A random personal question...
 

I have a random personal question for you frequent travelers. Let me start by saying I work for a large consulting firm and frequently travel for work. Just tonight I was commiserating with some fellow colleagues and a few clients. Essentially, we were discussing how you determine if you’re traveling too much for your job. At what threshold does it become too much? Personally, I used to really enjoy the travel and getting to see new places. However, it has lately become a cause for concern for myself, and my girlfriend who would like to see me more than on the weekends.

I have a couple of questions, and sharing info is completely voluntary on your part. I know these posts sometimes sound suspicious – but I am merely having an epiphany in my life and I’m trying to determine if the job I truly love requires me to travel too much. Essentially, I want to tap into your collective knowledge and determine if my concern is normal or if I should start looking for the next tall building from which to jump.

How do you know if you’re traveling too much? (I ask because I’m 26 years old and I just rolled over 900,000 miles on AA, not to mention other airlines. Sadly, less than 50,000 have come from partner programs like rental cars and hotels.) Relatively speaking, is it normal among the “frequent traveler” crowd to approach this many miles at 26?

More importantly, do you have any good tips on how to have the best of both worlds (travel and healthy balance of home life)?

Thanks in advance to any who reply. I apologize that my post offers no advice on how to improve your travels. But I figure if any group can understand my concern and offer advice – it would be you.

WOW - I agree with you. I really do think there is a point where enough is enough.

I am PLT at AA (have been since '99 i think). As much as I would like to be EXP, I honestly feel that for me, it is just too much travel.

I work hard at limiting myself to three business trips per month. Any more than that causes problems on two fronts:
a. There is no slack in my schedule for a personal emergency such as illness or serious family matters.
b. There is no slack to take up a good business deal that comes along needing immediate attention.
Try to think of ways to do your business without travelling (teleconferencing) if this is possible.

[b]Personally, I used to really enjoy the travel and getting to see new places. However, it has lately become a cause for concern for myself, and my girlfriend who would like to see me more than on the weekends.[b]

Welcome to FT, RandyGiblets. I'll bet that you will be a good contributor to this board!

With reference to your statement above... please forgive me if I am reading between the lines too much...but it seems that you are saying that you enjoyed your job, including the travel aspect, until your girlfriend began saying that she wanted to see you more than just on the weekends. May I ask...if her attitude was different -- if you and she enjoyed each other on the weekends and on the phone during the week, with no whining about not being able to be with you during the week -- leaving you guiltless for not being in the same town, would you be happier.

Or are YOU truly not happy being on the road as much as you have been. I bring it up not to pry into your personal life, but to emphasize that you did not mention missing HER during the week. It sounds like she is putting pressure on you.

From the "for what it's worth dept"...

Good point. Actually I have a little guilt, but I would honestly like to spend more time with her. But its more than just that. Its the whole traveling thing. I think it would help a lot if I could snag an "in-town" engagement and stop traveling for awhile. Sadly, for my line of consulting I find that you need to be where your client is - which means I travel a lot. At least for now. To get to my point - no harm in reading between the lines. Actually, my girlfriend is really understanding. It is me that does the whining and missing her. I know she feels the same but she's really good about not piling on since she knows it would only make me feel worse. Thank for you replies so far. If nothing else, its good to know I'm not the only crazy traveler. And who knows, maybe I can start using some of the advice I'll receive from this string.

I find that for me personally, I have the following reactions over a 21-day period:

0-3 days away - I go stir crazy
4-6 days - about right, especially if not stressful trips
7-9 days - attention to my personal life starts to suffer if I'm not careful (eating right, seeing friends, paying bills)
10+ days - Not good, unless some of it is vacation

So, I try to schedule two three-day trips (fly out Monday night, fly back Thursday night) every three weeks, about six 3-day weekends a year away, and four 4-5 day trips/year (three to Europe, one golfing in the US/Canada).

A possible suggestion: If you're travelling out Monday back Friday every week, see if you can stay the weekend someplace once every 5-6 weeks and bring your girlfriend out, using miles to cover a very nice hotel. Eventually, she'll get elite status and who knows, she might become a mileage junkie like the rest of us!

Seriously though, good luck in your quest.

Randy,

I feel your pain. My girlfriend is in Jersey and I'm in the Bay Area. At least your significant other is in your home base, I think. I try to schedule in a monthly visit, but this isn't enough for her. With the economy slowing, my travel has significantly decreased which keeps me on the ground more, but further away from her.

I've been keeping my eye on a position with another company, but it's another travel deal where I could be like you away from her constantly while she is at home.

OTOH, I've met many couples on flights where one works on the west and the other back east. One couple has been this way for at least 30 yrs. I met the wife on one of my SFO-JFK commutes. She works for a company in SFO and does a lot of intl travel. Her husband owns a business in NYC. They both meet each other at their home in NY for the weekends. But for her, she says the travel keeps her young; she looked very good for a woman in her fifties.

