I haven't flown this red-eye, but I can speak to the lounge situation...
In SFO, you'll have access to the Admirals Club; it's a nice, but standard domestic US airport lounge. There is no pre-flight dining option in the lounge, nor will there be much food in the lounge other than perhaps a few apples, cookies, and snack/trail mix. I'd suggest eating before you got to the airport or visiting one of the dining establishments in the terminal.
As for arrival, you should be able to access the Flagship Lounge at JFK. Just head to the main Admirals Club lounge across from Gate 12. Show the agents your F boarding pass for your inbound flight, and they'll let you into the Flagship Lounge. Also, you can ask the agents in the club for a shower.