Mile High Manners: Sensible Solutions to Seatback Kickers, Airsickness & Prying Eyes

Traveling can be a tricky business, one that’s often complicated by unexpected, misery-inducing difficulties. You’ve got tightened airport security to deal with, not to mention delayed flights, discourteous strangers and maybe even a screaming child to top it all off. Sometimes it feels like the whole ordeal isn’t worth the hassle, but fear not! Mile High Manners is here to lend a helping hand and guide you through the polite “do’s and don’ts” of flight etiquette, regardless of the class you’re seated in and situations you come up against.

Q: On a recent United flight, I made the mistake of sitting in Economy. It was just a short-haul redeye, so I didn’t think it would be too horrible, but there was this little brat behind me that kept kicking my seat! Constantly! Thump-thump-thump! I shot his mother a dirty look between the seats, and she told him to stop, which he did for about 45 seconds before starting again. Aside from strangling the kid, how does one deal with seatback kickers?

A: Children on planes are like children in restaurants… or children in any public space for that matter. There are going to be issues, both for the parents and anyone around them.

First things first, shooting the mother a dirty look is never the way to go. It’s rude and doesn’t really help anyone. Turning around and asking the parent nicely to stop their child from kicking the back of your seat is a better, more direct route to take.

If beseeching the parent doesn’t work, consider asking the flight attendant if there are any spare seats on the flight to which you could move. I would recommend making a point of stressing that you need peace and quiet for some made-up reason.

Q: I fly a lot and I’ve never been airsick. Never. After watching a green-looking 20-something vomit all over one of the flight attendants on an American Airlines flight a few months back, though, I’m hyperaware of those barf bags in the seatback pocket. If I ever do get queasy mid-flight and can’t get to the bathroom in time (*knock on wood*) I know those little bags are my best bet, but what do I do? Should I warn my seatmate and the crew? And what should I do (with myself and with the bag) after I’ve oh-so-embarrassingly hurled my guts up?

A: I’d say that 9 times out of 10, you’ll feel when you’re about to be sick and have enough time to get to that little plastic cubicle at the back of the plane—the one that passes for a bathroom. If you’re in the window seat, excuse yourself in good time and sprint as fast as your little legs will carry you. Just pray that you’re not met by that red “occupied” sign.

If a wave of nausea washes over quickly and you have no time to get up, then yes, the barf bag is your best bet. It’s not the most pleasant option, but it’s hard to completely keep your dignity intact when it comes to puking 30,000 feet above the ground.

Yes, absolutely warn your seatmate that you are about to be sick, giving them an opportunity to get out of the danger zone. Try your best to aim. Flight attendants will be able to advise you on how to dispose of your goody bag. Make sure you thank them properly.

Q: I’m not a big fan of flying, but my job requires me to travel a lot, so I make do and immerse myself in my laptop for the duration of the flight. Unfortunately, most of the people I sit next to seem to think my open laptop serves as an invitation to look over my shoulder from takeoff to landing. I bought one of those privacy screens, but that doesn’t deter everyone. Any tips on how to deal with snoopy seatmates?

A: That old “curiosity killed the cat” adage seems appropriate here. Long-haul flights aren’t exactly the most scintillating of activities; in fact, a lot of the time, they’re just damn boring. Peeking at your neighbor’s laptop can be a small source of amusement, but having a person constantly looking over your shoulder can definitely be annoying, especially when you’re trying to work or watch something.

If you have an exceptionally nosy seatmate who is shamelessly staring at your screen, you could make a stand and (politely) tell them to knock it off. You could also try maneuvering your laptop in a way that blocks their view, but with limited cabin space, this can be a tricky task. If all else fails, shut it down and get some shuteye.

Have you ever faced an in-flight encounter or unexpected situation at the airport which you were unsure of how to handle properly? Send your dilemmas to us at [email protected] and check back every Wednesday as we endeavor make the travel experience more enjoyable for everyone.

[Photo: iStock]