do we need to stay politically correct?
Perhaps some more FT centric advice:
- Do not forget to videotape the entire experience on the ground and the air with numerous HD cameras mounted to a scaffold which can be locked on the seat in front you
- Do not forget to set the cameras to a clearly audible whistle should the SD cards or the batteries run low in order to keep the experience smooth
- Make constant direct comments to the "F" camera - the one that faces you - about position, food, the accent of the pilot, and what you would like to do with that uber-chick of a purser. Keep the comments clear and graphic so that viewers from other cultures can follow your inferior thoughts
- Force the service-underlings to bend down, so that the "F" camera gets a clear shot when they address you
- Never forget that you can bring a toddler for free. This will train them early not to overvalue the F experience
- Insist on bringing an emotional support animal on US bound routes (don't do this on Asian routes, should you have any emotional bonds to the emotional support animal)
- A larger animal can help you eat more of offerings provided
- Being so close to the cockpit never forget providing input for the pilots on changes of altitude, routing, and warnings of clouds - the crew must feel that it was a mistake not to install "Channel 9" on Lufthansa
- Tell the crew in which detail AirAsia, VirginBlue, and TigerAirways are superior
- book an outlandish route, so when it is axed, you don't have to pay the $250 to DividendMiles for rebooking and for a more serious shot at the upcoming A380 service
- Bring scratching tools in order not miss any of the farmed fish eggs you just complained about
- Bring a hard case carry on which doesn't bulge when you stuff the 'free' pillows, blankets, cutlery, and surplus PJs of other pax in there
- Make sure to cut the "F" camera while you transfer the free offerings from the cabin to your bag
- Once the grand deed is done, approach a clueless news magazine, claim to be a famous blogger, and report how LH does treat their most valuable customers and where there is room for improvement
- Do not forget to post on FT that even you "do not pay full fare all the time" when traveling in F/ That down-to-Earth touch is much appreciated and will diminish the reprimands for heavy cross-posting of your venture
- Do not forget to include stories about your epic idiosyncrasies when posting in other fora - this will establish you as a potential candidate for mythical creatures such a Jack Vroom or Mr. Pillows