Originally Posted by zombietooth

Jackie will play the frustrated HKG customs agent. When he finds out that Larry is carrying 8 cartons of smokes, hilarity ensues:

Agent Chan: "Sir, you can only bring 19 cigarettes into Hong Kong duty free."

Larry: "Who do you think I am, some health nut! I smoke that many in a few hours."

Agent Chan: "But sir, these are the rules in Hong Kong. You will have to pay duty and taxes on your excess cigarettes."

Larry: "But these are only for my own personal use. How am I gonna survive in Hong Kong for 5 days, with 3 insane kids and 'Matilda the Hun' here, with only 19 cigarettes. Are you crazy?"

Agent Chan: "I am sorry sir, but you will have to pay a duty on these excess cigarettes." (Chan starts fiddling with a calculator and writes some notes on a note pad.) "Sir, that will be 1,600- Hong Kong dollars please."

Larry: "What! Baby, just how much is that?"

Rosie: "About 200 dollars, hon."

Larry: "What? You all really are crazy! That's more than I paid for my airline ticket in First Class!"

Agent Chan: "I am sorry sir. If you won't pay the duty, you will have to forfeit your cigarettes."

Larry: Confusing Japan and Hong Kong says, "Well, I can see now why we kicked your asses in World War II!" (He dejectedly pays the duty and agent Chan hands Larry a receipt.)

(Larry turns and hands the receipt to Rosie.)

Larry: "Baby, you take damn good care of that receipt. We are going to submit a claim to United when we get home. This is all their fault!"

(The family takes their baggage and exits the customs inspection area.)