I wish.

It’s all more complicated than it seems — I'm sure there's a thread somewhere with a number of people who had a go at explaining the algorithm behind operational upgrades. That said, I can’t really complain myself as I was lucky enough to get quite a few beeps at the gate over the years, mostly on EU flights, though, as long-haul is exclusively J and I was never lucky enough to get upgraded to the very front of the bus i.e. F

G