darthbimmer

Your former friend is clearly a foolish traveler, but so are you for trusting a person to plan all the logistics for you without checking back in to inquire about the details until the last minute. Trust, but verify.

I'm going through a similar situation right now, where a trip that could be amazing is falling apart because of a friend who is a terrible travel planner. Several weeks ago she announced a destination wedding in Hawaii, planned for the last week of the year. My wife and I were of course very happy for her and enthusiastically promised we'd join her in Hawaii. "Stay tuned for specifics," the friend promised.

My wife and I thought that meant our friend needed to get an accurate count of guests to negotiate a group rate at a hotel, etc. We thought that, but we didn't assume. Instead we've prodded her every week or two since the announcement. And what we've learned since then is distressing.

1. Only recently did she even pick an exact date.
2. She hasn't chosen or reserved a venue yet.
3. She hasn't even chosen where she will stay.
4. The idea of helping other guests arrange-- note, not pay for, just arrange-- their stays didn't cross her mind. When we asked she was shocked by the suggestion.
5. All this while targeting Hawaii during what is probably its busiest week of the year! Really this kind of trip should have been planned 13 months in advance, not started 6 months in advance and firming up 3-4 months in advance.

As a result of this poor planning my wife and I face an increasingly stressful choice of either paying through the nose for flights an accommodations, spending at least 2x what we'd budgeted, or telling our friend to have fun getting married without us. But at least we are having that conversation now, months in advance, rather than in late December.