This is insane. I would be much less frustrated if the agent that I finally got in touch with had provided me with the information that the flight was actually going to happen but just into a different regional airport. However, the agent also said the flight was cancelled, and so I spent all day on I-5, when apparently I could have kept my seat. However, the agent just said the flight was cancelled and very willingly refunded my ticket (or at least claims to have, now I'm worried about that, as I received no confirmation).
It appears that the only way I would have gotten correct information would be if I had gone to the airport. But why would I go to the airport when my flight was cancelled and the agent told me that that the other flights were also cancelled? I checked other airlines and saw major rolling delays, so I figured driving was my best bet.