Secret Ninja Star and Hair-Brush Dagger Confiscated by TSA: This Week’s Worst Flyers

Every Friday, FlyerTalk looks back at the week’s most charming individuals. While there are always plenty of contenders for our Worst Passenger of the Week award, only one lucky flyer can take home the glory. Here are this week’s winners.

Third Place – TSA: Two; Ninja Assassins: Zero

Part of the social contract that requires passengers to stand in long lines at TSA checkpoints is a trust that the sophisticated equipment and exhaustive search protocols endured will help to keep airline passengers safe from potential evil-doers. This week, the TSA released some extreme examples of just how far some people will go to smuggle weapons onboard a commercial airline flight.

A hair brush with a dagger concealed in the handle seems more suitable for a concubine assassin tasked with killing the emperor or more similar to the shiv from a made-for-television prison movie, but TSA screeners found just such a weapon at Tallahassee Regional Airport (TLH). The lethal personal grooming tool wan’t even the most bizarre disguised weapon discovery of the week. Screeners at an Ontario International Airport (ONT) TSA checkpoint discovered a hand-carved cellphone case with a secret compartment concealing a Chinese throwing star.

In addition to being the last line of defense against these sorts of want-to-be comic book villains, the TSA reported an array of more mundane catches at airports across the U.S. as well. Disconcerting discoveries at checkpoints for the week included a collection of martial arts fighting knives across four airports, an inert grenade at Columbia Metropolitan Airport (CAE), in addition to the 63 firearms found in passengers’ carry-on bags.

The Runner-up – Take this Job and … Weeeeeee!

Remakes are rarely as good as the original. It’s unlikely that anyone will ever quit their job as memorably as JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater who grabbed two beers from the galley and slid his way to freedom and infamy after an especially difficult day at work.

While not quite as shocking as its predecessor, the sequel to this story has a bit of masterful cinematography going for it. The scene opens with a United Airlines aircraft in focus as the plane door opens and the emergency slide deploys. A lone crew bag flies out the door, soon followed by a flight attendant who slides down the slide in perfect seat pocket safety card form. The flight attendant then calmly retrieves her bag and strolls away. End Scene.

Though deplaning was slightly delayed at the gate while an ailing passenger was being treated, there was no explanation offered for the flight attendant’s out-of-protocol departure. United Airlines did confirm, however, that the crew member in question is no longer employed with the company.

The Winner – Play Right, Don’t Bite

Among the most basic lessons children learn in kindergarten are “no hitting” and “no biting.” Unfortunately, the allegedly intoxicated 21-year-old passenger on a British Airways flight from Dubai International Airport (DXB) to London Heathrow Airport (LHR) must have missed the day of preschool when those rules were explained.

Another lesson that most people learn eventually is that no good deed goes unpunished. Unfortunately for fellow passenger Christopher McNerlin, he had to learn this lesson the hard way after he rushed to assist a female flight attendant who was struggling with the reportedly drunk and violent passenger. Police say the unnamed passenger bit McNerlin’s arm for his troubles. After the flight landed, the McNerlin took a trip to the hospital to treat his bite wounds and the alleged assailant was taken into police custody to learn an important lesson about playing well with others.

[Photo: TSA]