try and arrange this at least know the seats... Would've screwed two parties instead of just one.
Of course I declined. But if you're going to try and arrange this at least know the seats... Would've screwed two parties instead of just one.
Nov 4, 2019, 11:31 am
#123
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Minneapolis: DL DM charter 2.3MM
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Posts: 100,396
Recently I flew from EZE to LAX in J (equipment is 787-9) with a companion, so we were booked in two center seats (D and H). At check-in the agent said a couple was flying in A and L on the same row. The agent wanted to move one of us to L, so as to have us in H and L, and the couple in A and D. The agent tried to shame me into saying yes, saying we'd "still be close" and the couple wouldn't be separated anymore only if I did this. This of course was bananas because not only are these J seats super private, but window and center seats are also staggered so that there's no chance that anyone can communicate across the aisle without literally standing.
Of course I declined. But if you're going to try and arrange this at least know the seats... Would've screwed two parties instead of just one.
Of course I declined. But if you're going to try and arrange this at least know the seats... Would've screwed two parties instead of just one.
Nov 4, 2019, 11:49 am
#124
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Texas
Programs: Hyatt Glob (Barely); Marriott Plat Life; AA Up and Down Now Plat; Hilton, UA, BA, HA Peasant
Posts: 2,668
I and we have had so few upgrades clear in the last couple or three years I'd be thrilled to both get seats in the front. We won't get divorced because we can't see each other for a few hours. Some trips not seeing each other for a few hours may keep us from getting divorced.
Nov 5, 2019, 4:54 am
#125
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Join Date: Sep 2009
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Posts: 100,396
I commend the GA for trying to solve it before the flight, but not so much for putting OP on the spot. That should be done separately. Also, I would not ask someone with a premium seat like that to switch her, I'd think they should ask someone who is in a nearby aisle seat to switch. If it's such a problem for her, she should be fine taking a slightly worse aisle seat at the least.
Nov 5, 2019, 7:54 am
#126
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: May 2004
Location: DFW/DAL
Programs: AA Lifetime PLT, AS MVPG, HH Diamond, NCL Platinum Plus, MSC Diamond
Posts: 21,422
Row 11 is the 4th row of economy and also has extra legroom - really - I can't see that many people would have a huge concern
If asking someone to move from a seat with extra legroom to a normal one, I can see that it might not be appealing , but cannot imagine that there are really that many people obsessed about being in the front row and the extra 60 seconds it might take to get off of the aeroplane
You were asked, you declined - the agent assumedly asked another person and that person agreed - seems like no issue at all
If asking someone to move from a seat with extra legroom to a normal one, I can see that it might not be appealing , but cannot imagine that there are really that many people obsessed about being in the front row and the extra 60 seconds it might take to get off of the aeroplane
You were asked, you declined - the agent assumedly asked another person and that person agreed - seems like no issue at all
I dislike the tray table reducing the seat width in exit rows, but I would rather sit in one than in a row that might have ESAs and/or children
Nov 5, 2019, 9:28 am
#127
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: SAN
Programs: AA CK, Hyatt Globalist
Posts: 839
Nov 5, 2019, 12:42 pm
#128
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Los Angeles& Telluride
Programs: UA1K, 1MM,AA Exec. Platinum, Global Entry, Nexus
Posts: 731
Why would I want to do that. 11D.E are double seats. there is no F. I"m asking to trade one exit row seat, 11C for another exit row seat 11E on an A321 Tons of leg room. No need to have two people next to you.
Nov 5, 2019, 2:05 pm
#129
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Anywhere
Programs: AA EXP
Posts: 674
You are asking someone to trade the better seat (11E) for a slightly worse seat (11C). Not terribly worse, but still. You could instead ask 11B (middle) to trade for your 11D, and then you not be asking someone to give up a better seat.
Nov 5, 2019, 2:20 pm
#130
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Los Angeles& Telluride
Programs: UA1K, 1MM,AA Exec. Platinum, Global Entry, Nexus
Posts: 731
Not sure I agree. My daughter is in 11C. I am in 11E. The seat we are talking about is 11D. both are aisle seats. If the D person switches with me, my daughter sits next to me. She is 5'10" 150 lbs. So she is not a petite person. Either way the kind soul that switches with me will be faced with an aisle. Both seats have the most amount of legroom on the plane. I don't see it being a problem or any kind of a downgrade.
