View Single Post
Old Sep 20, 13, 9:35 am
  #6  
mrsyeltzin
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: NYC
Programs: UA - 1K, Marriott Plat
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by Redhead View Post
Here's a language one: American to English......

I was out to dinner at a very posh restaurant in London with my then boyfriend, his sister and her fiance. After dinner the waitress asked if we would like coffee or tea. We all ordered coffee and as the waitress started to walk away, I said in my American voice which tends to carry "Oh, could you please make mine a decaf or I'll be tossing all night". Well the waitress's mouth popped open and she dropped the plate she was carrying. My boyfriend turned purple, the fiance spit his water out, the sister burst out laughing and every head in the restaurant turned and looked at me.

I had no clue what I'd said and after the fiance and sister stopped laughing they told me that tossing is English slang for masturbating. And apparently the way I'd said it I'd put the emphasis on "all night" made it even funnier. The guy and I dated for another year after that and for the rest of our relationship his sister and fiance/husband teased him about being able to keep the American girl satisfied or did I still need to "toss all night"
This is hilarious. I had a similar problem when ordering a cappuccino in England. Lady asked if I wanted chocolate on it, and I said "I'm good." She stared at me for a good 10 seconds and then just put chocolate on it. My English friend said that she probably assumed I was slow and said "mmmmm...good." Supposedly we Americans speak the same language as the Brits, but I'm not buying it.

I've had a few others: My most recent episode was a case of bad bowels the day we're leaving Taipei to head back to New York with a fairly large group of people on a business trip. I almost missed our bus leaving the hotel that morning, somehow survived the bumpy bus ride to the airport only to be held up on an excessively long check in line. I disappeared from the group immediately after and got cozy in the bathrooms for a while. I ended up crapping in three countries in one day.

Another time I was so late for my flight that when I ran through security, I emptied my pockets of everything except my cell phone, forgetting it at first. So I walk up to the security guard who waves me through, and just before I get to the metal detector I remember the phone, so I pull it out of my pocket but cant put it anywhere, so I just hold it in my hands and go through. Of course the detector goes off, and the security guard looks at me, and I look at him, and he says "your cell phone?" and I'm so embarrassed and nervous that I was going to miss my flight that I just played dumb.

"what phone!?"

"that one in your hands, sir..."
mrsyeltzin is offline