Originally Posted by FallenPlat

Ok, fine. Random selection for supplemental screening of a phone it is.

My child was randomly selected for this earlier this week -- from the Precheck line.

After the TSA screener tells me what she's doing, I look at her and say, "There is no cell phone."

She looks puzzled for a moment, recovers, and then says brightly, "Well, then we have to check a parent's bag." That's right, bag not phone.

"Which one of us?" I ask.

"Either," she answers. For a moment I'm completely taken aback. What kind of "security procedure" is that? If we were up to no good, I'd just tell her to check whichever one of us wasn't the "mule," i.e., the one not carrying the bad stuff. (Based on all the movies I've watched, I think standard practice is to have one's girl friend or wife be the mule.)

Anyway, by profession I'm someone who has to think very fast and very accurately even (or especially) in pressure-packed situations. So I knew exactly what to do next. I immediately point at my wife and say, "Go bother her, then." Well, that's not exactly what I said, but pretty close. I turned my back on her and walked away.

Unlike me, my wife was able to take all this with a straight face and was through in no time.

Still, there's karma. I was stopped before leaving security by another agent who told me that there was an actual problem with my bag, which then had to be hand searched. The problem? A book! Yeah, sure, I know. You think I'm kidding. I'm not. To be fair, though, the book was 1852 pages long. Maybe there's a page limit? Or an informal ban against French literature?