Originally Posted by JDiver

I posted this as part of a longer reply in another forum. My wife has Alzheimer's disease, and sometimes I must speak / advocate for her. I carry a card in my wallet, pocket or card holder that says "My companion has Alzheimer's - your understanding is appreciated" (see below); its small, portable, discrete and useful.

Hiding or pretending she has "nothing wrong" accomplishes nothing other than enabling stigma, communicating any of my own possible and improperly held shame about her condition and it facilitates misunderstanding. Her Alzheimer's disease is nothing to be ashamed at (any more than my recurring facial skin cancer is a source of shame) it is a naturally occurring condition and disability, and we've discussed previously our preference to be forthright when necessary and the possible unfairness but necessity of occasionally being educator-advocates. (Note: I'm speaking about myself, not criticizing anyone else for their decisions.)

I can't rely on what people's assumptions are - whether they think I'm a control freak or chauvinist speaking up for her, etc. so it's much easier to tell others what's going on, in my experience. E.g. my wife can't remember what she likes sometimes, and with this brain-based disease her senses change anyway; additionally, the executive functions are diminished - she could look at a wine list or menu for a very long time attempting to make a decision, and not be able to. When servers or Flight Attendants ask her questions, the spontaneity makes her "freeze up" as well.

IMO, those of us with people in our lives with special needs must take an active role in advocating and educating others - generally, at the opportune moment. That seems much more effective than asking for punishment or corrective action by complaint about another's actions (or inactions) after the fact.

I hope your travels are safe and happy.