[Rant] No, I don't want to move to the bulkhead. Next time don't ask.
#46
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Pacific Northwest
Programs: UA Gold 1MM, AS 75k, AA Plat, Bonvoyed Gold, Honors Dia, Hyatt Explorer, IHG Plat, ...
Posts: 16,632
(removes ear buds)
“Entschuldigen Sie, je ne sprechen inglés.”
(plugs ear buds back in, closes eyes)
“Entschuldigen Sie, je ne sprechen inglés.”
(plugs ear buds back in, closes eyes)
#47
Join Date: May 2009
Location: EUG
Programs: AS MVP, AA MM, HH Diamond, MR Gold
Posts: 8,212
Cute. But ya know, it makes me wonder if the lady in 1A was really "sleeping" or she heard the conversations about switching and didn't want to move so that was her way to get out of it.
#48
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Nashville,TN
Programs: AA Gold Elite
Posts: 600
The last time someone asked me to switch seats(from an aisle to a middle!) was to be close to her two girls both were under age 10. I politely declined and later discovered she was in the wrong row, wrong side of the aisle and the wrong seat. It was not a long flight but glad I chose to not allow her poor planning to inconvenience me or other passengers.
#49
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Eastern Shore of Lake Michigan; Formerly SEA
Programs: AS MVPG | oneworld Sapphire
Posts: 578
I hope you can take some good-natured ribbing, because that's all I mean this as, but this paragraph of yours sounds INCREDIBLE when read out loud in an angry drunken Highlander Scottish accent:
And I am unanimous in that, Lassie!
I might (and in fact will) suggest that if this were a run if the mill seat swap thread, the thread would be on different rails (or rails altogether). The "don't ask" plus regrets that may last a lifetime (or the lifetime of FT) are the issue. At least with this poster (as in me, not the OP). And I am unanimous in that!
And I am unanimous in that, Lassie!
Last edited by Ford Fairlane; Aug 14, 2022 at 10:42 pm Reason: sp.
#50
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: SEA, NW/DL 1.6Million Miler
Programs: DL 1MM Annual Silver,AS 100K 22-24, AS 75K 15-21
Posts: 4,263
Tho I still like aisle seats, my major gripes had been the choice of F entrees. Now that we can pre-reserve F meals, it has become easier to giving up my seat to others for comparable seat. With that said, I will likely not surrender my reserved seat if my meal choice had not been pre-selected.
Jiburi
Jiburi
#51
Suspended
Join Date: Feb 2022
Posts: 853
I have a lot of social anxiety and don't like this situation at all. I feel like if I wanted to have conflict with other members of the flying public over seating, I should fly Southwest. I literally fly instead AA, AS, and UA to avoid these exact type of encounters.
Look, I don't want to move. Unlike most, 1C is my seat, I pick it for a very specific reason, and it's because of my anxiety. 1C is by far the best seat to see into the cockpit, to hear the gate agent, FAs, captains talk about everything. If there's a MX I'm first to know. I have the preflight FA routines memorized and they significantly reduce my anxiety to follow along with the mental checklist that they're going through. 1C is the best seat in the house to study the airline ops and really helps me relax.
My last flight SEA-CMH on AS I was of course in 1C and then the 2 upgrades had the same last name and were in 1A and 1D. I saw this as soon as I got up in Seattle. So my anxiety got triggered and I basically worried the whole way to SEA that these people were going to ask me to move. I was sure of it. I kept debating if I was going to "stand up for myself" and politely say no, I have 1C for a reason, or whether I was just going to acquiesce and let them sit together.
I thought back to the last time I had a similar conflict. I refused to switch, and the husband of the asking party got all mad at me (and the FA seemed quite annoyed) and it was just an uncomfortable flight the whole way. So it's really a lose-lose. I'm anxious and uncomfortable either way unless I'm in 1C like I pay for or save up miles for. (No I'm not in F 100% of the time sadly, and while I prefer 1C, 6C or 8C in MCE or Alaska or United premium is just fine with me. I'm on an aisle with legroom and can still see/hear most of what's going on).
So I decided that I was just going to move if asked and avoid conflict. I really don't like 1D though as it's much harder to see what's going on in the forward galley and cockpit.
It turns out 1A sat down and then 1D did in his seat as well. Uhhhh... wait, they're not going to ask me? So then I thought I would try to conquer a bit of social anxiety and maybe help them out in the process. I offer to the guy to move to 1D so that they could sit together. I really appreciated that they didn't ask, too, and put me in the position, so I thought I would return that kindness and offer up 1C.
