Funniest thing you have heard from customs upon reentering your home country?
I think my favorite was after a lengthy trip through Australia, India, Asia and Europe the field for "countries visited since you were last in the U.S." was pretty well filled in. When I handed it to the customs guy he was like
"Sir, you don't need to fill out every country you've ever been to, just the ones from your most recent trip"
My #2 would be returning to JFK after roughly 30 hours in Reykjavik to cover a music festival, the customs officer looked at my stamps for Iceland then asked "You went to Iceland for a day?" I explained I had been there working on a story and he nodded his head and replied "Awesome" then let me go on my way.