Jun 15, 2018, 3:18 pm
Last edit by: Prospero
There have been sufficient posts over the years on this topic so as to extend the scope of this thread from one instance to multiple instances of passengers asking to exchange seats with you.
The prevailing ideas of seat exchange etiquette seem to include:
Ask, don’t assume or surprise another passenger by poaching another passenger’s seat first, then asking when confronted. At that point, even for those willing, you’ll probably get a curt “no” reply - at best.
Ask nicely.
Try to have a reasonable purpose - you’re a companion to a person with a disability or condition requiring your assistance and the airline had no adjacent seats to sell.
Don’t expect a better seat to be granted for your worse seat. Ever.
Thank the other person. Shouting them a drink, etc. is even better.
Accept “no” gracefully; it wasn’t ever your seat.
The prevailing ideas of seat exchange etiquette seem to include:
Ask, don’t assume or surprise another passenger by poaching another passenger’s seat first, then asking when confronted. At that point, even for those willing, you’ll probably get a curt “no” reply - at best.
Ask nicely.
Try to have a reasonable purpose - you’re a companion to a person with a disability or condition requiring your assistance and the airline had no adjacent seats to sell.
Don’t expect a better seat to be granted for your worse seat. Ever.
Thank the other person. Shouting them a drink, etc. is even better.
Accept “no” gracefully; it wasn’t ever your seat.
The “would you change seats with me?” Master thread
Mar 29, 2021, 2:42 pm
#241
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: South Park, Metropolis
Programs: AA LT PLT 3MM, Hilton/Marriott/SPG/Club Carlson GLD, IHG PLT
Posts: 4,608
My wife and I witnessed a funny situation a few years back. ORD-SJU in F, lady in front of us asked her aisle companion if he could switch with her partner, sitting on the window on last row of F, he politely declined as he preferred aisle. Same situation happened to her friend when he asked his aisle travel mate to switch. It was obvious that aisle seaters preferred their seats, understood. We get on route to SJU, and the lady just keep talking over the aisle traveler to her partner on the row opposite to her, stood up a few times, to talk to him as well, got a few drinks from the FA. Eventually Mr. aisle seat had enough and decided to switch. She quieted/calmed down, but then the PDA's started, kissing, holding hands, touching each other's face, you get the idea. It was to the point that they needed a room for themselves. Us being literally behind them heard a few "panting" sounds. The FA had to intervene a few times, but it was to no avail.
Mar 29, 2021, 3:19 pm
#242
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Texas
Programs: Hyatt Glob (Barely); Marriott Plat Life; AA Up and Down Now Plat; Hilton, UA, BA, HA Peasant
Posts: 2,668
Been There
I was on a long haul overnight flight on an A321. I had a normal window seat, mid cabin, nothing special. BUT when I got to the airport I checked and the last row was completely empty - I changed to the window seat in that row. I checked and checked as long as it would let me to see if the seats were still open - all good. We board, I settle in, feeling like a champ. Right before they closed the door, a couple with a baby got on board. C, D, E were open in the Row A, B, F (me) were taken. Dude comes down and tells me I'm in his seat. I show him my ticket, and he says, no we are supposed to be in these seats. I asked to see his and he wouldn't show me. He asked me to switch to C. I said I chose this seat specifically so I could sleep (not to mention C and D in the backrows on a long haul - awful seats with people lining up for the lav). Then he says you'll have to sit next to this crying baby the whole trip and shakes his baby at me. I get it, better to have the whole row for you, mom, and baby, but I felt like C D E was manageable for them. Turns out the people in A and B overheard and I guess they are nicer than me so they volunteered to take D and E and give them A B C. The couple was super cool, nice, and they got why I didn't want to switch. Now here comes the kicker, right as I was starting to feel like maybe I was a jerk, the guy was walking up and down the aisle bouncing his baby around, I get that but was extra glad I wasn't in the aisle then getting bumped into on every pass. The FA stops him, at which point he tells the FA that he works for the airline and is nonrevving and got stuck in the last row. She expressed some sympathy and offered to bring them some extra drinks. So now it all became a little more clear. They had checked the flight and saw the open row when they got listed and then I changed seats and was ticketed in it, and when they got on they just assumed it was still open. Definitely should have checked their tickets and should have backed down the first time I said no, and definitely should have backed down as a nonrev (and maybe not even asked in the first place). I have moved seats a bunch of times - I even once made a mistake of agreeing to switch from A in MCE to A in Economy (I thought that row was still MCE) and stuck with it when I realized the mistake - I agreed to it, that's on me. It was a four hour flight though, so I vowed to know my seat maps better after that haha.
Mar 29, 2021, 7:32 pm
#245
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 93
I've ridden quite a few gifted passes. The rules were drilled into me by the gifting party because the blowback hits them hard. Even if the GA is having a bad day and shafted you to do their friend a favor (and that has happened to me). I can't imagine the problem person being an actual employee, or even a frequent guest. I'm guessing they arm-twisted somebody to get a pass.