Moral of the story: I am not exaggerating a bit, either the lady in 1A or the guy who I switched with stank so badly of urine the entire flight that I had to mask up and turn into the full-blast air vent in the middle of 1D and F to even survive the lengthy flight. It was the worst a fellow passenger has ever smelled next to me on a flight. I assume perhaps one of them had a medical incontinence issue or something, but it was foul, like cat urine foul. So, by switching, it saved me from being in between them. I consider myself very lucky.
Look, I don't want to move. Unlike most, 1C is my seat, I pick it for a very specific reason, and it's because of my anxiety. 1C is by far the best seat to see into the cockpit, to hear the gate agent, FAs, captains talk about everything. If there's a MX I'm first to know. I have the preflight FA routines memorized and they significantly reduce my anxiety to follow along with the mental checklist that they're going through. 1C is the best seat in the house to study the airline ops and really helps me relax.
My last flight SEA-CMH on AS I was of course in 1C and then the 2 upgrades had the same last name and were in 1A and 1D. I saw this as soon as I got up in Seattle. So my anxiety got triggered and I basically worried the whole way to SEA that these people were going to ask me to move. I was sure of it. I kept debating if I was going to "stand up for myself" and politely say no, I have 1C for a reason, or whether I was just going to acquiesce and let them sit together.
I thought back to the last time I had a similar conflict. I refused to switch, and the husband of the asking party got all mad at me (and the FA seemed quite annoyed) and it was just an uncomfortable flight the whole way. So it's really a lose-lose. I'm anxious and uncomfortable either way unless I'm in 1C like I pay for or save up miles for. (No I'm not in F 100% of the time sadly, and while I prefer 1C, 6C or 8C in MCE or Alaska or United premium is just fine with me. I'm on an aisle with legroom and can still see/hear most of what's going on).
So I decided that I was just going to move if asked and avoid conflict. I really don't like 1D though as it's much harder to see what's going on in the forward galley and cockpit.
It turns out 1A sat down and then 1D did in his seat as well. Uhhhh... wait, they're not going to ask me? So then I thought I would try to conquer a bit of social anxiety and maybe help them out in the process. I offer to the guy to move to 1D so that they could sit together. I really appreciated that they didn't ask, too, and put me in the position, so I thought I would return that kindness and offer up 1C.
Moral of the story: I am not exaggerating a bit, either the lady in 1A or the guy who I switched with stank so badly of urine the entire flight that I had to mask up and turn into the full-blast air vent in the middle of 1D and F to even survive the lengthy flight. It was the worst a fellow passenger has ever smelled next to me on a flight. I assume perhaps one of them had a medical incontinence issue or something, but it was foul, like cat urine foul. So, by switching, it saved me from being in between them. I consider myself very lucky.
You did a great job of explaining why those who make these requests are using the unspoken threat of conflict to get their way, which is repugnant.
Then, you lose your nerve and give in because of the implied threat, but claim somehow that was the right thing to do because a one in a million situation occurred that made it work out better?
If not for the incontinence you knew nothing about, it was just conflict avoidance.
99% of the time nothing medical is involved(that's a matter for the airline to accommodate in any case), it's just a matter of preference, and you would've simply suffered for your lack of ability to say no. All for the benefit of an extrovert who has no problem imposing on those lacking the willpower to deny them.
The best way to avoid these impositions is to adopt a stern appearance when approached by some rando before takeoff.
BECOME the implied threat of conflict. You can always smile later if circumstances warrant. 9/10 the seat predator will move on to an easier target and not even ask.
After approaching and catching my eye, I've literally seen them, mouth agape, request caught in in their throat, pivoting to ask another passenger.
Last edited by Ghoulish; Aug 15, 2022 at 4:53 am
#52
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: SEA (the REAL Washington); occasionally in the other Washington (DCA area)
Programs: DL PM 1.57MM; AS MVPG 100K
Posts: 21,309
#53
Suspended
Join Date: Feb 2022
Posts: 853
After growing a full beard (my first) during the pandemic I caught a peripheral glimpse passing a mirror and had a fright, "omg there's scary looking guy in my house!"
That, and the subsequent change in the way interactions went from then on made me realize looking like the "scary monkey" triggers primal instincts of deference in some, and preparation for conflict in others. 😂
That, and the subsequent change in the way interactions went from then on made me realize looking like the "scary monkey" triggers primal instincts of deference in some, and preparation for conflict in others. 😂
#54
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Programs: AA, HH, UA, Amtrak
Posts: 270
I am dealing how OP assumes things, I didn't say they have to give up their seat to anyone.
