As this seems to be developing into a fatties Anonymous, I have to join in.
Hello. I am Kevin. I am overweight.
(room goes "Hello Kevin)
My weight is more than I want it to be.
This is because
a) my partner is an amazing cook
b) I have no will power
c) despite walking to the Old Bailey and back from Waterloo everyday, I don't get enough exercise
d) when I was young, I couldn't get above 13 st due to tha amount of sport I played
e) now I'm getting on and cannot do the amount needed due to other issues, I'm putting on weight purely because I consume more than I burn.
Thanks for letting me share.
(Sits to polite applause)