Walkabout
I decided not to play the five-play machine today because in the past I had always lost heavily on the last day of my trip so instead I played some at the bank of progressive Bonus Poker machines where the jackpot had been working its way up to a pretty good level. I had been holding my own for about an hour and a half when a guy who just sat down 45 minutes ago hit the Royal. I congratulated him and cashed out. Then I went over to the bank of new machines—now dubbed the Duck Pond by me—to play some five-play Deuces. Once again I had great luck, being dealt a Wild Royal and a Five of a Kind but no ducks despite two and one-half hours of trying. Nevertheless I cashed out for slightly more than I had lost at the progressives earlier, putting me up $50 for the day. I decided it was time for lunch.
I sat at the raw bar at Emeril’s and got the last pound of yummy stone crabs ($26). It was a gorgeous afternoon so I decided to take a walk and check out the video poker at Aladdin and Venetian. Aladdin had demolished the sidewalk in front of the hotel and constructed a winding path up and down stairs that pedestrians passing by were forced to take. I went in and looked at the high-limit area. There was no one playing. They had put in the 9/6 Jacks or Better, missing when they opened the joint, but without an attractive slot club to go with it they weren’t going to take customers away from MGM or Venetian. The rest of the games were all worse odds. I went up to the London Club and saw they had put in one double-deck game with a $100 minimum that actually had someone playing it. The eight-deck games, as usual, sat empty. The more decks they use, the worse odds for the player because it becomes less and less likely that you’ll get Blackjack.
I vamoosed out of that place and strolled up to Venetian. Next to Bellagio, this was the classiest place in town. I found the high-limit room and sat down at a similar machine to the one I played at MGM. I only had an hour to play so I figured I couldn’t lose too much but the controls were set to full hoover and I quickly lost most of the cash I had with me playing Jacks or Better. I was dealt garbage hand after garbage hand when suddenly—boom! Four Deuces and the King of Hearts stared me in the face. I held the Deuces and soon I was hearing that good ol’ IGT jackpot music. Too bad I didn’t get the Deuces dealt on the five-play Deuces Wild machine I was playing earlier—that pays more than a Royal! But it was still a nice win that erased my previous losses and put me ahead for the afternoon. While I was waiting for the handpay I decided to press my luck and try one pull in the $100 machine. I got garbage and lost. So much for that.
The words of the Compmeister echoing in my head—“Get out of town now with your winnings!”—I played a few more hands on the five-play and then cashed out ahead by a bit. The legendary Armenian developer Kirk Kerkorian ran MGM and many of the employees there had Armenian names ending in “ian.” Sheldon Adelson, on the other hand, controlled Venetian, so I smiled wryly when a supervisor with the stereotypically Jewish name Mo Greenberg came over to cash me out. I resisted the temptation to blame him for sinking the Titanic and instead asked him how I went about getting my Gold card with their players club. Mo introduced me to a very nice slot host there who said they would love to have my business and would even comp me to a gourmet meal now if I wanted. I couldn’t take him up on his kind offer because I had just eaten and besides I had a flight to catch so I thanked him, accepted a pair of attractive Gold Club cards, and headed back to MGM.
I had time so I walked back for the exercise and to enjoy the cool desert day. I passed a guy in a dark suit with a colorful nametag that said “Doug” so I said, “Hi Doug!” and watched his mouth pulsate fishlike and his eyes cross as he tried to figure out who I was. I arrived back at MGM, grabbed a petit four from the spread on the 29th floor, and packed reluctantly. There was yet another box of chocolates set out so I packed it along with the box of Grand Format Canadian Smarties Shaun had given me for Hunnybear. Canadian Smarties are completely different from American ones. They have chocolate instead of sugar under the candy coating! And American ones never come in the Grand Format, my favorite format.
I checked out with the penthouse concierge and had her give the limo driver dispatcher a heads-up that I was on my way. The driver was waiting for me and whisked me to the airport. I asked him if Comdex attendees were good tippers and he said not really. On a $35 charge they tip exactly $7. And when the services are contracted by a company a 15% tip is written into the contract, which is even less. I had been tipping $5 for average service and $10 for better, so I guess that was considered OK. He let me off at Ground Zero and I resisted the temptation to give him exactly $7.
I had a full-fare First Class ticket on National so I went to their club lounge to check in. An unrestricted coach ticket cost $89.50 one way. Upgrading to F cost another $60 but did not include use of the club. For $204.50 you got it all. Since it was Comdex I didn’t want to take the chance of First Class being full so I spent the extra $55 and got a reserved seat.
The lounge was excellent with a full bar, wide array of snacks including low-carb salami and cheese sticks, expensive mixed nuts, a big TV, and a separate room with Internet terminal. There was only one employee and three guests. She offered to make me a drink but since she was primarily there for my safety she had no clue how to make a drink so I showed her how to make a Manhattan. I checked FlyerTalk to see if anyone had been commenting on my Lion Tales and then checked email. Boarding was delayed about a half-hour so I showed her how to make another Manhattan.
Once again National’s short-hop service was on a par with United’s international First Class. They skipped the hot towel this time but we still got preflight drinks in glasses, mixed nuts, cheese, crackers, and raisin compote, leather seats, attentive service, and a 757. We docked at gate 61 15 minutes late and Hunnybear called to say she was waiting for me in the secret place. We stopped by Jerry’s Deli (NASDAQ: DELI) for a Reuben and chicken soup and headed home.
The end.
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