Mar 29, 2021, 7:42 pm
#246
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Minneapolis: DL DM charter 2.3MM
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Posts: 100,404
Why even say thank you when just say no will do? Do you want to thank the person for trying to scam you out of a FC seat?
Mar 29, 2021, 7:45 pm
#247
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: SE Wisconsin
Programs: AA EXP, Hilton Diamond for Life
Posts: 337
Honestly, they were rude about it, but I didn’t complain and took her seat in the next (F) row.
Mar 30, 2021, 7:59 pm
#248
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: ATL/TLV/SDF
Programs: AA EXP, UA LT Ag, Marriott LT Ti, Hyatt Glob, Avis PC, Busted-Knuckles Club Grand Poobah.
Posts: 2,590
Sometimes you just have to let it go and be a decent human being. And sometimes you hold your ground. Don't ever dare to offer me a worse seat.
Mar 30, 2021, 9:24 pm
#249
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: DTW
Programs: Marriott Platinum, SPG Platinum, Hilton Diamond
Posts: 393
I had seat 1a on a November flight. I got in late and an older lady was sitting in my seat. I looked at her and asked her if she said she had the right seat. She said she didn’t know and that since she was handicapped she had a right to this seat. Didn’t even tell me where she moved from. Luckily a gentlemen next to me told me that she probably had 4a so I sat there. I didn’t want to make a fuss but man that really pissed me off.
Mar 30, 2021, 9:39 pm
#250
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: KUSA
Programs: Whatever AMEX Plat comes with... I buy on price.. Spirit Big Front Seat, want First/buy First
Posts: 1,475
Years ago I had a flight on US Airways (well guess that's now fitting for AA forum).... I was on board in my exit row aisle seat and an older woman comes up to me toward the end of boarding and loudly says, "Boy, you're in my seat." I pulled out my boarding pass and said nope, this is my seat. She told me I needed to get up because she was just given that seat. I pushed the call button. About a minute later the gate agent comes down and told me "Get your things and come with me." Thinking this was a battle not to be worthwhile, I grabbed my bag down and followed him to the front. We get into First Class and he hands me a boarding pass for my upgrade and just points to the seat and turns to go into the front galley. I put my bag overhead and then went up front as he was about to exit and told him that while 1.) I appreciate the upgrade, 2.) he is an a** for how he handled it and presented himself, and 3.) I would have given him one of those certificates we used to get as CPs to recognize but 4.) now I was going to write a complaint, then went back to my seat. Flight attendant gave me a high five with my PDB.
Mar 31, 2021, 4:35 am
#251
Fontaine d'honneur du Flyertalk
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Morbihan, France
Programs: Reine des Muccis de Pucci; Foreign Elitist (according to others)
Posts: 19,175
Did you actually complain? Personally I would have just let it go grateful that he did not put that woman in that seat. He could have done and you'd have been none the wiser.
Mar 31, 2021, 4:42 am
#252
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Join Date: Aug 2014
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Posts: 11,666
That was definitely excessive, he upgraded him and he said he will file a complaint, c’mon.
Apr 1, 2021, 7:11 pm
#253
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That's an excellent "What if?" question, but No, I'm absolutely certain she was somewhere back in Main Cabin. The only females behind us in FC that weren't next to windows were old enough to be his mother. Plus, a flight attendant brought a message up to him from the daughter at some point.
As for my *maybe* granting the request for the 30-minute flight between SEA and PDX, it would depend on his honest answer to some one-in-50-billion scenario question, such as, "Is she the one sitting back there by Penelope Cruz?"
As for my *maybe* granting the request for the 30-minute flight between SEA and PDX, it would depend on his honest answer to some one-in-50-billion scenario question, such as, "Is she the one sitting back there by Penelope Cruz?"
Apr 1, 2021, 7:29 pm
#254
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Eastern Shore of Lake Michigan; Formerly SEA
Programs: AS MVPG | oneworld Sapphire
Posts: 578
Thanks, everyone.Having had a week to reflect on the experience, what I can't get past is the fact that Mr. 2C valued having his FC cake without thinking he could instead join or remain with his daughter 'back there', or split the FC time with her, or--Heavens to Murgatroyd!--let HER have the FC experience the whole way. I'm wondering how she felt about being disrespected that way. I'd certainly have felt that's what I was doing if I did that to either of my children, disrespecting them, but I of course don't know their particular story leading up to that day.
In the end, we all landed safely at OGG.
Apr 1, 2021, 7:33 pm
#255
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Eastern Shore of Lake Michigan; Formerly SEA
Programs: AS MVPG | oneworld Sapphire
Posts: 578
A few years back I was flying ORD-TPA, and I was lucky enough to have been upgraded. Upon boarding I find Anita Piniella in my bulkhead seat. She and Lou were headed back home at the end of his LAST season with the Cubs. Apparently they were not seated together originally.
Honestly, they were rude about it, but I didn’t complain and took her seat in the next (F) row.
Honestly, they were rude about it, but I didn’t complain and took her seat in the next (F) row.