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Worst Passenger of the Week: You May Pick Any Seat You Like, but Please, Please Don’t Pick Your Feet

Third Place – But I’m the King of England!

According to TMZ, former The Tudors star, Jonathan Rhys Meyers may have confused himself with actual royalty in disrupting an American Airlines flight from Miami International Airport (MIA) to Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) this week. The Golden Globe Award-winning actor was detained by police in Los Angeles after reportedly exhibiting some very King Henry VIII-like behavior during the cross-country journey.

Meyers allegedly argued with fellow passengers and engaged in a profanity-laced shouting match with his wife. The actor, who eyewitnesses say had been drinking during the trip, then began “vaping” an electronic cigarette in the cabin. When his wife told him to stop using the electronic cigarette, he reportedly shouted, “f**k you, I’m going to divorce you,” in response. The 40-year-old entertainer is said to have complied when a flight attendant told him that the device was prohibited, but at least six police officers later met the plane on the tarmac at LAX.

Although vaping is the most annoying thing a human being can do in public, federal authorities declined to pursue charges over the infraction of FAA regulations. Police say Meyers was released after being warned about his behavior.

Meyers’s wife Mara took to social media later in the week to defend her husband and at the same time apologize for his outburst. The film and television star has publicly admitted to fighting depression and addiction in the past.

“Eight months of sobriety and an unfortunate day of airline travel,” Mara Meyers wrote in an Instagram post. “We were in South America specifically working holistically through anger issues that result in these kinds of episodes. When in it … he is not in a frame of mind where he can really even comprehend the repercussions and necessary response to his own actions. We are home safe and he is feeling deeply sorry for any remote disrespect afforded to me, attendants, onlookers or officers. Thank you for your compassion on this ongoing battle with addiction we are in.”

The Runner-up – My Anaconda Don’t, My Anaconda Don’t …

A passenger this week attempted to smuggle a python onto a flight bound for Barbados Grantley Adams International Airport (BGI). According to the TSA, the snake was wrapped in pantyhose and concealed inside a computer hard drive. Although the agency says that the snake did not pose any threat to passengers, the peace of mind of knowing that there are no man-killing constrictors hidden on any given flight seems like the very bare minimum passengers should expect in aviation security.

The contraband snake was seized by U.S. Fish and Wildlife officials who also issued a citation to the reptile-smuggling passenger, but the agents were powerless to stop the painful and endless Snakes on a Plane references that resulted from news of the failed python-trafficking attempt. Even the TSA’s award-winning social media team stooped to grousing about “monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane”

“Agent Neville Flynn would be extremely proud of our officers at the Miami International Airport (MIA), the TSA wrote in a cringeworthy Instagram post. “You see, Agent Flynn has HAD IT with snakes on planes, and our officers prevented a young Ball Python from flying the friendly skies this past Sunday.”

The Winner – No Mean Feet

Earlier in this column, an assertion was made that “vaping is the most annoying thing a human being can do in public.” However, based on the following new information, it would appear that an immediate retraction of this statement is now in order:

Fellow air travelers captured footage of a passenger on an AirAsia flight casually picking dead skin from his feet during the trip. An extraordinarily uncomfortable-to-watch video shows the surgical mask-wearing flyer meticulously shaving dry skin from his bare feet and then dropping the resulting handfuls of dead skin on the cabin floor.

The passenger on the flight from Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KUL) to Hanoi Nội Bài International Airport who took the damning cellphone video says that the flight home from a tropical vacation was no holiday – even before her seat mate’s disturbing personal grooming routine.

“I was returning from a trip to Bali with my boyfriend,” passenger Jade Thomas told The Sun. “We observed some poor behavior. There was shouting, loud burping, not following requests of airline staff – for example everybody stood up and started getting their hand luggage before the seatbelt sign had been switched off … Then of course, there were some people not wearing shoes.”

The prior boorish behavior, however, paled in comparison the moment an oblivious flyer across the aisle started to clean gunk from under his toenails. The disturbing scene reportedly went on uninterrupted for several minutes while passengers in the background alternately looked on in shocked horror or looked away in disgust.

The vile viral video has already been viewed tens of thousands of times, but probably shouldn’t be watched by anyone with a weak stomach. Just watching a few seconds of the clip should entitle viewers to compensation from AirAsia.

[Photo: Shutterstock]

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