This is hilarious, all the excitement.
Anyway, best card is Discover it Miles because it offers 1.5 miles (1.5%) on each purchase and is doubled during first 12 months. So that plus AP equals 23% cash back. Standard Discover is 1% cash back on everything and they may double that too so 22%. Splitting hairs maybe, though if you can get the rotating 5% category in there too it might be better.