But, keep this in focus; if it's still fun, then there are no problems, keep going at it. There's no use in working a job you don't like. I'm going on 28, so both of us have a long ways to go for careers. I think I'll stop when I'm completely worn out. One guy that I know quit when he started to cringe everytime he passed EWR on the turnpike.

I still get that adrenaline rush every time I hit the road. So, I guess I have a while to go.

Welcome to Flyertalk!

Let me first start by saying that, if you are 26 and have 900,000 miles..... yes, you are traveling too much. Too much for a lifetime, probably, not just for the few years you have most likely put in up to this point. But lets face it, with your line of work, travel is a given, and most people know that the peak earning potential years are from 25-40, so you are likely not much different than most of those in your career and age group.

Having said that, I now jump to the other side of the fence and say that, as the wife of someone who does 200,000 miles a year in the air and averages 20 days a month away from his family (3 young children), it is extremely difficult to maintain a healthy balance between work and home without one or both suffering at least somewhat. Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day, no more, no less. But so many of us these days are cramming so much more into that day that it reaches a saturation point. When my husband worked for a small company, he often extended business trips over a Saturday night to save the company on air fare. Did he get comp time? Yes. Did he ever take it? No. Did he miss birthdays, and soccer games, and school plays? Yes. (Get a good camcorder.) Did the cat throw up on our den carpet while my husband was eating at Ruths Chris Steakhouse, or The Mansions at Turtle Creek? Of course. Am I bitter? No. (Well, maybe a little.) But I try to be understanding, knowing that this is the trade off we have made, grateful that I have been able to stay home with my children when other mothers have had to go out and work. And although we spend much time apart, his frequent traveling has enabled our family of 5 to visit exotic locales and countries that we never would have been able to go to if it weren't for FF miles (and Hilton Gold challenges, etc....thank you FT !!)

Is it an ideal situation? For many people, no. It takes great patience and understanding on both parts, the traveler and the one who stays at home and takes care of the burst pipes and the sick kids. And it is not a situation to enter into lightly. It is also one that needs periodic re-evaluation. I always seem to feel I can live this way for another year and a half. (I've been saying that for 3 years.) And when my husband tells me he can't wait to become a Million Miler, I tell him it will be with his second wife, not with this one! Extensive travel by one's partner must be agreeable to both, I feel, or the situation is destined to be difficult. Better that you recognize and address the potential stresses now, than after too much time and travel has come between you.


[This message has been edited by flyerwife (edited 05-29-2001).]

Hi RandyGiblets,

You've asked a great question! Recently I've been asking myself similar questions, as my travel schedule this year has been mind numbing, to say the least.

I joined a startup computer software company about 3 years ago, and each year I've been traveling more and more, as my responsibilities have increased. Here's my "snapshot":

I'm 25 years old. American Airlines gets the vast majority of my travel dollars, and hence my AAdvantage account most clearly shows how much I've been traveling. [This year I have made a concerted effort to divert some of my travel business to other carriers for a multitude of reasons.] My AAdvantage account sits at 1.75M Program-to-Date miles. Since the beginning of this year, I've flown just over 106,000 miles, and most of those miles have been flown on long-haul international trips. I qualified for EXP in 1999 by miles only (almost entirely domestic travel), and more than double qualified for EXP in 2000 on both miles and points (more international than domestic, maybe a 60/40 split). This year I have been spending 20-25 days per month on the road. My trips home are generally short, and sometimes they're 12 hour (or less!) "pit stops" to empty and re-pack my suitcase.

I am beginning to reach the point where I say "enough is enough". However, I truly enjoy the challenges my work brings to me. My commitment to my work has brought me great success, both professionally and financially. Very early retirement is not just a hope, but it's a reality. It's not being handed to me on a silver platter, but when I gripe internally about how much time I spend away from friends, etc., I try to remind myself that the sacrifices I'm making today are guaranteeing that I won't have to think about money tomorrow.

So, when I ask myself the question, "Am I traveling too much?", I answer with a quick "yes". My schedule does not generally allow for much of a margin of error. If a plane is delayed 4 hours, I risk postponing a meeting for several weeks. My stress levels run high at times, as a result!!

Am I ready to "stop the madness" yet? Not yet http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif I see myself doing this about another year longer, then I will take a few steps back and evaluate my situation. I don't want to get old traveling like this, nor do I want to incite long-term health problems by trying to maintain this crazy schedule. That said, as a single 25 year old, I can't think of a better time in my life to have a position that requires such a strong commitment and a willingness to travel as much as I currently do. When I compare myself to other 25 year olds, I thank my lucky stars that I've earned the opportunity to do what I have done, professionally, and see the places I've seen.

