Originally Posted by
NoTiersForMe
Interesting thread. I really do agree with immediate posters above that IF asked the question, then I should answer genuinely with 'what I want'. Of course doing so politely/discretely.
The fact that I have read on FT what a very knowledgeable poster has advised me [indirectly] to do simply lets the genie of awkwardness out of the bottle, sadly, never to return.
Originally Posted by
orbitmic
Because communication is about meaning, and in some contexts the meaning of what the other person is telling you is genuinely not clear to you, and clarifying it may have a cost either by embarrassing the person who is being nice or by embarrassing yourself.
I have to say some of this is like being in The Remains of the Day, which was of course written by someone of Japanese heritage: we operate within these bounds of duty, service and the rules of behaviour, over-arched with a dollop of dignity and an avoidance of external conflict, even if that means a bit of internal conflict / personal anguish.
Easily solved by asking "ooooh, any chance of a cup of tea?"