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Worst Passenger of the Week: The Winner by a Nose

Worst Passenger of the Week: The Winner by a Nose
Jeff Edwards

Every Friday, FlyerTalk looks back at the week’s most charming individuals. While there are always plenty of contenders for our Worst Passenger of the Week award, only one lucky flyer can take home the glory. Here are this week’s winners.

Honorable Mention – “I do apologize for the airport and causing problems for them”

A future Hall of Fame Worst Passenger learned she would be getting a clean slate this week. After initially being declared unfit to stand trial, serial stowaway Marilyn Hartman was sentenced to 18 months probation following her entering a guilty plea to charges stemming from her latest escapade.

The globetrotting 67-year-old has famously managed to slip past security checkpoints without a ticket at airports across the country, including Los Angeles International Airport (LAX), Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport (PHX), San Francisco International Airport (SFO), Honolulu Daniel K. Inouye International Airport (HNL), Chicago O’Hare International Airport (ORD), Chicago Midway Airport (MDW), San Jose International Airport (SJC), Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport (MSP) and Jacksonville International Airport (JAX). By her own admission, Hartman has boarded as many as eight flights without ever purchasing a ticket.

In her latest misadventure, Hart successfully boarded a transatlantic British Airways ORD to London Heathrow Airport (LHR)-bound aircraft. Authorities in the U.K. returned the sneaky senior back to the U.S. where she faced a slew of criminal charges.

As part of her plea agreement, the compulsive stowaway agreed to keep her distance from both of Chicago’s major airports. After several months of psychiatric care, Hart was deemed fit to stand trial but accepted a plea agreement on trespassing charges which spared her jail time. “I do apologize for the airport and causing problems for them,” Hartman told the judge at her sentencing hearing on Tuesday.

Third Place – “Lickin’ the airplane toilet, bc I’m gross like that”

If there is any doubt left that social media is terrible and it is making all of us terrible as well, then a viral video of an attention-seeking passenger licking a lavatory toilet for “likes” should end the debate once and for all. The short video posted on social media shows the clearly disturbed flyer performing the unspeakable act while trying her best, but failing to make the unsavory performance seem sultry. The footage was aptly captioned, “Lickin’ the airplane toilet, bc I’m gross like that.”

In defense of the indefensible, becoming famous for being famous has its perks – the Hollywood Reporter argues that a sex tape transformed the Kardashians from a dysfunctional family to an iconic billion-dollar brand. Who knows? Maybe this airplane toilet-licking stunt could do the same for our next want-to-be-reality star. It certainly isn’t anything nastier than the stomach-churning feats of daring that made the crew behind Jackass millionaire celebrities. At least, no one got hurt in the making of this latest viral cry for attention.

The anonymous toilet-licker wrote that she had taken precautions by thoroughly wiping the lavatory before running her tongue along the entire length of the toilet seat. Hopefully, she had the good sense to book her flight on ANA as well – the Japanese carrier was just voted the world’s cleanest airline by passengers.

The Runner-up – “As of now, it appears she did not have any criminal intent”

A passenger’s futile attempt to get a little fresh air during a Delta Airlines Flight this week from Indianapolis International Airport (IND) to Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County Airport (DTW) resulted in her immediate arrest upon arrival. While it is physically impossible to open the door of a modern passenger jet while the aircraft is in the air, the determined flyer’s serious attempts to exit the plane mid-flight were somewhat disconcerting to say the least.

Fellow passengers and crew members restrained the woman following her erratic behavior and the plane arrived safely at its destination on Monday. Airport officials say that the bizarre incident was less a case of a passenger misbehaving and more likely the unfortunate result of the inflight mental breakdown of a troubled air traveler.

“As of now, it appears she did not have any criminal intent, and instead may be suffering from a medical issue,” DTW spokesperson Erica Donerson told local reporters in a written statement. “However, this is based on preliminary reports.”

The FBI investigated the incident, but quickly saw no reason to make a federal case of the episode. “After conducting an assessment of the incident and in consultation with the United States Attorney’s Office, it was determined no further investigation was warranted and no federal charges would be filed against the passenger,” the feds announced later in the week.

The Winner – “I gave him some wet wipes to clean up, but there was blood everywhere”

When a group of allegedly intoxicated and feuding Ryan Air Passengers got into a brawl on a Glasgow Prestwick Airport (PIK) to Tenerife South Airport (TFS) flight this week, it was a good samaritan who reportedly suffered the brunt of the damage. Initial media reports indicated that the would-be peacemaker who tried to de-escalate a tense situation had his nose bitten off as repayment for his good deed.

Fellow passengers say the whole sordid affair kicked off when one overindulging passenger harassed another about visiting the lavatory without shoes. The unfortunately predictable melee followed closely on the heels of the unsolicited footwear advice.

“I was beside the man who had his nose bitten and his face was a mess,” one unnamed eyewitness on the flight later told reporters. “I was covered in his blood, it was on my hands but I didn’t care, I just wanted to help him. I gave him some wet wipes to clean up but there was blood everywhere. It’s a real shame as he was trying to keep the peace when it all happened.”

Authorities in Spain say no passengers or crew members were seriously injured in the onboard dustup and no arrests were made as a result of the incident because no one involved was willing to press charges. Ryanair officials confirmed that police were called to meet the flight and passenger-taken footage of the chaos appears to show a ferocious and bloody scrum occurring in the cabin.

Still, other Ryanair flyers posted photographs on social media indicating that there was still blood splatter apparently clearly visible in the aircraft cabin on the return flight home days later. Ryanair was, of course, not recently (or ever) voted the world’s cleanest airline.

[Image Source: Shutterstock]

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