Hundreds of Angry Flyers Miss Stansted Flight

On Tuesday morning, hundreds of vacationing flyers were unable to board the flights from London Stansted Airport (STN) after technical issues related to STN’s x-ray machines resulted in delays. Witnesses compared the ensuing pandemonium to a “zombie apocalypse,” complete with huge crowds that screamed and fainted amid the kerfuffle.

“While we regret any inconvenience caused by this power failure at London Stansted Airport, Ryanair is not responsible for airport security delays,” a Ryanair spokesperson clarified.

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