Welcome to the board, Graham, and to FD in Wonderland!
You have already peered through the looking-glass and identified the perverse logic that forms the basis of FD policy :
On the one hand, regular, frequent and loyal passengers should be completely ignored. If this is not possible, they should be treated with a complete lack of flexibility and generosity.
On the other hand, anybody who will submit a sworn statement that they have never set foot in a KLM aircraft, and never intend to, will be given an elite card, preferably for several years. Occasionally, a couple of hundred thousand miles will be thrown in as a bonus.
Good luck in your quest for a GE card.
johan