#55
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Danville, CA, USA;
Programs: UA 1MM, WN CP, Marriott LT Plat, Hilton Gold, IC Plat
Posts: 15,662
There is a similar running thread on this topic in the UA forum.
There is nothing wrong with refusing a request. I get particularly upset with passengers who go for the presumptive switch by planting themselves in my seat before I get on the plane, which is an automatic no. But there are always exceptions.
Last month I flew to AMS and was asked to switch by a couple with a baby (my seat was in the aisle in front of the mother). My initial reaction was hell no but I softened up after I confirmed that the proposed seat was a comparable aisle on the other side of the plane. (It is always good practice to verify the actual seat, as there have been instances where people have been scammed into middle seats in the back).
Many of us go to some effort to book our seats months in advance, so I know how it feels when these best laid plans are disrupted. In the OPs situation I would have probably rejected the request, as I don't care much for the bulkhead myself. (In fact I have done so in years past.) Their failure to secure adjacent seats from the airline is not my problem.
There is nothing wrong with refusing a request. I get particularly upset with passengers who go for the presumptive switch by planting themselves in my seat before I get on the plane, which is an automatic no. But there are always exceptions.
Last month I flew to AMS and was asked to switch by a couple with a baby (my seat was in the aisle in front of the mother). My initial reaction was hell no but I softened up after I confirmed that the proposed seat was a comparable aisle on the other side of the plane. (It is always good practice to verify the actual seat, as there have been instances where people have been scammed into middle seats in the back).
Many of us go to some effort to book our seats months in advance, so I know how it feels when these best laid plans are disrupted. In the OPs situation I would have probably rejected the request, as I don't care much for the bulkhead myself. (In fact I have done so in years past.) Their failure to secure adjacent seats from the airline is not my problem.
#56
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: YVR, HNL
Programs: AS 75k, UA peon, BA Bronze, AC E50k, Marriott Plat, HH Diamond, Fairmont Plat (RIP)
Posts: 7,818
I just had pretty much the same scenario. I had chosen my coveted 2C. I thought it strange that this couple kept storming the boarding gate despite being sent back twice when they had called only for preboards, families and active duty military. The third time, the GA just let them board. It made sense when I boarded and found the woman ensconced in my seat, blanket unwrapped and over her knees. She said she wanted to sit with her husband and I could take the bulkhead. Um, no thank you. I said I was happy with my seat and she made a bit of a scene. They were last minute upgrades, by the way. I just moved to the front to let people behind me pass and told the FA. The woman tried again to stay put, saying all seats are the same. In the end, she huffily moved and they managed to convince two other people to move around and ended up in 2D/F. It frosts me when people bully others into getting their way.
#57
Suspended
Join Date: Feb 2022
Posts: 853
I just had pretty much the same scenario. I had chosen my coveted 2C. I thought it strange that this couple kept storming the boarding gate despite being sent back twice when they had called only for preboards, families and active duty military. The third time, the GA just let them board. It made sense when I boarded and found the woman ensconced in my seat, blanket unwrapped and over her knees. She said she wanted to sit with her husband and I could take the bulkhead. Um, no thank you. I said I was happy with my seat and she made a bit of a scene. They were last minute upgrades, by the way. I just moved to the front to let people behind me pass and told the FA. The woman tried again to stay put, saying all seats are the same. In the end, she huffily moved and they managed to convince two other people to move around and ended up in 2D/F. It frosts me when people bully others into getting their way.
#58
Join Date: May 2009
Location: EUG
Programs: AS MVP, AA MM, HH Diamond, MR Gold
Posts: 8,212
I just had pretty much the same scenario. I had chosen my coveted 2C. I thought it strange that this couple kept storming the boarding gate despite being sent back twice when they had called only for preboards, families and active duty military. The third time, the GA just let them board. It made sense when I boarded and found the woman ensconced in my seat, blanket unwrapped and over her knees. She said she wanted to sit with her husband and I could take the bulkhead. Um, no thank you. I said I was happy with my seat and she made a bit of a scene. They were last minute upgrades, by the way. I just moved to the front to let people behind me pass and told the FA. The woman tried again to stay put, saying all seats are the same. In the end, she huffily moved and they managed to convince two other people to move around and ended up in 2D/F. It frosts me when people bully others into getting their way.
#59
Moderator: Alaska Mileage Plan
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 12,288
The best strategy for a situation like this is to be nice and have reasonable expectations.