Originally Posted by reamworks

Opted out today (as usual!) at SFO.

The person in front of me on line at the ID check shared a name that was in a movie title. I didn't hear what it was. (Let's call him "Austin Powers") but the TSA spent nearly two minutes saying "Wow! Did your life change after the movie came out?" and similar chit-chat. (It reminded me of "Michael Bolton" in _Office Space_). The guy obliged saying "Yeah, I was 15 when it came out and it's never been the same since." I have NO IDEA how this 2-minute waste of my life makes my flight any safer. Maybe it was an advanced BDO technique!

They claimed there was no male assist available and asked me to remove my items from the belt. I balked. "Why don't you serve people in the order they arrive?" I asked. Then I asked for a supervisor. They told me to stand in the penalty box. I reminded them that 318 of them have been arrested for crimes against passengers in 2011 and I needed to see my belongings.

A male assist arrived before they were able to get my things off the belt.

On the other side, he asked which were my things, and then he took my laptop out of one bin and threw them on top of my brand-new Bruno Maglis! I told him "TAKE MY LAPTOP OFF MY BRUNO MAGLIS" and he did.

Fortunately, I had a pre-filled out comment card with the time and flight number (I fill them out before I go), so I just had to write in his name and my complaint and dropped in in the comment box. This saves me a lot of time.

And, even at 5:30 am, the shoeshine was open at SFO so I was able to undo the damage the TSA caused.