Checked in. Hotel is nice. Patong is hell. I'll save my thoughts about patong until I tell you about the hotel...
Anyways, as we all know, the 4 star hotel test is if it provides bath robes... ad it does.
Checkin
Normal. I will mention that at no point in time did I see the rate... but this is normal for these fares. What are they supposed to do? Gasp, give me a drink.
Actually... they do give a welcome drink.
Room
Rooms are 4 star for real (not like a germany 4star). Place to sit, big rain shower (or a big tub), and a comfy bed. Normal but really nice. And fast internet, like way faster than the Hyatt or Holiday Inns here.
What would be epic is if you could status match and then apply room upgrades and get one of the rooms that goes directly into the pool. That would be awesome.
Property
It's attached to a big upper class mall. However, while in the hotel you don't know the difference. It's a big property (with rooms on both sides of the mall???) with everything you need.
The pool is large, and the gym is the best I've seen in a while. Rower, pull up bar, lots of weight machines, treadmills, etc...
Blah blah blah, it's a hotel.
Location and my thoughts on Patong
It's not on the beach, it's a block away. This is because no one comes to patong for the beach. People come here either because: A) they didn't know better or, B) they're perverts.
Walk outside this hotel at midnight and walk down the party street, and then walk back to the room and wash your eyes with soap.
It makes Las Vegas look like the Vatican. Sex tourism is so big here that...
Rather, I've noticed that a lot of women here tend to prefer to be coupled with old white men that would generally be classified as undesirable back in the US.
My tip would be: 1) rent a bike and see other beaches. and 2) don't leave the room after dark if you have kids or 20/20 vision.
Also, Patong is expensive. Food is like 150+ THB here... which is $5... but if you've been anywhere else in thailand, you know things are generally 30 THB.
Also #2, The taxi Mafia is freaking terrible here. A Taxi to go one block is 200 THB. I kid you not. To get here from the airport is like 1,000 THB. It's insane. And they would rather sit and not work 99% of the day, and then screw you when you are forced to ride with them. Morons. They bully the hotels and other tuk tuks, so they are scared to do anything on their own.
Anyways, I'll be hiding in my room for the next 6 days if you need me.