Old Mar 23, 16, 2:39 pm
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 1,808
Originally Posted by jtjackson View Post
About twenty years ago, I got hung up at outbound immigration and just made my 7am flight BKK-NRT (on NWA) only to find a young french guy in my (business class) seat. I asked him to let me have my seat. I was coming off an all nighter after a hard week trying to close a deal, so I probably wasn't overly friendly. He insisted that it was now his seat, I was too late, he needed to get up a lot, - on and on. Luckily, the FA was right behind me and she made him move to the window (we were in a 2 seat section next to the galley). I thought situation was settled.

Just before takeoff, I set my book on the armrest while I put my laptop in the seat back pocket. He knocked the book to the floor.

OK. Maybe it was an accident. So, a few minutes later, I put my book there again and he immediately knocked down again. He said "oh, an accident". I asked him if he was going to do that the whole flight. He said "not if you give me back my seat" (meaning my seat). I pointed out that there were other empty seats if he didn't like the one he was in. (There were empty seats in the section - just no more aisles). He just gave me the evil eye.

After climb out, FAs handed out water bottles. He knocked mine off my tray table! "Oh, an accident". Then he demanded I get up to he could go to the lav. He made a point of trying to push past me after I stood to let him out (I was twice his size - almost comical).

And he left his water bottle on the armrest between our seats.

As he was walking away, I decided I wasn't going to spend the next six hours putting up with him, so as I was sitting down, his water bottle had an "accident" onto his seat. Funny thing -those old NWA seats were "cupped" and well padded, so they would hold the contents a water bottle (who knew?).

When the guy came back, I stood to let him in. He sat down without looking and immediately started yelling and swearing and threatening me (in two languages, at the same time). It was all I could do to keep a straight face. The FA came over and the guy was so upset she couldn't understand him (he was demanding she make me switch seats, but she didn't understand Frenglish). He was so loud that the purser came and motioned me into the galley to find out what was going on.

I told her about the poached seat and his "accidents" (maybe not ALL the details of all of the accidents...). I said I didn't really would prefer no to sit with him in his agitated condition - so if she wanted to give him my seat it would be OK to move me somewhere else. I guess I was feeling a little guilty. I thought she would ask me to move to a seat further back in the plane.

She thanked me for my cooperation, told the FA to give the guy my seat. She then asked me to grab my bag and follow her, which I did - right into an empty first class seat.

As we were preparing to land, she came by and thanked me again for being so cooperative (!) and gave me vouchers for several thousand miles! (Frankly, I was a little embarrassed, but I took them anyway).

These passive-aggressive types are all too common. What they tend to forget, especially the ones that make a point of getting up to the lav every 20 minutes after being kicked out of your aisle seat, is that they are leaving themselves vulnerable. They leave their stuff in the seat, or in their underseat bags. You could do all manner of things they may not discover until later, and will never be able to prove. What's to stop me from breaking open a pen and smearing the ink inside their purse or on their seat? How about simply stomping on their bag, crushing everything? Or spilling a nice cup of coffee in their purse?

The worst I ever did to an aisle seat poacher after her 10th trip to the lav and after her constant abuse of the FA, was to put my ice cubes into her gucci purse.
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