Worst Passenger of the Week: An Unfortunate Preview of Upcoming Attractions

Every Friday, FlyerTalk looks back at the week’s most charming individuals. While there are always plenty of contenders for our Worst Passenger of the Week award, only one lucky flyer can take home the glory. Here are this week’s winners.

Honorable Mention – Searching for a Fart of Gold

A passenger arriving at Rajiv Gandhi International Airport (HYD) in Hyderabad, India earned a second look after customs officials reportedly discovered eight gold bars in the flyer’s luggage on Sunday. Even though the foiled smuggler denied having any other contraband on his person, officials used an x-ray machine to find an additional 12 gold bars concealed in a most unlikely hidey-hole.

Authorities discovered that the unidentified 36-year-old passenger who had just arrived from Singapore, had stashed a fortune in precious metals in his rectum. Police say that all told, nearly $90,000 dollars worth of illicit gold was eventually seized from the fully committed gold-mule.

Though the imaginative smuggling technique seemed at first fool-proof, if not somewhat uncomfortable, the unlikely hiding spot might by now actually be among the first places authorities think to look. It seems customs officials in India and throughout the region are prepared to leave no stone unturned when it comes to flushing out what appears to be an epidemic of gold smuggling.

Third Place – If I Weren’t So Romantic, I’d Shoot You

Forget for a moment that the Grammy-winning rock legend who was busted with a loaded handgun at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport (ATL) has the on-the-nose name Rick Derringer. Set aside the fact that the 69-year-old guitarist reportedly told federal agents that he believed he was allowed to fly with the loaded weapon in his carry-on bag because he had a concealed carry permit from the State of Florida and never mind that authorities may have done Derringer a huge favor by preventing him from traveling on to Cancún International Airport (CUN) with a loaded weapon, as Mexico tends to take a dim view of US residents bringing illegal guns into the country.

Perhaps the important thing to know about this story is that even after allegedly admitting to federal authorities that he repeatedly flies with his handgun, (“30 to 50 times a year”) the musician still had the stage presence and showmanship to defiantly insist on his own innocence. This week, Derringer announced through his manager that he would work with federal authorities to clear his name from charges stemming form the incident.

The Runner-up – Can You F**king Hear Me Now?

Rapper Offset was understandably unhappy after reportedly being removed from an American Airlines flight for refusing to power down his mobile phone in preparation for takeoff. Rather than complain to the airline’s customer service department, the hip-hop artist took to social media to send a video message letting the company and his followers know how he feels.

At first, the performer seems confused about which airline he was railing against, “Yea, F**k … um, what was the name of that cheap-ass airline? … American Airline!”

Offset eventually finds his rhythm and goes on to accuse the carrier of racism, being a “ho” and being “cheap-ass” before offering the critique that “they ain’t got no first class that looks like first class.”

The rapper then continued his repeated refrain of “F**k American Airlines” and displayed for the camera a messenger bag that appeared to be stuffed with cash.

After announcing that he is “rich for real” and then backing that assertion up with an impressive display of pocket money, Offset concluded that he would perhaps be better served by more exclusive travel arrangements. “F**k American Airlines,” he offered in parting, sensibly adding, “I’ll go private.”

An American Airlines spokesperson confirmed that the performer was asked to leave a flight. The airline, however, insisted that in addition to refusing to end a phone conversation, the rapper became “loud and disruptive and began cursing.”

The Winner – The Creepy Film Aficionado

A passenger’s questionable choice of inflight entertainment resulted in his arrest following an Indigo flight from Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose International Airport (CCU) to Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport (BOM). The unidentified 43-year-old business traveler is now facing charges involving an “obscene act in public place,” as well as “showing pornography against the will of a woman” and “causing the disappearance of evidence.”

According to local media reports, while his seatmates were asleep, the Worst Passenger of the Week took the opportunity to enjoy some porn on his mobile phone. This might have gone unnoticed but for the fact that he reportedly felt compelled to share his unique choice of programming with a member of the cabin crew.

The flight attendant who eventually reported the violation, told police that she first noticed that the flyer was watching a very adult film when he called her over for water. Again, the indiscretion might have gone unreported, but the porn enthusiast reportedly called the flight attendant a second time, now requesting hot water.

The flight attendant told police that when she returned with the cup of water, she felt certain that the passenger “deliberately moved the phone towards her.” A supervisor, who also witnessed the man enjoying an adult film on his phone, alerted the captain who then contacted authorities on the ground.