Good lord. Stay home. There's no shame in that. You are willing to check in to a hotel where you are going to sleep in a bed that has been slept in by hundreds -- maybe thousands -- of people but you don't want someone parking your car for three and a half minutes??? You're not ready. Stay home and save us all the trouble. Also, please don't take your frustration out on front line staff. It's not their fault and they don't really want to deal with you but are forced to. Stay home. For a while.