I'm the first to admit that I've done a horrible job at keeping any sense of balance in my life. But as I said before, I won't continue at this pace forever, but I will continue to do it until I can't stand it any more. Talk to me in December!! http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

I have been traveling between 30-35% for as long as I've been married (13 1/2 years). When we were dating, my travel was also in this range. My wife always knew that I loved to travel, whether business or pleasure, and just learned to live with it. Travel is part of my life, just as she is.

Over the years there have been many times she complained about the level of travel (especially when it temporarily balloons to 50-60%), but we are still married. She bought into the package that is me, and recognized that asking me to consider a stay-at-home job, would not "improve" our lives a great deal.

Now, nearly sixteen years into our relationship I am being asked (well "told" is a better description) that my job's domicile is being moved to the New York area. I can say without hesitation that my wife would condone me traveling 60-70% if this eliminated the need to move. My point is that your girlfriend has to reconcile your travel schedule with her desire to maintain the relationship with you. If you feel that traveling for business is a necessity (both for the economic need and self-fulfillment purposes), this is something she'll have to accept in order to allow your relationship to flourish.

Oh to be 26 again and have 900k under my belt. Randy, I have had the same thoughts, but for different reasons. I'm in federal law enforcement and I'm in a desk job for the next two years. I do get to travel a lot, and that is the only time I enjoy my current assignment. I love to travel and really look forward to hitting the road. I mean I really love everything about it, the airport, trying to get bumped, free soap at the hotel--everything. My problem is I hate to be away from my wife and five year old daughter, so I take them along whenever I can. I have about racked up about 700k miles on various airlines, few of which I can use for personal travel because of gov't regulations, so I come out of pocket a lot. My suggestion is for you to start flying your girlfriend out with you on some of your better trips. I find that wives (and I'm sure girlfriends) can find all sorts of ways to amuse themselves on our per diem, while we are working. Enjoy the travel now and when you're ready to settle down, you'll have enough miles for a lifetime of family vacations. Best of luck http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

Well, speaking as a fellow 26 year old, 900,000 miles is decent. I'm well on my way to my second million on AA (and to my first on UA and DL).

There is most definitely such a thing as too much travel -- I do it.

When you get kitchen privlidges at a hotel because you're there 100 nights a year, that's too much travel.

When you recognize flight attendants on four or more routes, out of three or more bases, that's too much travel.

When the gate personnel at multiple cities with multiple airlines greet you with, "Hello Mr. X. Can I see your photo ID please for security purposes?" that's too much travel.

When you're time at home is just sufficient to pay your bills, but you have stacks of mail waiting to be dealt with "someday", that's too much travel.

When you cycle through your friends at home, and only see each of them every 2-3 months because of "secheduling issues" with your being out of town so much, that's too much travel.

When you run into your roomate in airports more than you see him at home, that's too much travel.

When your credit card company FAXes you your notes with a cover sheet that says, "We know you don't read your mail because you're never home, so we thought...", that's too much travel.

When you can comment on the trans-con menus in FC on two airlines, every single month, and make intelligent recommendations based on personal experience, that's too much travel.

Too much travel? That is when I have to keep two lots of travel gear on the go as I have not time for the laundry to complete before flying out. When I have to decline more than one dinner party a month. When you realise that the person that you live with has got used to you not being around, and slightly resents having to share living space. Finally when you feel that you really cannot bear traipsing though the dreary car pary at Heathrow at 6.30am with 15 mins left to go.

Not suprisingly, there are as many answers to the question as there are respondents. Personally, I would prefer to travel professionally 3-4 days a week. I simply enjoy seeing new parts of the country or world, learning about new companies and businesses and feeling a sense of purpose I can hard to replicate behind a desk. From a leisure perspective, I try to schedule two out-of-town trips per month. I have friends in cities across the US (and in more than a few other countries), and a personal goal is to try and keep up with as many of them as possible.

The only time I really began to feel as if I was travelling too much was during a four-month period in 1999 when I flew from JFK to LHR every on Sunday or Monday, and returned on Friday or Saturday. Not enough downtime at home between trips (fortunately work paid for all of my laundry and dry cleaning in the UK), too difficult to keep up with other people and projects at work, and a complete loss of a regular bio-clock was just too much.

About 10 years ago I worked in management for an airline and logged over 400 sectors in two years (why use the phone transatlantic when they can put you in an empty J seat for nothing).

At the time I was single, mid 20s and hard driving and enjoyed every minute of it.

Fair to say that those two years took the fun out of business travel for me, especially as virtually every trip took me through the joy that is MIA, and with no elite perks (on airline staff tickets!).

10 years later I find myself travelling a reasonable amount again, but I am most conscious of balancing that now that I am married with two small children....PLT I am comfortable with, but I sincerely hope I never get to EXP, as that would be too far out of balance for me....

Guess my point is that it often depends on what stage of life you are at !