Murray Goldberg

One of the things I like most about this board is the creative phrasing often on show.

The only DYKWIA incident I've seen even remotely recently was last year. On a couple of occasions at NCL I've seen gates appear on the screens just before boarding, resulting in corridor queues at the gate doors, then pass scanned and straight through and onto the plane/bus, rather than have everyone hang around in the gate seating area first.

I was lingering towards the back of my line, when a lady desperately in need of a volume adjustment rather unpleasantly cackled her way into earshot. I turned to investigate the source of said racket, just in time for her to end her phone call with 'I'll call you from Paddington.'

Now at this point I was going to provide her with some fairly useful information regarding said station and it's home city. However, as I went to open my mouth, she proceeded to kick her wheeled carry-on out in front of her, which deployed itself sharply from the extending handle and dropped to the floor with an ominous and entitled thud. Then accelerating forwards with her bag in the hoover position - and waving her phone around in the other hand like it was the winning ticket in a meat draw - she shrieked and rammed her way to the front of the line using words such as 'bronze' and 'priority.'

I lost sight of her and didn't see her again, so never got to see her face when she discovered she'd barged her way to the front of the line for the AF CDG shuttle. But I wish I had.