Welcome to Flyertalk
snowfilmer and thanks for posting this report!
You may want to visit the US Airways forum if you plan to fly US even a little in the future:
http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/us-ai...end-miles-612/
Just a few comments on your post--
At the lounge, we were informed that we were not entitled access during the domestic portion of our flight
This is incorrect. You are entitled to same-day access to any Star Alliance lounge as a Star Gold or higher. Many times I've gone to the US lounge here in PHX prior to a PHX-PHL-Europe flight, and have still visited the Envoy lounge at PHL. The same has been true when I've flown UA, I've been able to use their PHX lounge before flights to LAX and ORD (when the flights were same-day and were international).
As to this and your other issues, I think you should send an email to Customer Relations. Not sure if you think any are miles or $$ worthy, but I'd certainly ask for something. I think the going rate for a day pass at the club is $40, so I'd at minimum ask for that, and probably more for both your crabcakes meal and your wife's return meal. Always ask for more than you think you want since they'll probably cut the amount you request in half.
Definitely poor showing for the FA to reach across and close or open the screens and to leave trash for so long. Many times I've been asleep or close to it, and my trash has magically disappeared.