The first-class passenger from Hell
 

Long, but hopefully entertaining.

In the past, most of my "passenger from Hell" stories are from sitting in coach. However, I had a first last week. I had an F passenger that I wished I could have, a) punched, b) forcefully disembarked at 35k feet, or c) duct-taped and gagged for the remainder of our flight.

I was on AS 245 MEX-LAX. It all started at the gate. As the gate agent started her pre-boarding announcements, I began the customary slow waltz to the queue, knowing that F and Gold will be boarding shortly. Right as the GA announced, "at this time, we would like to welcome our..." a woman came FLYING past me to be first in line. Slightly annoyed, I became more annoyed when - as is customary when departing a foreign country - i stopped for the gate security search while her two friends blew past the security and down the jet way, Mexican security yelling at them the entire way, which they ignored.

It gets better (or worse).

I sit down in 2C and look across the aisle and here is Gate Stampeder (heretofore now referred to simply as GS) herself in 2D. General boarding has now commenced and many folks have their Duty Free items with them. In Mexico, liquids, gels and other "dangerous" items are brought to you at the gate, past the security so you don't have to worry about going through a check with those items. One of GS's accomplices says, "Hey, they have their Duty Fee stuff. Did we have to get that outside?", to which GS says, "Oh no, we are in first, they bring them to us on board.". If the F service wasn't so bad, I would have choked on my pre-flight beverage. I looked at GS rather incredulously and said, "No, you were supposed to get them before you boarded. It was right after that security checkpoint you blew through". She was allowed to leave the plane, go get her overpriced bottles of tequila, and re-board. At this point, I was chuckling because I know that they have no clue that they still have to go through US security and those bottles are now destined for checked luggage and chances of surviving intact are slim.

Now we are airborne. GS decides to make F her own personal bar, and ordered at least six glasses of wine, and it would have been seven as she tried to get another glass as the FAs were being seated for landing! She was loud, to the point that her friends even told her to shut up. She squealed like a 14 year old girl, she "flirted" with the guy in 1D my flicking his ear and kicking his seat. She snapped her fingers at the FA when she needed something, even if the FA was busy with another F passenger. I am not kidding. What did the FA do? She encouraged her by taking pictures for them, bringing her more drinks and essentially ignoring the rest of F.

As we started our descent, an FA started going through the sequence of what happens when we deplane, including customs and security. When she got to the part about all liquids and gels over 3ozs must be put in checked luggage, GS freaked out like this measure was just in place somewhere over Tijuana. I would have liked to stick around after we landed just to see what GS did with those bottles, but I had only carry-on so I got through customs very quickly, and was the first out of the international terminal heading back to terminal 3.

Thank God she was nowhere to be found on LAX-PDX.

Deplorable.

you should call her T instead

for TRASH!!!!!

wow, flicking his ear? did the guy keep his cool?

I can't decide if this lady is better off sober or drunk.

Last time I flew MEX-LAX was in F and there was one seriously hot/trashy mama in 1D. She could have passed for a prostitute but her behavior was nothing like what you describe. I assumed she was non-rev because she was familiar with one of the GAs.

ear flicking
 

If it were Jessica Alba sitting behind me, i would have kept my cool. But this woman was one of those, "eh, maybe was cute 15 years ago" types. :-)

sounds like a fun flight.... i'd have accidentally spilled something :)

but on a side note, still being a grad student i pick up bottles of booze in CA when I'm there, put them in my checked bag(s) and bring them back up to WA to obviate the 2X taxes (seriously, it costs 2X CA prices for most liquor).. and have never had a problem with them breaking - though I do make sure to pack them pretty well.


and i'd say that 6 drinks is probably the most you could get away with on a flight less than 3 hours, so i order doubles :)

Wow! Makes me really appreciate my uneventful flights that much more!
:D

Ive experienced a beligerent drunk in 4A while I was in 3C in February from SEA-ANC. He was actually tanked when he boarded at proceeded to talk...or actually use his outside voice to tell the cabin and anybody else who would listen about how his employer had to book him in F because no other seats were available and how many drinks he just had blah blah blah. Basically he drank half way(FA cut him off) and talked loud and obnoxious the entire way. When he got cut off he started smart mouthing off to the FA and to 2 pax with a baby. Actually a well behaved baby except crying on approach(due to ear issues I imagine). Before we even got to the gate he jumped up climbed over the person in 4C(poor guy) and ran to the front and waited to get off first! I dont think anybody cared either. We were all glad to see him go, good riddance

Did you at least get the warm nut cocktail???...This is a good example of why we should be extra nice to the F/A's for having to endure these types of shenanigans!

That doesn't sound to outrageous. I mean she didn't get up and do a strip tease or anything.

I was on a flt a few years back CUN-SEA. There was a family of 4 on the flt. The parents were in FC, and the kids were in coach. They had what appeared to be the max allowable in duty free liquor. During the course of the flt I overhead them discussing their connecting flight. :rolleyes:

It probably happens on every int'l flight. I wonder what they did with all that liquor?

FC Px SFO-CUN
 

I sat next to a FC Passenger from Hell this past Feb from SFO-CUN. He boarded the plane with the "people who need assistance" which I thought was tacky and then when I boarded with the other FC passengers and sat in the seat next to him, I could hear him talking loudly into his cell phone about how his partner split up with him and blah blah blah. His conversation on his cell phone was so loud that people in coach could hear the entire converstation and they weren't happy. There was an older couple seating in row 1 who I guess had a bottle of water in the overhead bin that spilled on this guys bag. He flipped out and verbally assaulted this poor old lady. I felt bad for her. Yes, she made a mistake but he was very rude about it. Then he proceded to verbally assault the FC F/A and another F/A that was working coach when she made the mistake of walking through the FC cabin. I usually like to strike up a conversation with those sitting near me but I made a point to ignore this guy the entire trip. He just upset me with the way he treated other people. I ended up giving a Gold thank you certificate to the F/A in coach that was verbally assaulted by the guy and told her to ignore the guy because he was having a bad day and to thank her for being professional about it. Like many on this forum, I've flown a lot and this had to be the worst passenger I've sat next to in coach or first.