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Worst Passenger of the Week: A Most Terrifying Inflight Mantra

Third Place – The “Wee Jakey no Behaving Himself” Who “Pished and Spewed”

A fellow passenger’s drunken misbehavior can ruin a flight in a hurry. Things will quickly go from bad to worse if that overindulging passenger happens to vomit all over the cabin. When the pilot has to divert the flight to remove the boorish flyer, the promise of some hard-earned rest and relaxation might even be disrupted indefinitely.

This is just what happened on a tour company’s chartered flight from Glasgow Airport (GLA) to Ibiza Airport (IBZ) this week. After a reveling vacationer reportedly became abusive and vomited in the cabin, the captain decided to make an unscheduled stop at Toulouse Blagnac Airport (TLS) to have the out-of-control passenger removed by French police before the rest of the travelers would be able to start their holiday of fun and sun.

Fortunately, the plane was filled with Glasgow, Scotland-based travelers who seemed to take the whole incident in stride. Passengers on the flight took to social media to put the ordeal into perspective. One flyer tweeted, “Wee jakey no behaving himself.” Another passenger noted on Twitter simply that a young boy was “pished and spewed” during the trip.

The Runner-up – “Pets Should not be Placed Through X-ray Machines”

It seems a passenger at Baltimore-Washington International Airport (BWI) may have taken recent reports of TSA screeners’ ineptitude a little too seriously. The unidentified passenger was stopped with a gun, a knife and a live dog hidden in his personal items at the airport’s security checkpoint. The bold flyer’s complete lack of faith in the federal agency’s ability to foil his bizarre contraband-smuggling attempt didn’t exactly pan out like he had expected.

Screeners easily identified the pet dog hidden in a duffle bag and the gun hidden in a second carry-on bag. The metal detector helped alert screeners to the knife on the man’s person.

Perhaps the K9-smuggling flyer had hoped that the gun would distract screeners from the knife and the dog or the dog would distract from the gun and the knife or maybe screeners would miss man’s best as well as the two weapons. In this case, however, the much-maligned agency was three-for-three.

“It’s difficult to say which of the two was more surprising — the X-ray image of the gun or the image of the dog’s moving skeleton,” the TSA said in a statement, adding, “Firearms are never allowed at checkpoints and pets should not be placed through X-ray machines.”

The Winner – “Today We Will Die, Today We Will Die, Today We Will Die…”

The crew of an EasyJet flight from Gatwick Airport (LGW) to Venice Marco Polo Airport (VCE) was not terribly troubled by the behavior of the Worst Passenger of the Week. After all, the man who was being deported from the UK was being closely guarded by officials from the Home Office. Unfortunately, the passengers on the flight were not in the loop and were only aware that an agitated man on the plane was struggling with other passengers and shouting threats for nearly the entire duration of the trip.

The agents from the Home Office were reportedly escorting the deported migrant to Italy under the terms of the so-called “Dublin Regulation” which requires refugees seeking asylum to go through the application process in the first safe county in which they arrive. Though it seems likely this particular applicant’s aggressive behavior on the short flight to Italy will not help his cause there.

Rather than explain the circumstances of the in-flight commotion to concerned passengers, the EasyJet cabin crew is accused instead of demanding that terrified passengers delete any audio or video recordings of the troubling ordeal. Luckily, at least one passenger ignored this request.

A passenger on the flight recorded eleven remarkable minutes of the crazed passenger’s irate ranting. In those eleven minutes, the man can be heard shouting “death is coming” at least twenty times. The recording also catches the asylum seeker repeating “we will die” no fewer than nine times and yelling “Allahu Akbar” in nearly 30 instances.

While EasyJet initially declined to compensate passengers for the ordeal, the airline did eventually admit that the situation might have been just a little bit terrifying for those onboard. “We acknowledge that on this occasion the situation on board could have been distressing for other passengers and apologize for that,” the airline said in a statement. “We are reviewing this case with the Home Office to see if lessons can be learned.”

[Photo: ABC 7 News]

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