Nov 5, 2019, 2:47 pm
#131
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Anywhere
Programs: AA EXP
Posts: 674
Not sure I agree. My daughter is in 11C. I am in 11E. The seat we are talking about is 11D. both are aisle seats. If the D person switches with me, my daughter sits next to me. She is 5'10" 150 lbs. So she is not a petite person. Either way the kind soul that switches with me will be faced with an aisle. Both seats have the most amount of legroom on the plane. I don't see it being a problem or any kind of a downgrade.
Nov 5, 2019, 6:44 pm
#132
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: CUR
Posts: 2,170
Nov 5, 2019, 7:13 pm
#133
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Kamuela, HI
Programs: AA-Plat
Posts: 462
Not sure I agree. My daughter is in 11C. I am in 11E. The seat we are talking about is 11D. both are aisle seats. If the D person switches with me, my daughter sits next to me. She is 5'10" 150 lbs. So she is not a petite person. Either way the kind soul that switches with me will be faced with an aisle. Both seats have the most amount of legroom on the plane. I don't see it being a problem or any kind of a downgrade.
Nov 6, 2019, 2:55 am
#134
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Morbihan, France
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The last three requests I got were:
-please trade your F seat for a Y seat because my daughter prefers first.
-I upgraded my wife and thought she had an F seat but its MCE, can you switch with her?
-I dont like sitting in the bulkhead row, so will you sit there instead?
So I've adopted the "headphones go on immediately and we simply don't talk to these people" strategy. I genuinely think people should be kicked off the flight for making these type of requests.
-please trade your F seat for a Y seat because my daughter prefers first.
-I upgraded my wife and thought she had an F seat but its MCE, can you switch with her?
-I dont like sitting in the bulkhead row, so will you sit there instead?
So I've adopted the "headphones go on immediately and we simply don't talk to these people" strategy. I genuinely think people should be kicked off the flight for making these type of requests.
I once was aboard a flight to HNL from LAX in F. I was a proper fare payer rather than deadheading or positioning. As we landed late, I had to race to get to what was the last flight of the day, so much so that I had no chance to change out of my BA uniform. I was tired and Nearly dozed after having the welcome aboard Bubbles as they now call them. This man suddenly laid into me. « What are you doing in there! My wife didn’t get her upgrade because of the likes of you. You’re airline so you should be in the back I’m Executive Platinum and we should not have staff upgraded over us! » I was in no mood to start arguing so I just got one of the Flight Attendants who happened to be the lead to deal with this. He kicked off at her, his wife started screaming and yelling and by this time the Captain came back. Everyone went out on the jetway and I have no idea what was said, but they went past me again down to Economy.
When I’m paying, I’m not moving.
Nov 6, 2019, 1:43 pm
#135
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Austin, TX - AUS
Programs: AA Platinum, Hilton, Hyatt, IHG, Marriott
Posts: 1,625
My Love, these sort of anecdotes are the life blood of FlyerTalk. They are the reason that I am here. These are simply priceless. The cheek of some people still manages to flabbergast me after all these years.
I once was aboard a flight to HNL from LAX in F. I was a proper fare payer rather than deadheading or positioning. As we landed late, I had to race to get to what was the last flight of the day, so much so that I had no chance to change out of my BA uniform. I was tired and Nearly dozed after having the welcome aboard Bubbles as they now call them. This man suddenly laid into me. « What are you doing in there! My wife didn’t get her upgrade because of the likes of you. You’re airline so you should be in the back I’m Executive Platinum and we should not have staff upgraded over us! » I was in no mood to start arguing so I just got one of the Flight Attendants who happened to be the lead to deal with this. He kicked off at her, his wife started screaming and yelling and by this time the Captain came back. Everyone went out on the jetway and I have no idea what was said, but they went past me again down to Economy.
When I’m paying, I’m not moving.
I once was aboard a flight to HNL from LAX in F. I was a proper fare payer rather than deadheading or positioning. As we landed late, I had to race to get to what was the last flight of the day, so much so that I had no chance to change out of my BA uniform. I was tired and Nearly dozed after having the welcome aboard Bubbles as they now call them. This man suddenly laid into me. « What are you doing in there! My wife didn’t get her upgrade because of the likes of you. You’re airline so you should be in the back I’m Executive Platinum and we should not have staff upgraded over us! » I was in no mood to start arguing so I just got one of the Flight Attendants who happened to be the lead to deal with this. He kicked off at her, his wife started screaming and yelling and by this time the Captain came back. Everyone went out on the jetway and I have no idea what was said, but they went past me again down to Economy.
When I’m paying, I’m not moving.